The new "three big pieces" are as heavy as a mountain, and some of them spend millions of dollars on marriage-the difficulty of marriage troubles the rural older men
Xinhua News Agency, Beijing, February 14 -
Title: new "Big Three" heavy as a mountain, and some spend hundreds of million of marriage - marriage difficult problems of rural older young men
Xinhua News Agency "Xinhua Viewpoint" reporters Sun Liangquan, Zhai Zhuo, Zhou Nan, Cui Junjie
This Spring Festival holiday, many married young people are faced with three questions from relatives and friends: "Have you found someone? Is there a suitable one? When will you get married?"
"Xinhua Viewpoint" reporters visited Shanxi, Henan, Hunan and other places recently and found that many rural older men and young men are even more "embarrassed" to face this problem.
In some rural areas, the cost of the new “three major items” necessary for getting married, such as cars, houses, and gifts, has soared to millions of yuan, and marriage has become a heavy burden for some families.
The "three big pieces" become the "three big mountains"
"If you marry a wife in the village, some of them cost about 1 million yuan, and you can't afford to marry them." A local villager said helplessly when the reporter was interviewing in a county in northern Shanxi.
There are more than 600 people in this village, including more than 20 older unmarried young men.
"On average, there is one in ten households." The village cadre said that these people are concentrated in their thirties, and there are still a few in their forties.
The reporter visited many places and found that the new “three big things” such as houses, cars, and bridesmaids cost as little as five or six hundred thousand yuan to as many as one million yuan, becoming the “three big mountains” for some rural married young people.
Some villagers gave reporters an estimate for how they spent over one million yuan: not to mention miscellaneous costs, the local county house price is about 4,000 yuan per square meter, a house with furnishings, home appliances, more than 600,000 yuan, buying a car nearly two One hundred thousand yuan, plus the dowry and the "three golds" (gold ring, gold necklace, gold earrings), etc., also cost one hundred and sixty thousand yuan.
Many villagers reported that the price of lottery has soared in recent years, from 10,000 to 20,000 yuan to the current 100,000 yuan.
In some areas of northern Shanxi, there are 152,800 yuan and 131,400 yuan for the beauties, which are homophonic "I want my family to send" and "forever."
In some rural areas of Yueyang City, Hunan Province, in the past, marriage only needed to build a new house in the village, and the construction cost was around 200,000 yuan.
In recent years, buying a house in county towns has become a “standard” trend, and some are even more demanding, with the purchase cost of more than 500,000 yuan.
Many villages have more men than women
An important reason for "not being able to marry" is "not being able to marry."
In many rural areas, married young people face the embarrassment of having more men than women.
Before the Spring Festival, 26-year-old Liu Xuan from Qianliulou Village, Dancheng County, Henan Province, returned to the village from other places. These days, he was busy dating.
Since the age of 19, Liu Xuanxiang has kissed more than a dozen times.
"We have to line up for boy blind dates here, and girls can choose blind dates," Liu Xuan said.
Liu Laili, the former party branch secretary of Liulou Village, said that there are more than 500 households in the village. There are 44 unmarried men aged 23 to 32, while there are only 32 unmarried girls of school age.
“The gift here is about 100,000 yuan. Those with parents who work outside can basically afford it. The economy is not a big problem.” Liu Laili said that the lack of girls is the main reason why most young men in the local rural areas have difficulty getting married.
The "China Statistical Yearbook 2020" released by the National Bureau of Statistics shows that by the end of 2019, the gender ratio of men and women in the country reached 104.46, of which, 30 to 34 years old was 101.28, 25 to 29 years old was 106.65, and 20 to 24 years old was 114.61. The age of 15 to 19 is 118.39.
Not only are there more men than women, but with the decline in age, the ratio of men to women has further expanded.
The party branch secretary of a village in Zhuzhou City, Hunan Province told reporters: “There are more than 30 older men and young men in the village. From the surrounding situation, the problem of more men and fewer women is becoming more and more obvious, and it is more difficult for young men in rural areas to get married. With intellectual and physical disabilities, it is difficult for a boy to find a partner, while it is easier for a girl to marry."
