• The Final Interview The last of El Mundo

Dolores de Pacheco (Murcia), 1984. Poet and writer.

His new book, 'How to accompany dying' (The Sphere of Books) is an essay and guide for the dying and suffering, which, deep down, is all of us.

When I read your book I thought of my father's last weeks and the image that comes to me is always a bit strange: I remember that I had to cut his nails but I didn't feel capable. I did other hard tasks but I couldn't do that. Of course, because physical degradation is the first and most intense fear, it is the mirror that tells us what is going to happen to all of us. It tells us that we are the next and, furthermore, it replaces the pleasant memory we have of people who die, it imposes itself on us because it forces us to interact with its brutality. Another memory: at the age of 25, the father of a friend died and I realized that until then I had had almost no contact with death. I knew neither the rituals nor the courtesies of mourningA thanatological education for children is imperative. I know that sounds transgressive,but I think that just as literature classes are given, it is necessary to explain that the end of life is part of life. If from the beginning we talk about death naturally, not as the opposite of life but as a part of life, it is much easier to accept death in a smoother and healthier way. And if it's not schools, it's parents who should educate children in death as part of preparing them to live. What about rituals? Because saying "my deepest condolences" sounds like a silly phrase but, if it exists, it will work. Conventions exist because they give us a handle when we don't know what to say. And we don't know what to say because we haven't been educated in death and we block ourselves.I have a friend whose mother recently passed away and she complains that conversations have become superficial even with very close friends. He said: «My mother is dying» and no one was able to ask him «And how are you?». Because that “how are you?” it means putting yourself in another's shoes, remembering that our mother is going to die. In other words, the phrase works in part but it also contributes to the fact that we all continue to be oppressed by that idea of ​​taboo death. I don't see her with sympathy. Yeah, but don't come to my funeral in a bathing suit, please. I don't ask for mourning, but... Mourning depends on the person. Sometimes it is a sincere expression of pain and sometimes it is a social demonstration, a living up to what is expected. But I agree, a funeral is a situation where you have to show respect and discretion,because the funeral is not about us, it is about the dead. Would you know how to synthesize what a good death is? . In reality, to die well is to have lived conscientiously and fully, to have lived well and understand it that way. And for the mourners, what is a good death? A death that allows us to celebrate the life that is ending and does not leave us stuck in anguish of the moment. That allows us to be in a situation of serenity in which we let the loved one go naturally. May the relationship remain peaceful. And if something remains pending, something always remains, it is important to continue communication with the dead person. Since it is not easy to talk to the dead, I recommend writing.But there are also those who relate through dreams. Is it relevant to be a believer? Faith helps you not to panic, to trust in the process. A prayer, like a meditation, can be a very valuable tool to reach that state of tranquility in which it is possible to let go. Will the metaverse change the idea of ​​death? Will it blur its borders? When I was working at Google we were told that we have to fly the plane while we build it. We don't know how we will live but I am afraid that these changes will lead to increasing confusion and forgetting that death is real.Will the metaverse change the idea of ​​death? Will it blur its borders? When I was working at Google we were told that we have to fly the plane while we build it. We don't know how we will live but I am afraid that these changes will lead to increasing confusion and forgetting that death is real.Will the metaverse change the idea of ​​death? Will it blur its borders? When I was working at Google we were told that we have to fly the plane while we build it. We don't know how we will live but I am afraid that these changes will lead to increasing confusion and forgetting that death is real.

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