In "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc discusses the relationship to sex after a late divorce, and the ability to quickly let go of other partners.

A situation that tends to be easier for men or for the person causing the separation.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine yourself with another partner after years of marriage or living together.

Self-confidence is shaken, the body has changed and it becomes more difficult to be sexually released.

In "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc explains these difficulties often experienced by women and gives advice to better understand this new phase of life, using precisely the acquired maturity to aspire to new sexual adventures without complex.

Can a divorce, choose it or not, also be sexually liberating?

"Even if it becomes liberating, it's always difficult to break what we have built over the years. We have built a family and anyway, it's something complicated, whether we are the who undergoes it or the one who provokes it. So, obviously, sexuality will depend on whether one is the one who experiences it or the one who provokes it. Because the one who provokes it feels sufficiently armed and ambitious and may even already have a programmed elsewhere, unlike the one who undergoes it. Obviously, he only experiences loss with an idea of ​​devaluing himself and often of inner emptiness. So a somewhat depressive image of himself which does not necessarily fit into the sense of freedom of sexuality, of conquest again. "

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However, if we separate, something was wrong.

So why is it so hard to move on in these cases?

"Because first of all, when we separate, it is not because the relations are not going well. When we manage to leave, it is because we were able to eventually act that it was no longer possible. Simply, there is always one who thought it could still be, who was trying to get things back and who put a crazy energy into trying to fit the squares into the circles instead of ambition. something for yourself.

Because it's difficult to go out and conquer the world on your own, to demote financially, for example, to find yourself once again having to reconquer the world when from the point of view of society, one is conceived as already being a couple or already a family.

The idea of ​​late celibacy is always painful. "

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Does this sexual apprehension rather affect men or women?

"Often, men leave because they know they are already in another relationship. So they have no place, time to wander in a way, and question their worth as a man. because they are already on another adventure, or in any case, they are planning an adventure the next day.

Women can leave without having this echo, and not necessarily with an ambition to recreate a relationship.

And then, afterwards, they are confronted with their age, with the fear of not finding and of not finding, of not pleasing.

And even more, if it was not them who decided on the breakup and it was their husbands, in which case they feel a little worn out.

And they need to repair their narcissistic image to be able to aspire to sexuality and new adventures. "

How to regain self-confidence when, after years of living as a couple, the body may have changed?

"If we just listen to time and the effect of time on our bodies, it does not work out. That is a fact. So we could stay with the one who knew us young so that we can say that in any case he loved us, will always love us. It's a mistake. First of all, we often come forward, we fall asleep on our laurels from that point of view.

The reality is that life ambition, maturity, means that we have other things to offer than just a perfect envelope.

That doesn't mean you can't take care of it, of course.

But in any case, that's not the only thing.

You have great successes too.

Do not worry when a story comes to an end, it is also the opening of new possibilities.

But for that, it is obviously necessary to roll up the sleeves a little to restore the image and the look that one has on oneself and on life. "