Chiqui Martí The terrible accident that almost removed the stripper from 'Crónicas Marcianas'
The method differs little from that used by the
Medellín cartel
: kidnapped, in pajamas and blindfolded, sometimes the difference is the impossibility of paying a ransom, a bag with the dollar symbol, a
bizum
. And a
ridiculous costume
. They are the boyfriends and girlfriends kidnapped on a Friday morning to celebrate their
bachelor party
. It sounds excessive, but if I had been able to pay for it, if there had been a way to escape from some guys dressed as
smurfs
, armed with wit and modern torture devices - a funnel - who were once his comrades,
Juan
[fictitious name] would still
keep his
friends.
friends
.
He was the groom of a bachelor party perpetrated by a barbarian tribe that ended in quinary just at the moment when the idea of an alliance outweighed the single ring.
Discouraged from even asking him, a person close to the case told LOC that "it was mega painful, it was ruined, it was not funny at all."
The friends "all ended up outside the wedding and they have not been spoken to again.
He does not want to remove anything from that topic because it is a very sad matter."
Gabriel
[also fictional] was another victim of this cruel trail of
friendship
. Driven to Salamanca, a very common destination; deprived of a mobile phone and
sentenced to the electric chair of the shotgun
, he was abandoned in the middle of the street drunk and alone. "He didn't know how to get back,
someone on the street bought him a Coca-Cola
and he came back pissed off after being alone all night," says a friend. "They passed three towns. They left his body full of bruises from the bruises they gave him.
On Sunday he returned alone to Madrid
", describes the torture of the command. Gabriel left the WhatsApp group, the first sign of modern anger, something suggestive enough for these Assyrians who, repentant, asked for forgiveness. A
happy end
compared to the previous case.
These two cruel anecdotes cannot be upgraded.
The normal thing is that, like the tennis player
Tommy Robredo
-who will wonder what the hell a photo of him is doing here-, the experience is pleasant even if the groom is dressed as
Pamela Anderson
, with a blonde wig and foam breasts;
and the girlfriend of a sumo wrestler or police officer or a naughty nurse from whom penises hang like a fir tree.
A crazy weekend, tacky and in droves
to fire someone who will now have to ask permission through the taking of bars in a foreign city so that, like in
Las Vegas
, what happens does not transcend.
The chaos is such that many city councils, hoteliers and, above all, neighbors declared war on these practices before the pandemic: Córdoba, Granada, Salamanca, Málaga, Conil or Tarifa.
Places besieged by squirt guns.
Bachelor party in MadridJavier Cuesta
It is a lucrative business that, according to hospitality sources, amounts to
300 million euros a year
: generated by the 300,000 dismissals that are held each year with an average of 10 attendees in the same period. The sector is recovering after the pandemic has stopped. "
We are almost in figures from February of last year
", indicates
Javier García
, co-founder of Despedidas BIG, one of the companies dedicated to the organization of this type of most popular events in Madrid. "The problem of the business is the temporality: weddings are concentrated in June, July and September", indicates this businessman, who perceives a change in trend: "
It is going from more erotic celebrations to something more elegant
and.
The girls used to go to a restaurant and hire a stripper and cane gymkhana service;
now they prefer a good dinner at the trendy restaurant. "Limousine rentals, barbecue days in open-air farms, Yellow Humor-style tests, go-karts, multi-adventure plans, paintball or any imaginable activity are also popular.
STRIPPERS AND 'ANTISTRIPPERS'
But beyond the groom and his acolytes,
the strippers and the
boys
are the other protagonists
of these celebrations. "They call me 'El stripper de
La Resistencia
'",
Ricardo
tells
LOC after his recent
late night
appearance
by
David Broncano
in Cero. He started as public relations in the Joy Eslava room in Madrid when he was 16 years old and, after meeting a go-go who guided him, an agency hired him at 21 years old. He charges 120 euros if there is no travel and his job does not prevent him from having a partner, of whom he assures "takes it well".
Rosa Kohen
has been working as a stripper for half her life. It began with 18 years, when it signed up to
pole dance
"because it did not like to do sports". How do they treat you? "A 98% perfect, almost all the problems are the same that you can find in a disco", affirms. "Since all the restrictions have been removed, people are cheering up, although before it was 10 or 11 in one night." A show with Rosa's full nude ranges between 120 and 150 euros.
A search of this type for services yields other less orthodox results:
antistrippers
. "They are the opposite of strippers," a website tries to explain. They refer to
drag queens
or people with
achondroplasia
. The miniboys, a company that offers this type of service, prefers not to attend us: "We don't need it, we are doing very well ...", they say on the other side of the phone. However, the geographical distribution of the
antistrippers
throughout the national territory is
striking
. "
There are no dwarfs in Andalusia, there are in Madrid
. The only dwarf plan but it is not a dwarf is Alba", clarifies an Andalusian company on the other end of the phone about a 150-centimeter woman.
- She is short but she is not a dwarf.
It's kind of
generalized
, but we can bring dwarfs from Madrid.
If you want a dwarf for a farewell you are going to spend 500 euros
- For the whole night?
-
A couple of hours
.
According to the criteria of The Trust Project
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