Premature child, Daniel wonders if his birth is the cause of his oppression

Gauthier Delomez 5:37 p.m., December 30, 2021

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"The shortcut seems risky", says Sabine Marin

"I was six and a quarter months premature, so I was put in an incubator. When a child is premature, can years later, this express times that you feel oppressed or that? do we feel an emotional loss? "asks Daniel on the free air in Europe 1.

"The shortcut seems risky to me," replies Sabine Marin, who is a hypnologist. "Some studies do tend to show that the way we come to the world affects us and can have repercussions on our character, the way we function. For example, many teenagers who play extreme sports or adults who have babies need adrenaline all the time are born with the cord around their necks. They need to regain the drunkenness of lack of oxygen ".

Sabine Marin continues: "Many children born with forceps are teenagers, adults who have a strong personality, not to say a damn character. Prematurity does not necessarily have a determination like that. On the other hand, we talk also lost twin syndrome. Sometimes the mother is pregnant with two children, she does not know it, and one of the two does not stay. There can be this feeling of emptiness, of lack that we can't explain. "

An emotional lack also perceived by his mother

Daniel underlines this explanation as being "interesting", specifying that he is the last born of his four brothers, and wonders about the childhood of his mother, who also suffers from the same lack as him. “My mother was raised, not by her mother because she died of tuberculosis when she was 1.5 years old, but by her aunt. It may also explain that my mother feels the same lack that I feel. The difference, is that when I was put in an incubator, I was separated a little bit from my mother. "

It is possible that Daniel felt the lack of his mother when he was little, "as if it was very fusional because we are very fusional", he explains.

"The fact of having been separated at birth can create the wound of abandonment, because one has the feeling of having been abandoned," says Sabine Marin.

"Extirpated too soon", Daniel may have felt insecure

“It's not easy to explain,” adds Daniel. "It's a feeling that I felt a few days ago, of oppression or lack, and it can be related to the post-maturation", concedes the listener. However, there is no particular moment when Daniel feels this lack. Sabine Marin explains to the listener that he "was extirpated too early. So, there is a big insecurity that sets in at that moment. You have come out of a safe cocoon to be in a cold and cold world. freezing, and far from mom in addition ".

"Yes, it went into the unconscious, and even into the subconscious", agrees Daniel, appreciating Sabine Marin's answers.

"I have a brother who was just as premature, but less than months old than me. So he didn't feel it as much. I know it was six and a quarter months (...). years 1960-1970, it was the very beginning of the incubators. This can also explain that because it was difficult to be torn from its mother ".

A situation of social insecurity

Recounting several bad experiences in his past life, such as a white marriage, and his failure to build a family life, Daniel explains that his mother gives him a job while he waits for him to find something else.

What makes Sabine Marin say that the cord is not really cut between him and his mother.

"It is also my mother who helps me. I cut a little (the cord) because I left, but I am in a precarious situation at the social level. Perhaps it is that too", Daniel advances.