Millions of people suffer from this disorder.. What do you know about social phobia and how to overcome it?

What you should know

You attend a meeting at work, and a question comes to your mind for the manager that will affect the report you will deliver, but you are afraid that your question will seem silly to the rest of the employees; You choose silence. Or you may be in the classroom, and a vague piece of information said by the teacher prompts you to ask him to re-explain it, but suddenly, after the teacher allows you to ask, thoughts are lost, words run away from you, and you are embarrassed to waste the teacher’s time. Or it happens that you stand at your relative’s wedding, hidden in a dark corner, far from all eyes, and feel that every movement or behavior of you is being watched by a giant eye, with a pen in its hand, that records what you do, criticizes it, mocks it, and shakes its head in regret for what you do. Well, if you come across one of these situations, or all of them, welcome, dear reader, to the Social Anxious Club.

Fortunately, you are not alone.

Social anxiety or phobia is incredibly common. One in 20 Americans suffers from social phobia of all ages, and it is more common in women than men.

Social phobia is characterized by excessive anxiety and self-awareness in normal daily social situations, where the sufferer is dominated by an intense and persistent fear of the idea that his actions are being watched, criticized and ostracized, as well as fear of embarrassment or insult that his actions, words or opinions will cause, flogs himself with excessive cruelty, and decides to Anything that comes out of it will be stupid.

Fear can permeate the anxious person as an obstacle to participating in social activities at work or school.

The sufferer realizes his fear, disorder, and unreasonableness within himself, and knows perfectly well that being around others is neither terrifying nor terrifying to this degree, but at the same time he is unable to overcome it (1).

Why does social anxiety (phobia) occur?

Brain scans reveal that people with social phobia primarily have an overactive part of the brain called the amygdala, the part responsible for responding to changes in the body to surrounding threats, real or imagined. Its activity manifests in symptoms associated with acute anxiety, such as a fast heartbeat, sweaty palms, muscle stiffness, trouble breathing, and rigidity in thinking; This makes the patient unable to analyze the situation properly.

The focus of activity in the brain shifts when we are anxious to a part called the frontal cortex, and its task is to calm the reaction by studying it rationally and calmly, meaning that if there is no real threat that calls for anxiety and preparedness to respond to it, the frontal lobe sends signals to the amygdala to reduce the anxious response . But in the case of social phobia, the frontal lobe amplifies the amygdala’s activity and does not calm it, as if it warns him that any threat is a real threat that requires a response from the body, because the sufferer suffers from a deep-rooted fear of life situations and the reaction of others, but any amount of logical thinking fails. in alleviating these fears. (2)

There are many causes of social phobia, as is the case with most mental disorders, and it may be evidence of other ills such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder or depression, but it has its own causes and genes. In rare cases, social phobia is considered a partial genetic disorder, as research indicates that it is a disorder caused by an imbalance in the regulation of dopamine, which plays a pivotal role in the occurrence, recurrence and reduction of anxiety, so a defect in it leads to mental disorder. Despite the role of genetic nature, the bulk of it lies with the individual's social environment and upbringing, so it is not correct to conclude that social phobia is an incurable genetic disorder.

The problem is centered in the individual’s formation of predetermined and firm opinions that social situations will only bring him harm, and that he will inevitably and in all cases fail to deal with them, and despite his full ability to deal with situations that range in difficulty like any individual who does not suffer from phobias, he fails because of Fear and anxiety about criticism or misjudgment from the environment resulting from a disappointment or a bad memory in the past.

Let's say, for example, that you fell one day in elementary school while on your way to participate in the school radio, and the students laughed at you, and you even discovered later that a group of them called you a funny nickname and your classmates passed it on and remembered the incident.

The effect of an event like this may not leave you by finishing school and away from school, but rather the effect develops and becomes an entrenched fear that convinces you that talking on a platform is the worst thing that can happen to you.

