Politeness and kindness are considered commendable behaviors and a sign of good morals, but exaggerating this trait may have opposite effects.
So sometimes you have to stop apologizing and justifying everything.
And writer Charlotte Hilton Anderson presents - in a report published by the Australian edition of Readersdigest - 15 signs that you are too polite, so what are they?
Constantly complimenting people's appearance
Compliments can be nice, but when they are just about looks, they can be superficial.
Etiquette expert Bonnie Tsai warns that making sure to compliment people every time you meet them makes you lose a lot of energy and appear dishonest;
Therefore, it is preferable to only compliment people and praise for their achievements, rather than superficial compliments about their appearance.
Provide long answers to questions
You may think that you are going to be very kind when you give all the details and information to the person who asks you a question, but in reality it is best to just stick with the basic information.
Long answers make the listener feel bored and lose focus.
Some people maintain eye contact for longer than necessary, turning it into a feeling of hostility and annoyance (pixels).
Maintain eye contact for a long time
Some see that looking people in the eyes reflects interest in what they have to say.
But some people maintain this eye contact for longer than necessary, and it turns out to be hostile and uncomfortable.
Psychologist Jeff Larsen advises to be satisfied with a natural and honest look in the eyes of the person with whom you are interviewing.
Then turn your gaze at the right time, and if you're not sure how to do this normally, you can ask a friend to practice with you.
Agree to everything
Are you the one everyone goes to when they need something?
Although this is a sign that you are a generous person, it can sometimes go too far.
Bonnie Tsai says that this may give you a nice feeling at first, when you accept the help of another person for fear of hurting their feelings, but it may have a devastating effect on your relationship, because when you always answer with the word yes, you put yourself under stress and put pressure on the relationship.
Constantly use flowery phrases
When you say words like "awesome" and "beautiful" it's a nice compliment, but when you constantly resort to exaggerated terms like "amazing" and "great" you push the boundaries and it becomes stressful.
It is recommended to use these phrases in a limited and timely manner, so as not to lose their meaning.
When you always accept the help of another person for fear of hurting their feelings;
It could have a devastating effect on your relationship (Pixels)
Hide your opinions
There is a big difference between trying to accommodate different points of view, and being content with accepting the opinions of others and going along with them.
Etiquette consultant Marianne Parker explains that you may think this behavior makes you polite;
But when you agree with everything they say and are without an opinion, you appear weak and indecisive.
apologies for everything
The word "sorry" is one of the simplest signs of politeness, but some people use it inappropriately, rushing to apologize even when it's not their fault.
Tsai points out that over-justifying and apologizing is a sign of low self-esteem, and makes you vulnerable to being taken advantage of by others.
Touching other people's bodies opens the door to embarrassment and cross-border (pixels)
Inappropriate touching of people
Shaking hands is considered acceptable and recommended behavior, but touching others' bodies opens the door to embarrassment and overstepping boundaries, especially with the opposite sex.
"You might think that when you pat someone on the shoulder or hug them, you express your affection for them, but you can make them panic or upset," says Jeff Larson.
Allowing the person in front of you to make all decisions Behavior that may negatively affect your image (pixels)
Always submitting to the wishes of others
Some people think that letting the person in front of them make all the decisions is appropriate behavior, especially with business managers or older people, but complying with their wishes and waiting for their orders all the time negatively affects your image, and makes them not take you seriously.
Just silence
Listening to others when they talk is considered good manners, and it is recommended by many who like to talk constantly about their problems.
Being overly concerned with other people's affairs and compromising your right to speak, Tsai says, deprives you of the opportunity to express your opinion and show your personality.
In general, the word dialogue means the attraction of two people to talk.
Giving up your right to speak deprives you of the opportunity to express your opinion and show your personality (pixels)
Excessive political caution
Neutrality or caution when talking about politics is a double-edged sword;
It can reflect your respect for the opinions, cultures, and beliefs of others, but this habit can transcend boundaries.
Marianne Parker says that some think that the justification for this behavior is to avoid offending others, but in reality it is impossible to please everyone, so it is better to express your opinion.
If you clean the table while others are not finished eating, this may sound like a sign that you want everyone to stop and leave which is rude (Pixels)
Clean the table while others are eating
Some people are eager to wash the dishes to express their gratitude and contribute to the cleanup, but if you do this while others haven't finished eating, it may sound like a sign that you want everyone to stop and leave.
If you're not the host, Tsai warns, this behavior can seem extremely rude, as the homeowner may think you mean the table is unclean, or that you want to dominate him in his private space.
Give a one word answer
Some people are afraid of over-expressing themselves, so they prefer to give short answers;
But Parker sees that one-word answers are never a sign of good manners, as those who get a yes or no answer only feel you are ignoring them or trying to get rid of them.
Introductory conversation in the beginning plays a big role in making people feel comfortable and bonding between them, before discussing important issues (pixels)
Ignore introductory conversations
Introductory and short talks have a bad reputation these days, and many have a hard time engaging in them, and are afraid of the consequences.
So some think that opening the dialogue with questions such as how are you?
Or how do you see the weather?
It's an unnecessary protocol, and it's best to get straight to the point.
But Parker thinks that small conversation in the beginning plays a big role in making people feel comfortable and bonding, before discussing important issues.
Rejecting compliments puts you in a bad situation and makes others feel uncomfortable (pixels)
Refuse compliments
Someone might tell you, "You're too smart"; She replies, "That's not true, I was just lucky, I'm a jerk." You may think that you are so humble and kind, but rejecting compliments puts you in a bad position and makes others feel uncomfortable; So, Parker advises, learn how to accept compliments and show gratitude toward them.