Will our chancellor soon have to take a seat on this peninsula-sized platter in the Kremlin?
French President Macron already looked like little Lord Fauntleroy at the breakfast table of his grandfather, the strict Earl of Dorincourt, whose role in Moscow was played by Putin.
Then Scholz should take strong binoculars with him so that he can look deep into the supposedly soulless eyes of the landlord, like Biden once did.
Bertolt Kohler
Editor.
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Because at this piece of furniture, the interlocutors sit so far apart that a Russian armored division could easily roll between them on its way to Ukraine.
But what does furniture mean here: This mother of all conference tables in white and gold is a demonstration of power with which Putin shows that he has the longest table and breath.
The chancellor will then have to speak a little louder so that the newcomer at the other end of the table understands what he wants to say to him.
It's about war or peace, there shouldn't be any misunderstandings.
Not even the crystal clear concept of strategic ambiguity, which seems to have become the general guideline of the traffic light coalition, can prevent that.
Even when fighting the pandemic, more ambiguity is hardly possible.
Don't mention the pipeline!
Here and there, our politicians are right, everything has to be on the table now!
The one in the Kremlin is big enough for that and also symbolic in other respects.
It is no coincidence that the mighty pillars on which it stands have the diameter of the pipes of the controversial Nord gas pipeline.
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Au Backe, now we almost named the name that must not be named!
The Chancellor avoided him in Washington like the wizarding community at Hogwarts did the word Voldemort.
Someone must have urgently advised Scholz before meeting Biden: What ever you do – don't mention the pipeline!
It can only have been our new state secretary.
But what does the chancellor do when Putin asks him, you know, in complete confidence?
Scholz cannot rely on the fact that nobody but the KGB man present is listening.
The flower arrangement in the vast no man's land of the table is definitely bugged down to the last petal.
Why didn't Putin bring the table from Yalta?
That Putin always has to exaggerate, both with furniture and with mobilization!
As the Black Sea wine showed for Macron, he does have a sense for subtle messages.
Why didn't he also have the well-established table fetched from Yalta, over which Stalin had dragged the Western Allies when Europe was divided up at the time?
No, Putin has to prove to the world that he can do it even with a six-meter-long plate.
Of course, even that only looks like Ikea compared to the really big table in the Great Hall of the People, to which the great Chinese President Xi Jinping invited for the big state banquet.
There, the illustrious group of guests could look at an Olympic model landscape, the dimensions of which would have been sufficient to reproduce the whole of Taiwan, including the invasion routes.
Berlin could contribute Playmobil helmets
Wouldn't that also be an idea for the rather bare table in the Kremlin?
As a sign of goodwill, Putin could have Ukraine recreated on his record, this beauty that has to conform, whether she likes it or not, as he popularly put it.
Berlin could then contribute a handful of Playmobil helmets to meet our historical responsibility for replicas that are true to the original.
Paris is now trying so hard to de-escalate that it does not want to see the Kremlin's placement as a provocation: the distance was only due to Putin's fear of Corona.
Macron absolutely did not want to be tested by a Russian doctor.
Of course, that must have seemed suspicious to the Russians, who were well versed in biological warfare.
Kazakh President Tokayev, on the other hand, was not so shy about submitting a DNA sample;
you have known each other for a long time.
This valued visitor was allowed to get as close as bedside table length to Putin.
We are now really excited to see where our chancellor will be sitting.