How do you answer the fears of your children after suffering a serious illness?

Practicing parenting means working 24 full hours every day, providing your children with what they need according to their needs at every age;

You may play with him and chase him in the park when he is young, and you transport him and attend sporting events in which he participates in high school, organize annual birthday parties, prepare favorite foods, host friends, in addition to spending vacations and traveling to remote places.

What we do not imagine or expect is how to do all this while dealing with fatigue, pain, medication, staying in hospitals for a long time, and coping with chronic diseases all the time, so is it possible to practice good parenting while suffering from the disease?

Psychotherapist Katie Willard Ferrand - in an article on Psychology Today - answers this question with a yes, and says that regardless of our health, we are valuable to our children because we are simply their parents, we love them and have good feelings, just as things are What we cannot do is less important than the things we can actually do, such as responding to their feelings, caring for them, supporting them, enjoying the time we spend with them, as well as conveying our love to them in every way.

Jennifer Pringle wrote about her personal experience with motherhood and her cancer in an article on Healthline, saying, “My unexpected diagnosis of breast cancer has changed my life. I have heard words that no one wants to hear,” You have cancer, as a working mother. A small child, I did not have time for a serious illness, but cancer is not waiting for anyone's schedule, so I had to rearrange my life to focus on my health and my child. "

Pringle says that disease is an invisible enemy that invades our bodies and controls our lives before we even know it exists. It leaves you feeling lonely, isolated and in a surreal state. She wonders how she will reach the next day. However, she stresses that organizing her time and granting grandparents the right to care for her child and spend time With him, concern for her health and constant communication with others;

All this made her overcome this difficult stage.

The laparent site also provides some advice for parents with chronic illness on how to carry out their parental duties during this difficult period.

Practicing parenting means working 24 hours every day to provide your children with what they need according to their needs at every age (Shutterstock)

Increase emotional harmony

Many parents with chronic disease suffer from symptoms that limit their ability to perform the physical tasks of their children, and of course it is painful to disappoint our children, and not to convey to them our experiences in the life they yearn for.

However, it is very important that we talk to our children about what they miss, and the losses they suffer because of our illness, when we allow them to express their feelings, we create a space for intimacy, the child may burst into tears or get angry at his parents for not being able to do what he wants, but we have to Accept that and support it.

A sick parent might react by saying, "You're angry because I can't play hide and seek with you. It's really annoying to be stuck in my bed the whole time."

You here teach your child that he has the right to be angry, and you can also tell him, "I see that you are angry and disappointed, and I love you. You can talk to me whenever you want about these difficult feelings."

Flexibility is also essential, as parents with chronic diseases find ways to meet the needs of their children, parents can offer a different type of play to the child who wants a game that requires movement, or proposing an art project or reading a book or watching the child play, you can say, "I cannot run." With you today, but I can watch you run, show me how to run fast. "

Concerns must be dealt with

It may be frightening for a child to see a parent suffering from an illness, and one of the questions that children ask about is who will take care of them if their father dies or becomes incapacitated, and it is important to acknowledge this anxiety and the frightening feelings that accompany it, as well as provide sincere reassurance in them, such as saying, Ill, but I have excellent doctors and nurses who take care of me, tell me what worries you? ''

Katie Willard says explaining what the treatment plan is and the expected benefits in age-appropriate language can help children maintain confidence in their parents, and that they behave appropriately to solve a difficult problem. As for keeping children in the dark and not telling them the truth on the pretext that they are "too young to understand." The child is left alone with his fears and imaginations, which increases his anxiety.

Children may also worry about the possibility that they will suffer from the same disease as their father or their mother, and here also the need for sincere sympathy and reassurance appears with them, the sick parent may take advantage of the opportunity to confirm healthy behavior and say that “it is important that we take care of ourselves, and try to eat healthy foods, and get adequate intake. Sleep and exercise. "

Children may also imagine that they are the ones who caused their parents' illness, and children use this type of thinking in an attempt to control what cannot be controlled, which is the exacerbation of a parent's disease, and we can help our children by saying, "My disease is caused by cells in my body that do not work as they should," I didn't cause it, neither did you, sometimes things happen and we don't know why. ”

It is possible to allow close family members to care for a child when a parent is severely ill (Shutterstock)

Involving others in care

Having a network of relatives and friends present in a child's life is always important, but it takes an additional meaning when one of the parents suffers from a chronic disease, and family members can be allowed to care for the child when one of the parents is severely ill;

A child whose parents cannot play sports with him may have a relative or friend who can participate in playing soccer, for example.

It may be painful for one of the injured parents to see another person take care of his child and enjoy accompanying him and spending time with him, this is an understandable feeling, but remember that no one can replace you as a parent, while others can intervene and provide your child with important experiences in life, but they are not They will never be a substitute for you.