Beirut - The
phenomenon of disputes between children and mothers over the clothes they will wear is still present, and causes great tension in the home, and parents feel confused in front of it, although it may be considered a positive sign and an opportunity to develop the child's personality and skills.
It is noticeable that the child often refuses the clothes that his mother chooses for him, and the final decision is often his.
But in some cases, the child may insist on wearing inappropriate clothes, so what should be done then?
And how can this problem be addressed without tension, screaming or quarrels?
Children do not choose clothes logically and cannot understand that certain types of clothes are suitable for the weather outside the house (pixels)
Treating rebellion attacks
Fascinista Katrina Doba believes that it is easy to get out of this battle, and this is what she does with her children. She goes shopping with her 4-year-old daughter and chooses what comforts her and what she likes of clothes and helps her choose calmly, patiently and with a smile, without a battle of tears, frustration or confusion. It also saves many bouts of rebellion and boosts her self-confidence.
Thus, shopping has turned into an enjoyable experience with interesting conversations, and begins with the journey of searching for a beautiful and elegant outfit or a fashionable dress.
More importantly, according to Duba, a child should not be scolded for not being able to dress without drama, but rather remind ourselves of when we were young, a time when we felt like nothing suited us, and that the task of finding something to wear was overwhelming.
Doba considers this a good time to give a child a good dose of empathy, as we all want to feel like we're wearing clothes and that clothes aren't wearing us.
For her, her daughter is looking for much more than the perfect jeans or the latest stylish shoes, and what she really hopes for is her mother's unconditional love and acceptance.
Some children are simply more sensitive than others, and no matter what, she wants to accept it as it is.
Child participation in shopping to choose clothes that facilitate the process of daily wear (Shutterstock)
mistakes
In the end, stubbornness is a natural part of a child's mental and personal development, explains Child and Adolescent Psychologist and Behaviorist Inas Zuhairi.
At the age of 3 he begins to act narcissistic, and seeks to confirm his presence, as he has greater control over his body, and shows his desire to do things on his own, and it is better for his parents to allow him to do some things, as long as this does not pose a threat to his safety. The age of three can hold a spoon and eat on his own, there is no harm in allowing him to do so, and the same if he can wear his clothes.
But the problem - as Zuhairi tells Al Jazeera Net - is that children do not choose clothes logically, and they cannot take responsibility and understand that certain types of clothes are suitable for the tasks they will perform or for the weather outside the house.
So that getting dressed in the morning doesn't turn into a real battle, Zuhairi suggests making this choice and agreeing on it the night before. This is an opportunity to train children to prepare everything they will need when they go to school in advance, such as a bag, books, homework and clothes.
The psychologist and behavioral therapist advises children and adolescents to establish a dialogue about what clothes are allowed and what is inappropriate, by making agreements such as excluding clothes that do not fit the weather, and those that are soiled, and leaving the freedom for the child to choose among the rest.
The situation of wearing clothes, like any other situations that bring the mother together with her child, requires calm and patience, so that the matter does not turn into a conflict in which the child's stubbornness increases.
A mother should give her child the freedom to choose the clothes that make him feel comfortable (pixels)
Who chooses?
Which is better, for the mother to choose the child's clothes instead or to let him choose?
This is a common and frequent question among mothers that must be answered, and according to Zuhairi, this is due to occasions.
On normal days, a child can choose the clothes he wants, provided that his choice is appropriate for the climate. Sometimes we find a child who wants to wear winter clothes in the height of summer. In this case, the mother’s intervention is necessary, and in a positive way, and it is natural for you to discuss it with him and explain to him why These dresses are not appropriate at this time.
In general, when the mother leaves her child the freedom to choose the clothes that make him feel comfortable, she promotes the formation of an independent personality, but at the same time she must monitor his choices and advise him without feeling that she is imposing her opinion and taste on him.
What are we wearing today?
This is the second question that mothers ask their children, and they fall into error again. This question should not be directed to the child because he will understand that he is unable to control matters or choose what suits him, and he will be confused as the decision-maker and the one who has to make the selection process.
A young child needs firm authority, and to understand that you are the master of the situation.
It is important to encourage the child to get dressed himself, help him and explain to him what to do so that he learns, and then he will master the dressing process.
It is important to use the method of praise when the child wears clothes without quarrels, and it is also possible to strengthen the relationship between mother and son at this time to express love and tenderness.
It is important to use praise when the child is dressed without quarreling (pixels)
Independent personal
The child and adolescent psychiatrist adds that the good side is that the child now has an independent personality and wants to express his opinion in his own matters, and on the other hand, patience, wisdom and calmness must be exercised, so that the mother can deal with his inappropriate choices correctly.
And if the child chooses clothes that are completely inappropriate and cannot go out, such as choosing clothes that are not suitable for the weather, or sleep clothes, for example, she should talk to him and explain why the clothes are not suitable for going out, and bend on her knees at the level of the child, and look at him with love and talk about the difference between Sleeping and going out clothes, summer and winter clothes, and that every place has clothes to suit.
And the mother should act smart to motivate him to wear the appropriate clothes, such as telling him that she will wear yellow clothes, so what about him wearing his wonderful yellow shirt and taking some pictures together and so on.. Invent new ways to encourage him to wear the right clothes without being forced.
While changing the child's clothes, the difference between the types of clothes (communication sites) must be explained.
Teach the right choice
The following are the most important tips that a psychologist and behavioral therapist for children and adolescents give to mothers, to teach their children how to choose the right clothes:
The difference between the types of clothes:
While the child changes clothes, you explain to him why we wear comfortable cotton clothes at home, sports at the club, and elegant clothes suitable for going out of the house, and talk about the importance of choosing the right clothes for the right place.
The importance of shopping:
It is important at this stage to take the child to the store to choose his clothes, after agreeing with him on the number of pieces to be purchased for him, and on the type of clothes if they are for home or going out, and help him choose by giving advice without forcing him to choose a particular piece.
Offer suitable alternatives:
The child must feel that he is choosing and deciding, so you can offer suitable alternatives for him to choose from what he likes.
Pre-agreement:
This saves a lot of time. For example, ask your child to choose his clothes that he will wear the next morning from the night before, to save time wasted in the morning about the clothes he will wear.
Independence:
Teaching the child to wear clothes on his own. There is nothing more wonderful than watching the child grow up and express his opinions and choices, and letting him choose his own clothes.