To be or not to be?

That's the puzzle.

In his solitary conversation, Hamlet wondered how the fear of death made him a loud coward who accomplished nothing.

On the other hand, he did not dare to end his day.

Difficult situation!

Hamlet’s question can also be approached more literally, and then the answer is definitely “no”.

Namely, Yankee therapist Mel Schwarz instructs that the use of the verb to be should be avoided, because without it things look much brighter.

- Being a verb prevents new opportunities and change, Schwarz states in his Psychology Today blog.

Schwarz illustrates: "I'm stupid and void" sounds quite different than "I feel feel stupid and insignificant".

The first words would seem to be doomed to nullity for the rest of your life.

In the second, the situation is changeable.

According to Schwarz, words have meaning because they shape a person’s thinking and reality.

In particular, you should observe, I think of themselves negatively "I'm useless / boring / lazy / urpo" spirited and anchors the state of affairs be-verb.

That's when he hangs himself in the position of a victim, Schwarz thinks.

He thinks the words should be chosen carefully because they can even revolutionize their lives!

I feel that...

A new life without the verb to be?

Americans are always so exaggerated - or should I say that Americans often feel exaggerated!

Namely, non-verbal communication comes close to the self-initiated communication familiar from even Finnish couple therapists.

Self-communication is about not telling your partner that he is wrong but changing your approach and stating that “I feel like you are wrong”.

It would be even better, like Schwarz, to sway the verb to be and say that “I think differently about this”.

Oh that!

If there is no constructive consensus, then it is a miracle.

Interestingly, Schwarz manages to write his long column without a single be-verb-based, hanging static argument.

Is it easier to avoid the verb to be in English?


 The verb Be is so common that it is a bit empty.

If you can choose another verb that contains more info, the sentence becomes more interesting.

In Finnish, things seem quite impossible, if not downright impossible.

Sari Maamies from Kotus' language maintenance department states that it can be a different matter: the verb to be in Finland is involved in many structures that are formed differently in English.

For example, ownership is expressed using the verb to have when the English speakers use the verb to have.

The cultivation of the verb to be in between also tells about lazy thinking.

From a linguist’s point of view, it is worth replacing if you want more tones in your text.

- The verb Be has is so common that it is a bit empty.

If you can choose another verb that contains more info, the sentence becomes more interesting.

While there is nothing wrong with the verb to be in itself, it is necessary and functional, Maamies says.

It is so!

Schwarz gets to say what he wants, but sometimes the spouse is wrong and I just don’t feel like it.

The story was previously published on Me Naisten's website in June 2019.