Oh Lord, let it be election night!
If we had to watch a single trial, another electoral arena or even a plaintext broadcast, of course also without plaintext, we would finally no longer know who to vote for.
Berthold Kohler
Editor.
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The candidates themselves, whose talk show suitability - the most indispensable ability a Federal Chancellor must have - has now really been adequately tested, did not contribute so much to our confusion.
Laschet was just Laschet, Scholz remained Scholz and Baerbock a green one.
And the quick polls always only produced the same result.
Can you actually take out a subscription for this?
If so, then the CDU election campaign management failed to do that too.
Top-class juries with razor-sharp analyzes
It was rather the top-class juries with their razor-sharp analyzes that made us sway.
The luminaries from very different industries must always have seen something different, or at least more, in the TV studio than we did at home in front of the telly.
Could it be that these alleged live shows were just broadcasted?
Who knows what we'll see then.
The funniest scenes of the election in Russia only appeared when all the ballot papers had been counted, including those that were quickly stuffed into the ballot box behind your back.
This filling up may not have been entirely in keeping with the teaching.
With these corrections, however, the motherland of flawless democracy was spared the trembling game that lies ahead.
The CSU, which is always right, firmly reckons that there will be a "blink of an eye" final on Sunday, so Laschet and Scholz will only cross the finish line with a difference of hundredths of a second.
In the past, people talked about a heartbeat finale, but this is not a matter close to the heart of the CSU.
The fact that the runner from the CDU is only second winner is out of the question for Söder, who was denied participation in the Olympics.
You can literally hear the coaching staff in Munich screaming at Laschet the sentence that drove Jan Ullrich to victory in the last few meters: Torment yourself, you pig!
In the past, the saying with the camel drivers might have been used, but now it is no longer even permitted in Bavaria.
Who will Merkel's new tenant
The prospect that the photo at the finish may only decide who will be Merkel's new tenant even made the Chancellor interrupt her farewell tour through the German bird parks and briefly go to the cinder track.
It doesn't mean later that it was also because she didn't even hand Laschet a banana on his marathon obstacle course.
Even if Laschet is a millimeter ahead on Sunday thanks to the incredible support from within its own ranks, the race for chancellorship has not yet been decided.
Only then does the freestyle struggle begin to determine who is forming a coalition with whom.
And the outcome of this competition is completely open, as was shown in the last TV round on Thursday evening.
Well, the SPD, the Greens and the Left Party showed a more or less strong tendency to form a common team.
But will it come to that?
In any case, Söder has not yet given up his campaign for the Greens.
One is much closer to one another on the fundamental questions of life than the dispute over minor issues in climate policy would suggest.
Söder not a bodybuilder?
Söder not only hugged trees, but now also explained in front of the camera and in front of Baerbock that he had reduced his meat consumption in order to improve his carbon footprint - the Franconian strongman who we believed was doing bodybuilding in his basement and eat three bloody steaks for breakfast.
But recently tofu sausages have apparently been served in the house of the Bavarian Prime Minister.
Laschet said when he sat next to Söder on Thursday that giving up could also be fun.
Fortunately, at least after the final round of the candidates, there was not a final round of the candidate experts to have their say.
Because then it would have been clear what the interpreters of the debate would have read from Laschet's words.