“I raised them and forgot myself, and they forgot me now,” says Ahlam, who was not married and was busy raising the children of her brothers. She is on the threshold of 80 and admits that she made a mistake, because the children are not her children, even if she spends her life in raising them.

She says that they love her, but they prefer their family, as sometimes more than a month passes and you do not see them.

Aida helped raise the children of her widowed sister, and they used to call her "Mama Aida", and she married an age that did not allow her to have children, and they were her goal at the expense of herself, to the extent that she divorced her later, and she left her property to them and they did not leave her until her last breath.

They are mothers without children, in whom the passion of motherhood prevails, and sometimes it does not find someone to flow for.

An empty bed awaits the child of Soha Karam, who had a miscarriage 5 times and is still keeping it (pixel-expressive)

Soha Karam, who got married in her mid-thirties, faced diseases that prevented her from achieving the dream of motherhood, says to Al-Jazeera Net, "Sometimes I feel that my uterus is a time bomb, and I do not take it away, I still have little hope and I will not waste it." The one who collected her in every pregnancy, and wishes to be a mother, “Children are the joy of life, otherwise what is its value.” She says that she was very moved when her close friend offered to embrace a fetus in her womb, but she did not find the legal way out for the matter.

I don't want to have children

On the other hand, the media, Rita Khoury, states that not having children was her personal choice, and she was blamed for speaking out about the matter, as she did not appreciate the grace of God.

She considers that the maternal instinct is "composing and composing does not apply to all women," and she says, "I am not able to make a decision about a pet, so how about a child!" In her opinion, the boy is a responsibility until the end of her life, but she spent her life close to the children of her relatives, friends and husband, whose daughter considers Rita Now she is her son's grandmother, and she feels that way, and says that her relationship with her "grandson" is the title of unconditional love.

As for Farah Milan, her decision not to have children because of the country's poor economic and security situation, and she says, "Either we have children in a country that respects human rights, children and women, otherwise there is no point in bringing an unhappy spirit that struggles throughout her life to be captured by a leader here or an official there." It will be featured in the event that she and her husband immigrated from Lebanon

Psychotherapist Nahid Al-Masry: Motherhood's affection is innate, biological at first, but it becomes socially acquired after she gives birth (Al-Jazeera)

Motherhood is innate

Psychotherapist Nahid al-Masry considers that the description of the relationship that a mother gathers with her child differs from one situation to another. There is a “maternal bond” that is linked to the processes of pregnancy and childbirth, and there is a “maternal instinct” which is a biological innate instinct that starts from childhood. Hormonal and genetic, and it develops with age in the female, and there is "maternal love", and this love may exist for the female even if she does not have children.

This, according to Al-Masry, indicates that maternal affection is biological in the beginning, but it becomes socially acquired after childbirth.

Choosing motherhood and trying to reach it isn't within everyone's reach (pixels)

Child absence

Al-Masry points out that the natural entity of the family consists of a father, mother and children, and the number of children and timing of childbearing are with the consent of the spouses, but when the marriage is based on the need or desire to have children only, then this entity is considered vulnerable to collapse, because the origin of marriage is not based on children only, but on There are many foundations, such as love, respect, participation, affection and compassion as well, so the absence of the ability to have children may be a cause of psychological disturbances for the female, if the concept of happiness or stability is associated with the presence of children.

She added that there are many homes that are blessed with children and there is no happiness, and we may find cases of divorce, which means that the presence of children or their absence does not affect the marital relationship, but rather the acceptance of the two parties to this matter or their rejection of it is what determines the health of the relationship and thus the psychological health of the female.

A mother who is only happy with the completion of the elements of motherhood cannot live without this emotion, otherwise she will feel deficient (lazy)

Mothers in different shapes

The psychotherapist considers that there are many roles linked between the female and the child, with or without a motherhood link, such as the childbearing woman who carries and gives birth to the child but does not care for him or leaves him for a force majeure, and the lactating woman who breastfeeds a child does not give birth to her child for a fee, and the nanny who takes care of the child. And to feed, protect, and take care of a child who did not give birth, and the mother who conceives, conceives, raises, and takes care of all the details of the child, and Al-Masry says that in the latter case, motherhood is complete.

From this standpoint, the psychotherapist adds that a woman who has not given birth cannot be deficient or deformed, and that - if she loses one of her characteristics by being a biological mother to a child - she has many characteristics and roles that she can perform, even if she does not carry the child in her womb.

Al-Masry considers that the nature of a woman consists of three entities, namely the female, the wife and the mother. Therefore, if one entity is overwhelmed by another, the woman’s emotion and behavior change.

In her opinion, a wife who loves and appreciates her husband and is the focus of her life, interests and happiness, will not be affected by the absence of children from her life, and therefore will not tend to compensate for the passion of motherhood with the care of the children of peers, relatives or brothers.

As for the mother - who is only happy with the completion of the elements of motherhood - she cannot live without this emotion, otherwise she will feel inferior, and therefore she will try to find children to take care of them and share her affection with them either through full care or participation with the children's parents.

Children are the adornment of this life in the eyes of many women (pixels)

At the same time, we find the female woman who loves herself and treats her husband, relatives and those around her with narcissism, and seeks attention and only cares about herself and her needs, and therefore if she gives birth, she may be a reckless mother, and if she does not give birth, she will be a female who loves herself and spoils herself, and will compensate for the absence of children with her pleasure in enjoying life According to psychotherapist Nahed Al-Masry.

Al-Masry concludes by saying that children are the adornments of this worldly life, complements of happiness and complements of marital life, and a reason for the continuation of humanity, but their absence in a woman's life should not be a reason for her unhappiness, so the supremacy of the woman or her indulging in sorrows is her decision.

Even if society’s outlook is harsh, it is it who determines its stability based on the psychological, biological and social components that knead its clay. It is either solid, resistant to sorrows, or soft, which changes with changing times and situations.