Rather, it stimulates your maturity to exaggerate and multiply the worst. You refrain from participating in a party at the university because you imagine that you have stumbled and that someone might film you and post the clip on YouTube, so the entire Internet will bully you, not just your classmates. This is how the past, with its incidents that were not treated wisely, influences the creation of social phobia. Added to the list is exposure to parental loss or abandonment, physical and emotional abuse, and family violence. These traumatic experiences underscore the idea that the world is scary and traumatic all the time, making avoiding social situations in the world the best protection bubble.

There is a strong relationship between the negative parenting method and psychological disorders, when parents over-protect their child or criticize him or his river or downplay the importance of his thoughts and interrupt his speech or ignore him, or they race to correct his actions crudely instead of kindness and love, or if the importance of opinions precedes People are the feelings of a child.

This environment pushes him to form a negative image of himself and the impression that he does not fit in the world, because everyone is better than him anyway, and increases his fear of taking any action, and undermines his self-confidence and self-esteem (1)(3)

Social phobia is wrongly taken as an extreme form of introversion, and the two terms may even be used synonymously, but the surprise is that you may be socially extroverted and feel more comfortable with people, and suffer from social phobia at the same time.

You might really love and miss your co-worker's birthday party, but you're worried that he doesn't want you there and just invited you out as a courtesy.

But there are three fundamental differences between the two cases:

• Introversion is a trait you are born with, part of your innate nature.

  But social anxiety is learned, you may have a tendency toward it but you weren't born with it.

  Perhaps your parents taught you not to ask for help and to be self-reliant to avoid criticism. Perhaps you were the center of attention in your childhood and this bothered you;

  I worked hard to avoid this feeling of fading out of social life as much as possible as I grew up.

• Isolation makes you feel good if you are an introvert, but in the case of a phobia, it helps relieve your anxiety and increase your loneliness.

  Introverts rush their energy when they are alone or with one or two people close to them, so solitude is positive for them.

  In the case of anxiety, solitude does not make you happy, but rather it makes you feel distracted. You avoid people and deep down you feel excluded, and you are confused between avoiding events that raise your anxiety and your fear of embarrassment or rejection in them.

• You have a feeling of helplessness in social phobia, that you are chained.

  You think you have nothing to share or say, and if you say it, people will ignore or misunderstand you.

  As for the introvert, he is confident in his social skills, and he can keep up with the world with them whenever necessary, even if he needs some effort to do so, but he regains his energy by spending a day alone, accompanied by a book, for example. (4)

  
  

  And so, in the case that your companion is anxious and fearful daily and constantly, And it interfered with your personal, professional, and academic life. Fortunately for us, our brains are capable of reprogramming and adapting to wrong behaviors, distinguishing them from others, and forming new, healthy ones that are compensated with the help of cognitive-behavioral therapy, which is the approach that psychologists prefer over others to treat social phobia in Safe environment (1)

What can I do to treat myself for social anxiety (phobias)?

• First: stop the wheel of fear

Your perception of life situations before they happen and your thinking about them during, after and during them is what your anxiety bases on, which leads to avoiding them all, and avoidance is like pouring fuel on the fire of your fears. Your awareness and preconceptions prompt you to avoid or evade social life as soon as possible, but this reluctance limits you to new positive experiences that can boost your confidence and change your judgment about situations. Avoiding all your social worries means less mixing with people and a lack of employing your social skills, which lowers your self-esteem and question your abilities. The more you focus on avoiding social life, the more you fear getting stuck in a situation against your will; Your anxiety is magnified even more.

Even when your attempts to avoid it fail, you do it with all possible safety behaviors, remain silent, stand in the corner, avoid eye contact with anyone, stay with someone you have always known, and the like.

These actions convince you that the situation went well, that you faced your fear and were present, so you take it as a protective shell.

But these actions only lead to more anxiety.

Because you go to the party with a preconceived conviction and act on it, and what you are afraid of happens: no one will talk to you and you will think you are boring or rejected.

