“Girls, why are you sitting?
Alena has arrived - you have dances.
Rapid, rapid, rapid! "
- 35-year-old Sveta urges her two daughters: 11-year-old Varya and seven-year-old Zlata.
Rapido means "fast" in Portuguese.
This language is the state language in Angola, which was a colony of Portugal 46 years ago.
After the dances, Varya and Zlata, who are homeschooled, will study Portuguese, then take a nap, and then together with their mother and two younger brothers will go swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, which is visible from the window of their room.
Going to the next level
Svetlana and Mikhail Epifanovskiy lived in the Kirov region.
Mikhail, an engineer by training, worked in a managerial position in one of the Russian companies.
In 2018, he was offered a higher position with the opportunity to move: either to the Far North, beyond the Arctic Circle, or to the west coast of Africa, to Angola.
At that time, Sveta was pregnant with her third child, and a few months before that, they took under guardianship from the orphanage of the boy Fedor, who was just over a year old.
“When my husband said about where we can move, I, of course, was at a loss.
Misha could have rejected both offers altogether, but we both understood that we had to move somewhere further.
We can't stay in one place for a long time - life becomes boring and monotonous.
It's very interesting to try yourself in a new place, ”says RT Sveta, straightening her long blond braid.
According to the woman, at first she and her husband tended to move north, but in the end they decided that they would move to Africa.
Working in an international company for Mikhail is a way to a new, higher level.
The Epifanovsky family: Mikhail, Sveta and their children Varya, Zlata, Fedor and Stavr.
© Photo from personal archive
“I began to read about Africa and Angola on the Internet and found nothing but negative: they wrote about terrible medicine, unknown diseases, including fevers, corruption and crime,” she recalls.
Mikhail left for Angola in 2018.
Sveta gave birth to a son in Moscow, and when he was 1.5 months old, in 2019 she moved with her children to her husband.
According to Sveta, everyone around her tried to persuade her to wait until the child was at least six months old, but she decided to move to her husband as early as possible, because “a family should be a family, and living at a distance is very difficult.”
"The police are asking for food"
According to Sveta, almost everything that was written about Angola on the Internet turned out to be true.
After the declaration of independence in 1975, a civil war broke out in the country, which lasted until 2002.
According to the Numbeo City and Country Living Standards Database, Angola is ranked 12th in the list of countries with the highest crime rates.
“The first thing that struck me when we arrived in the capital Luanda was people with military weapons on the street.
They guard cafes, shops and other establishments.
Most of the residential buildings here are surrounded by barbed wire or broken bottles to prevent thieves from getting in, ”Sveta says.
Not so long ago, according to Sveta, they tried to rob her when she was walking along the beach with her children and her husband.
“This scoundrel came up with a smile, saying something about the photo.
He rushed at me and tore off the chain with the cross.
I pulled out the chain, and my husband drove him away, we later found the cross in the sand.
In general, you cannot walk the streets with jewelry, a bag or a cell phone.
That year in Luanda there was a case when a Russian doctor came out of the bank, he was shot right on the doorstep, and the money was taken away, ”Sveta says.
© Photo from personal archive
According to her, at first all this was shocking and frightening, but over time she got used to many things.
If the Epifanovskys are going somewhere by car, then they know in advance that they will be stopped by the police in order to beg for a bribe.
“The white man will definitely be stopped.
Previously, the police found fault with every little thing, but now they do not even require documents from us, but immediately demand "gas", that is, money.
Once the policeman showed himself to his mouth, they say, "give me something to eat."
Sometimes we can give them a bottle of water or a sandwich.
I feel sorry for them, they’re standing in the heat all day, ”says the interlocutor.
To fight off a bribe, the spouses usually show with gestures that they do not speak Portuguese, and then the police, losing hope, release them to stop another car, where they will be understood.
The Epifanovskys live on the very edge of the cape, which overlooks the ocean.
Tramps and thieves do not often come here, so the area is considered relatively safe.
© Photo from personal archive
“It's really scary in the city center: people are sleeping right on the road, someone is eating on the ground, someone is poking around in the trash.
There is a terrible stench, because there are no toilets, people relieve themselves right on the street.
Recently we went to Byro - a district where people who have jobs live, and even there there is a depressing feeling: if those who have earnings live this way, how do unemployed people live?
Even locals are afraid to enter the beggars' districts, not to mention the "pale-faced", says Sveta.
"The child tried to seize the injury"
While we are talking, Sveta's youngest son wakes up.
The sleepy baby sits on her lap, yawns and lays on her breast.
Stavr is the fourth child in the family.
Sveta says that after the birth of her second daughter, she and her husband wanted more children, but pregnancy did not occur for five years.
