Zippert zaps: Mulled wine is dangerous. Especially in mutated form

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Mulled wine is currently the biggest pandemic driver, especially in its most dangerous form of mutation: Mulled wine-to-go-20.

Virologists had not expected this, but assumed that the glowing character of the liquid could render the viruses harmless.

But wherever the bubbling drink ends up in the bar, queues that stretch for miles form, in which distance does not matter.

Since people are frightened and exhale violently after the first sip, because the taste of the broth takes a lot of getting used to, dense aerosol clouds form in the vicinity of a mulled wine dispensing point, which you can almost cut with a knife if you have an aerosol cutting knife at hand.

In some cities, mulled wine can only be sold ice-cold, or it has to be inhaled through a mulled wine protective mask.

Hamburg is even planning a general ban on mulled wine.

Some restaurateurs have reacted and are now offering drinks that are safe for health, such as mulled martini or mulled champagne.