Considering successors at a young age is not superfluous
◎Zhu Jie
Psychological talk
The "China Will Bank 2020 White Paper" released a few days ago shows that the people who made wills are showing a clear trend of younger ones.
In 2020 alone, 553 "post-90s" entered the Chinese Will Bank to make wills, and the number of "post-80s" making wills reached 503, a six-fold increase from three years ago.
In the traditional Chinese concept, only people who are old and sick will get involved in a will.
But in recent years, many "post-90s" and even "post-00s" have joined the army of wills.
This trend makes many people puzzled. After all, judging from their health conditions, young people in their 20s and 30s are in the golden age of their lives. It stands to reason that they are a group of people far away from death; For young people, they did not accumulate too many assets.
Therefore, in the eyes of many people, this kind of behavior is unnecessary.
So, is this behavior really redundant?
Let me listen to you one by one from the perspective of psychology.
Take the opportunity to examine the present and plan for the future
In recent years, the deepening of China's rule of law is undoubtedly a major driving factor for the rejuvenation of testament.
A will is an important means to help the parties delineate the scope of the estate and avoid subsequent disputes on the premise of respecting the true wishes of the individual.
However, in addition to the practical significance, making a will is also of great psychological significance.
Existential psychology believes that if we want to seriously think about the meaning of life, we have to look directly at death, which is of great significance to our lives.
It can be imagined that since a will is to be made, the parties may think about the following questions: "What things are really valuable to me at the moment" "What makes them so important to me" "In the past In my life, who are particularly important to me"... In the process of serious thinking and writing a will, it will surely trigger the person's review of the past life, the examination of the current life, and the re-planning of the future life.
The Stoic school of philosophy believes that if you want to learn how to live, you must first think deeply about death.
From this perspective, it is speculated that what young people value may not only be the practical significance of the will, but also its psychological significance.
I hope to use the will as an opportunity to make myself think seriously about the meaning of life.
You can leave less regrets and don't cause trouble to others
In our culture, people often avoid or avoid talking about topics related to death.
Many people have this experience in childhood. When we ask our parents what "death" is, we will immediately exchange for "Don't mention it, it's unlucky."
In school education, there has also been a long-term phenomenon of desalination and weakening of life education.
But as early as more than 2500 years ago, the sage Confucius pointed out that "the dead are like their husbands, and will not give up day and night." Death is an inescapable end for human beings.
It is undeniable that talking about death is by no means an easy thing, which often induces a strong sense of anxiety.
In life, we cannot always think about death, just as we cannot always stare at the dazzling sun.
However, the consequence of ancestors' secrets about death for generations is that many people may only begin to think about the ultimate question of life when their loved ones and friends pass away.
Faced with the coming problems, they took an evasive attitude and did not take any positive actions in the end. Psychologists call this psychology "ostrich mentality" (because ostriches will bury their heads in the grass when they are in danger. Think it’s safe if you don’t see the danger with your eyes).
People live a lifetime, and death is a problem we must face head-on.
In real life, people may also encounter various natural and man-made disasters and accidents.
In particular, the new crown pneumonia epidemic that broke out last year has claimed the lives of millions of people worldwide.
This sudden disaster has made many young people aware of the impermanence of life and the importance of cherishing the present.
Making a will in advance can not only save yourself some regrets, but also reduce the possibility of adding trouble to family and friends in the future, which will kill two birds with one stone.
Excessive anxiety requires psychological counseling
However, it cannot be denied that among these young people who made their wills in advance, there are also some who do not want to gain inner growth by looking directly at death, but because their hearts are haunted by a strong sense of insecurity, they are overwhelmed by death. fear.
For them, making a will in advance may be a way to temporarily relieve anxiety, hoping to gain a sense of illusory certainty about the future.
Psychiatrist Owen Yaron pointed out that if the individual’s growth process is basically smooth, then they can unconsciously adjust the anxiety caused by death through various defense mechanisms (such as repression, denial), and control it to a certain level. , And thus live a normal life.
However, if an individual encounters sudden and threatening events in the development process, such as war, abuse, natural disasters, fatal diseases, etc., it may be difficult to form a relatively stable psychological model that adapts to pressure.
They will be extremely sensitive to death-related stimuli, and will have an anxiety that is far above normal.
If this kind of anxiety persists for a long time, and affects normal social interaction, work, and the establishment of intimacy, then it is recommended that these people go for psychological counseling for more help.
(The author is a national third-level psychological counselor)