• Second: Pay attention to what is around you and not to yourself

The anxiety stems from checking yourself all the time, putting yourself under a magnifying glass, but you can train your attention to focus on the surroundings.

Imagine a muscle in your brain that needs strengthening in order to be able to control it.

The technique of "attention training" is used in CBT social anxiety, so spending a few minutes alone each day doing these exercises will help reduce anxiety (5).

• Listen to all the sounds around you, immerse yourself in them and enjoy them as much as possible.

  You might close your eyes and hear birdsong, roaring cars in the distance, muffled television, or people talking.

• Look around you and notice the colors and hues in your environment, the strange shadows of buildings on the street, the colors of cars parked in the garage, or the hue of green among the leaves of a large tree.

• Listen to a piece of music several times, focusing on one instrument at a time and switching between them, beginning with the piano, then the guitar, then the vocals, and so on.

  
  

  Little by little, these little exercises will improve your ability to shift your attention to what's around you instead of focusing it all on yourself.

  Always remember when you are worried, whether in an argument with a stranger, or if you want to ask a question, to focus on the recipient and force your attention to divert its course.

• Third: What is the worst-case scenario?

Write a list of your social fears and number them, for example, “0” would be (not anxious) and “10” would be (terrifying and cause a panic attack). Going to a party, giving a presentation at work, eating in a restaurant alone, walking into a room full of people, asking a stranger on the street for an address List them all and rate them, and attach them to your expectations of how things will go, so that you know how you think you will feel then, Quietly ask yourself what is expected and reasonable in the event something worse happens.

Wrong thinking patterns are the reason why you view yourself in social situations in an unfair way. It may help you to start analyzing these thoughts to make the picture clearer to you, so when you go through one of the situations that you listed in your list, compare it to what actually happened on the ground, then you may realize your way in You exaggerated things, that you didn't stutter when you had to speak in front of your colleagues, but laughed at your joke, and you only stood at the party for two minutes and an old friend came to welcome you.

• Fourth: Face your fear gradually

You decided to face the monster?

Let's do this with deliberate steps to avoid any shocks.

At first you ask your professor the question that came to you in the lecture while he is in his office alone, then when there are only two or three students left in the lecture hall, then in a seminar with little attendance, then in the exam hall, and step by step you will find yourself able to give a presentation in front of the whole class.

In conversations, for example, start a listener, and from time to time ask an open question about the weather, the news, car prices, or the last book the listener read. A conversation in which you are engaged.

Likewise with the rest of your fears, step into the water inch by inch and not jump.

• Fifth: Watch your body

Nicotine, caffeine, and sugar are your enemies in general, and especially important if you suffer from social phobia, these substances trigger your anxiety and stress more than your primary goal of eating them.

Some people take cigarettes in times of anxiety and stress, but it causes their heart rate and blood pressure to increase, and thus their anxiety, as well as coffee.

Therefore, it is recommended to replace it with healthy drinks, such as water and fresh juices.

Also, exercise plays a role in stimulating your blood circulation. It is useful for your calm and body to include in your daily schedule a short walk, a periodic visit to the gym, or any movement activities.

Exercise will improve your sleep;

This will make you less prone to anxiety, avoiding lack of sleep or deprivation of sleep, which causes many disorders, including anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and irregular heartbeat (6).

Tools that will help you

• Video: TED-Ed: The Science of Stage Phobia (and How to Overcome It)

• Guide: Social Anxiety (Phobias) - A Self-Help Guide

In addition to the explanation of the psychological and physical symptoms of social anxiety, this small booklet gives you space to record your feelings and thoughts and compare them with the symptoms of anxiety in full. This record will help you understand the extent of your anxiety aggravation or allow you to return to it constantly and monitor the level of improvement, so it is recommended to print and write it periodically.

It is a translation of a self-help guide designed by the NHS to assess social anxiety.

• Book: Why are they looking at me?!

  A practical program to overcome social anxiety - Dr.

  Muhannad Al-Aidan

______________________________________________________________

Sources: