In "Sans Rendez-vous", Friday, the sex therapist Catherine Blanc answers Mathieu, who refuses to exchange his phone codes with his wife.

According to the specialist, watching someone else's phone is not a healthy game, and refusing to give access to your phone does not mean that you have something to hide.

Do you need to know everything that is going on in your partner's life, until you have access to your phone?

In Without appointment, Friday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc answers the question of a listener who refused to exchange his phone codes with his wife.

This one wonders if it is normal to want to keep this space of intimacy even when one is in couple.

>> Find sex questions every day at 3:50 p.m. on Europe 1 as well as in replay and podcast here

Mathieu's question

We learned that a couple of friends had exchanged their phone codes.

My wife offered to do the same, and I told her it was out of the question.

Who is right ?

Catherine Blanc's response

The telephone is problematic because it is with whom I speak.

In reality, just because we love someone deeply and are loyal to them doesn't mean that our thoughts are all in their direction.

The telephone also contains our freedoms and our difficulties to sometimes set limits, to another who would call or write to us and to whom we respond kindly, not to encourage, but because we do not dare to be too stuck, on the pretext. to be married or in a relationship.

So we play a bit of a game of seduction, even if it does not go further.

However, we do not want someone to be able to attend this kind of personal pleasure, to see how far the exchanges can go and what we create, or that the other way that we do not know limit the person opposite because you don't want to come across as someone who is a little stuck, a little classic, a little too moralizing, etc.

So, it's true that it's very intimate because these are places where the proofs of our vagaries, our reflections, our erotic games reside, even when there is no eroticism in the facts.

But if we refuse, is it that we have something to hide?

It's always the risk, but it's also interesting to say 'I have nothing to hide, but I don't want you to be able to trace the thread of my thoughts, of my exchanges, which also follows the rhythm the vagaries of our relationship '.

Moreover, if we want to hide things, even when we have phone codes, we always find a way to do so.

I think it is not good.

Seeing part of what's on the other's mind isn't always easy to manage.

I'm not for secrets, I'm not for complicated lives, but from there to giving full access, it doesn't have to be a very healthy game.

There are other things to create together than going afterwards to look at what the other is saying.