On the other hand, rapid urbanization has caused a large number of rural people to move into cities.
Compared with young men, it is easier for young women to stay in the city to get married.
The first secretary of a certain village in northern Shanxi said that in the past five or six years, eight or nine girls in the village have been married outside, but they have not married a wife from other places.
Urban girls are unwilling to "marry" in the countryside, but it is difficult for rural boys to marry in the city.
Many interviewees said that most of the rural young men who work outside of the country lack academic qualifications and skills, and it is difficult for them to "stand up" in the city.
In addition, with the development of informatization, communication methods such as "screen-to-screen" are also changing the traditional rural marriage introduction model.
In the past, rural marriages that relied on matchmakers are now more focused on individual communication. This gives rural youths more opportunities for love, but also makes some youths who are not good at communication appear more passive.
"Can't afford to marry" derivative series of problems
The reporter's interview found that the difficulty of marrying a wife has brought a series of impacts on rural social relations, and it has also generated some governance problems.
People in many rural areas have reported that marriage has become a heavy burden for many villagers, and has even become the main cause of debt and poverty for some rural families.
Some villagers said that saving money for their sons and wives is their “lifetime goal”, but the money saved by fathers and sons for years of hard work is often only enough to buy a house, and other expenses have to be borrowed.
Marriage costs are high, and it is easy to bury hidden dangers in the family relationship after marriage, which has a great impact on traditional moral concepts such as hard work and filial piety.
Many interviewees reported that many young people are now over-comparing and pursuing the best food and everything. For example, when they get married, they "get it in place in one step," buying a house requires the full price, buying a car in pursuit of quality, and even transferring debts to their elderly parents.
In some areas, the "remarriage" bride price is even higher than the "first marriage" bride price.
Reporters visited some rural areas in southern Hebei and found that the “second marriage” young women's beauties generally cost about 200,000 yuan after divorce.
The high cost of "remarriage" has led to the mentality of "dare not to leave" and "make do" in the man's family.
Changing customs, building nests and attracting phoenixes
Regarding the problem of rural male youths getting married, relevant experts suggest that various measures should be taken to change customs and reshape rural civilization; in the long run, it is necessary to face the deep-seated problems behind them and seek a permanent solution.
Tan Kejian, director of the Population Research Center of the Shanxi Academy of Social Sciences, said that it is necessary to further carry out the work of changing customs in rural areas, actively advocate new marriages and frugal marriages, establish a civilized and healthy new marriage customs, and reduce the masses’ dissatisfaction during weddings and funerals. Rational behavior.
Second, we must speed up the cultivation of rural social organizations and give full play to the role of farmers in self-education and management.
“Accelerate the cultivation of social organizations like the Red and White Council in rural areas, strengthen the construction of village regulations and folk agreements, restrict villagers’ behavior, and strengthen rural social governance.” said Wu Xiuming, deputy secretary general of the Shanxi Provincial Think Tank Development Association.
He Xuefeng, director of the China Rural Governance Research Center of Wuhan University, believes that the problem of rural male youths getting married is deeply rooted in social and economic reasons; if these deep-seated problems are not resolved, it is difficult to receive practical results only by prohibiting the collection of high-priced gifts. It is very possible to go from the front of the stage to behind the scenes, not even ruled out intensified.
Experts such as Wu Xiuming believe that solving the marriage problem of rural older men is a systematic project in social governance. It is necessary to combine the current rural revitalization strategy to form ideas and countermeasures as soon as possible, and take effective measures.
"From a long-term perspective, narrowing the gap between urban and rural areas and regions is the ultimate solution." Wu Xiuming said that there are many "leftover women" in cities and many "leftover men" in rural areas. We must combine rural revitalization work to vigorously develop the rural industrial economy and increase farmers' income. , To narrow the gap between urban and rural areas, and promote the two-way flow of urban and rural populations, so that urban young women do not regard the countryside as a daunting route.
In this process, the local government can also take appropriate measures to solve some gender "structural" problems as much as possible, such as training the "leftover men" in rural areas and "exporting" them to industries and regions where women are concentrated. The area "Meet the Magpie Bridge".