Then the Epifanovskys decided to take the child from the orphanage.
So they found Fyodor.
Three weeks after Fyodor appeared in the family, she found out that she was pregnant, and a week later they ended their “honeymoon” with the boy - this is the name of the first period when complete idyll reigns between foster parents and the child.
A difficult adaptation began.
At the same time, Sveta's husband went on watch for a month.
Fedor on the Atlantic Ocean.
© Photo from personal archive
“I thought that if we take a very small child from an orphanage, he will quickly enter the family.
In fact, the sooner the parents abandon the child, the more tragic it is for him - he has no experience of communicating with mom and dad at all, ”says the interlocutor.
Fedor suffered from sleep disturbances, cried constantly and ate without stopping.
Sveta explains that for children from the orphanage, eating is almost the only way to experience joy.
“Fedor's injury was so deep that he tried to seize it.
When, during feeding, he heard that the spoon was knocking on the bottom of the plate, and realized that the food would soon be over, he would become hysterical.
He could eat until he vomited, ”explains Sveta.
During that period, according to her, she had no time at all either for herself or for older children.
When Sveta realized that she could no longer cope on her own, she turned to a psychologist.
“The specialist listened to me and said that first of all I should take care of myself and the child I am carrying, then about my husband, then about children, and only then about Fedor - his place is fourth.
These words proved to be healing for me.
After all, everyone around me before that said that Fedor should be loved more, hugged, kiss, he has an injury.
In general, when I tried to share a problem with acquaintances or girlfriends, I most often heard: "I could, and you can."
It is not customary in our country to feel sorry for women in our country, ”Sveta said.
It seems to her that Russian women are trying to carry a lot on their shoulders.
In Angola, she was surprised that in every family where there is an income, a housekeeper or nanny is hired to take on some of the worries.
© Photo from personal archive
“In Russia, it is customary for a woman to cope with the household, with children, and with work herself.
But it’s impossible to do everything.
Now I understand that I have forgotten myself, now I have children, a house, a husband in the foreground.
I would like to invest more in my own development, perhaps that's why I started growing tomatoes on my balcony, - the interlocutor laughs.
- But I understand that this is such a period, it is not forever.
Children will grow up instantly, and I will have time for myself.
In the meantime, I do more where I am needed more. "
Madrinha for Berta
A young black girl with short pigtails walks into the room.
This is Berta, she is 18 years old, and she has lived almost all her life in an orphanage at the local church.
There are virtually no state-owned orphanages in Angola.
Most shelters are run by private organizations or religious communities.
The pupil can live in a boarding school even after 18 years - until he receives an education and begins to earn a stable income for an independent life.
But even after that, he can count on support from the orphanage.
Sveta met Berta when she and her husband brought food and clothes to her orphanage.
The sisters from the church, where the boarding school is kept, offered a kind white woman to become a madrinha for Berta (from Portuguese madrinha - godmother).
Madrinha is not a sponsor who buys things or food for the pupil, but a mentor.
“The sisters explained to me that it was important for Berta to get to know my family so that she would know what it is.
Children who grew up in orphanages, it doesn't matter whether in Russia or Angola, have no idea how relations between spouses are built, how children should be raised - they leave the orphanage completely unsocialized.
Many local girls from orphanages, after giving birth to their own children, simply hand them over to the same orphanages, because they do not know what to do with them, ”Sveta says.
Bertha.
© Photo from personal archive
Berta sits on the sofa and obediently waits for the madrinha to finish the conversation and the lesson begins.
Although the girl is already 18 years old, she needs to study for three more years in order to complete the 12th grade of school.
Sveta is studying Russian with Berta, so that in the future the girl can continue her education in Russia.
In the orphanage she was assured that Berta was motivated and wanted to study herself, but in reality everything turned out to be not so rosy.
“We have been studying for the second month already, but we still cannot learn 10 letters of the Russian alphabet.
Berta seems to like it, but I don't see her eagerness: she comes to class with pleasure, reads something, yells, but she doesn't remember her homework at all, ”Sveta says.
She talks about Bertha's training on her blog.
Some users in the comments advise her "not to waste time and effort", and someone - just to help the girl get married and not suffer.
“Who knows now what is better for Berta: to get married or to go to get an education?
I want to try to show her that she can choose in life.
Maybe in a few years she will see what a family is, and for herself realizes whether she wants it or not, says Sveta.
- Of course, I am upset with such a slow progress, I expected more exhaust.
But on the other hand, these are expectations in my head.
Maybe the fact that Bertha needs to study at school for another three years is a sign that there is no need to rush as I originally planned.
So we will continue with her. "