In the program "Sans rendez-vous", Thursday on Europe 1, the psychoanalyst and sex therapist Catherine Blanc answered the question of a listener who, faced with the curiosity of his family as to his love situation, was forced to lie by pretending he was in a relationship.
This one wonders if he did well.
How to react to the pressure generated by intrusive questions from the family concerning their sentimental life? In the program Sans rendez-vous, Thursday on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responded to Simon who, faced with his parents' concerns about his love life, preferred to lie by inventing a romance.
Simon's question
On New Years Eve, my family asked me again if I had met anyone.
My parents are worried about me being alone, so I lied and told them I was in a relationship.
Did I do well?
Catherine Blanc's response
Often, it is because we lack topics for conversation, but also because we care about the other, about his well-being, about what we suppose to be happiness, couple constructions, family life, and it is commonplace that these questions are asked.
Families are happy to talk about it, but some are more intrusive and push.
Perhaps these are the ones that force the wrong answers.
There is a moment when the child lies to his parents to prove that he belongs to himself and does not belong to the father or the mother who wants to know everything about him.
If he lied, it is because it is painful for him to say "no, I have not met anyone".
Obviously, there must be the idea that for society a man is a man as soon as he is sexually active, and a woman as soon as she is sexually active.
On the other hand, what is curious is that we don't want our children to get into this too early, and once they are considered to be adults, they are supposed to be active and to demonstrate it by the life of couple.
It is up to us to have enough freedom and autonomy to say that is not yet the subject.
How to get by after lying?
We can always say that it has stopped, one lie leading to another.
It's silly to have to lie, but at the same time, it doesn't matter, it's the freedom to have the peace of your timing, because you don't have to be on the timing of the other .
On the other hand, children complain about parents' questions, but do not come with their subjects.
They wait for people to take an interest in them, while criticizing that the questions are not the right ones.
However, it is also up to the child, who has become an adult, to be able to tell his life story and what interests him, to foster family exchanges.
From there, you'll draw attention to a topic that you can talk about.