Rémi fell in love with Michèle when he had been a priest for 34 years.

Warned by Rémi, the bishop of his diocese tolerated their romantic relationship.

But Rémi was dismissed ten years later when a new bishop was appointed.

Rémi tells Olivier Delacroix his love story, lived in secret.

TESTIMONY

Rémi had been a priest for 34 years when he met Michèle, a parishioner, in August 2000. While their love affair was only just beginning, Rémi revealed her existence to the bishop of his diocese.

The latter did not revoke him, leaving him to live his romantic relationship discreetly.

But in 2009, a new bishop was appointed and he dismissed Rémi two years later.

Still in a relationship with Michèle, Rémi confides in Olivier Delacroix on his love story which has remained secret for ten years.

>> Listen to Rémi's testimony in full here

Rémi remembers his meeting with Michele at a party at the presbytery: "I was at the window and I was asking if there was a need for cups. Someone who answered me and our eyes met. Something It happened in our eyes that day. Michele was looking at me and I was looking at her. Something happened that touched me deep in my being, in my eyes, in my body and in my heart. When we said it to each other a few days later, she told me that something had happened for her too. 

I called her back and said I would like to see her.

She told me to come because she too.

It seems very simple.

I have always been fairly free with regard to the discipline of the Church.

I know her well.

In the commitment to the priestly ministry, the celibacy of priests is obligatory.

I made this commitment and I know very well that I have not kept fidelity to this commitment in the Church society which is mine and which I still love.

"

I didn't feel much different from other lovers

"

After two months, my love for Michèle seemed essential to me. During a meeting of colleagues and friends, I told them: 'Guys, I'm in love with Michele'. The day I told my coworkers, I didn't feel much different from other lovers. I know very well that I am a priest, but first of all I am a man. They were a little surprised, but it also made them talk about their emotional life. What I live, I must say it and share. People need to know that. 

I didn't want it to stay hidden and I wrote to my bishop.

I wanted him to know that and to know that above all, I was a human being with a heart, body, human intelligence and the possibility of human love.

He could have dismissed me right away.

I don't know what my decision would have been if he had asked me to make an imperative choice between Michele and the ministry.

I cannot tell you my answer since the question did not come. 

"

Priests have always loved

"

We thought about it a bit with Michele and we said to ourselves that if he had asked me to make an imperative choice, I would have chosen to continue the ministry. I had 34 years of ministry life behind me. I had underlying this passion for the female presence. My relationship with Michèle obviously posed a problem for me. Very quickly, I told Michele that for me, the rule of celibacy is not an intangible rule. Today, it is the rule of the Christian, Catholic and Roman Church. This is not the rule of the universal Church, but it is in the Latin tradition. 

I did not lack love.

I found love in a very human way.

In the celibacy imposed by the Latin Church, you do not have the right to encounter this human love.

I am picky about this right that we do not have.

I tell myself that priests have always loved.

Why are we being told: 'You don't have the right'?

This is where I am outside the rule.

I kicked out because it was good too.

Going underground is hard to live with. "

"

To be a Christian is to be free to live what makes oneself and others happy

"

In 2009, a new bishop was appointed in the diocese to which Rémi belonged. The latter immediately informed him of his situation, but it was not until two years later that Rémi was summoned to the bishopric: "He told me straight away said: 'We must be in Truth. Former priests have written to me that you live in a conjugal relationship. Answer me yes or no. ' I told him: 'It is true and has been for 11 years. You know it because I told you so in 2009. All the members of your office and episcopal vicars know it. Your predecessor certainly left you a file. '. 

He replied that he was unaware of what I was telling him.

He added: 'I, as a bishop, cannot leave the ministry to you.'

I replied: 'I know that, I suspected it.

Thank you for allowing me to live with Michele under your mandate as bishop for two years.

Then I thank your predecessor for allowing me to do so for ten years. '"

>> Find all the episodes of In Olivier's eyes in replay and podcast here

Michele, Rémi's companion, talks about living a relationship with a man of the Church, as a Christian: "Paradoxically, I did not feel guilty because, for me, to be a Christian is to be free to live what makes oneself and others happy, as long as one doesn't hurt the other. We tried not to have shocking attitudes. I think I surely would have been part of those who would have thought it was wrong. So I can't blame them. "

Asked about the meaning of his testimony to Olivier Delacroix, Rémi delivers his feelings and transmits a message of love: "I want to testify that we are in the flesh and that we love each other. had a rule that forbade me. The rule, I put it at the service of love. 'Love each other as I have loved you', it seems to me much stronger than all the rules of men."

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