Shirley calls her father a castrator.
She says that the latter prevents her from going to settle in France and controls her money, when she is 47 years old.
At the microphone of "La Libre antenna", on Europe 1, Shirley asks Olivier Delacroix for advice to free himself from his father's yoke.
TESTIMONY
Shirley may be 47, but her father is in control of her life. She says that the latter prevents her from realizing her dream of settling in France. Shirley explains, in fact, wanting to start a new life away from him to escape his control. According to her, her father became all the more protective after the death of her mother, which occurred seven years ago. At the microphone of Olivier Delacroix, on "La Libre antenna" of Europe 1, Shirley evokes her tormented relationship with her father, whom she describes as a castrator.
>> Listen to Shirley's story in full here
"I live in Quebec. I am 47 years old. I have a father whom I would call a castrator, in the sense that he wants to control everything. Seven years ago, my mother passed away and I had a inheritance. My father has entrusted my inheritance to a trust. He gives me a thousand Canadian dollars a month. I want to get away, I want to leave. I want to move to France. My father says it doesn't make sense and block my projects.
Three weeks ago he came to my house and I told him how controlling I found him.
I even told him that he was a castrating father.
He would answer me: 'That's how it is.
I am an only child.
When I was younger he was not like that.
He left me free to move.
But I noticed that since the death of my mother, it is worse.
I have a visual handicap, I have one eye which cannot see at all and the other which barely sees at 10%.
He's probably scared.
He loves me, but he overprotects me.
"
It plunges me into anxiety and depression
"
My father is 72 years old.
He was born into a family of seven children.
My grandparents did not control their children, they let them be free to do as they wanted.
My dad traveled, he went to Mexico when he was a teenager.
My father was living his life.
My dream is to go to France, but he doesn't want to.
He thinks that doesn't make sense.
In my opinion, he is afraid that I will not be able to manage.
He always treated me like a child, instead of treating me like an adult.
I can't make decisions and take a step in front of the other without them being there and controlling me.
It's hard for me.
It plunges me into anxiety and depression.
I cry often.
I wonder if I'm the only one going through this.
My friends' fathers are not like that.
My cousins travel and make their living.
I don't know what my dad is afraid of, but he doesn't want to let me live.
Is it due to my visual impairment?
I do not know.
"
I'm afraid this will turn into a drama
"
My friends say to me, 'If it was me, I wouldn't do it like this.
I would talk to him. '
But even if I talk to him, he's stubborn and doesn't want to know anything.
It's been several times that I put the subject of France on the carpet, he does not even want to hear about it.
I spend my time crying.
I love my father, but I'm afraid that a fit of madness will take hold of me and that an unfortunate event will happen, that it will turn into a tragedy.
I have so had enough.
Going to France is a project that I have had for several years.
I dream of traveling.
It is first of all to get away from him and above all to start a new life, to have an apartment and a job.
I would also like to visit.
For my father, it's a categorical no.
It's unpleasant, but above all it hurts me and it hurts me.
I don't know how to get out of it.
I attempted a conversation, I tried to explain my point of view to him.
But my father tells me that my plans don't make sense.
>> Find Olivier Delacroix's Libre antenna in replay and podcast here
I don't know why he thinks like that.
You have to comply with his own idea.
It's no, and it's still no.
It's hard to live with a father like that.
The money he gives me comes from a trust.
It was placed, it is like that and it will remain like that.
I've never seen that, at 47, my father gives me money.
It's ridiculous.
For him, giving me money is a way to keep me under his control.
For him, it's like saying, 'I'm the boss and you're going to comply with my terms.'
I tell several people about it, but I have the impression that no one can really give me a solution.
It's unfortunate, but I know it won't change.
If I build my project without telling him and he notices it, it can put him in a terrible anger.
This is why sometimes I tell myself that it is better that I wait for his death to be able to make my life.
My father has always been in my life, so his opinion means a lot to me.
But at some point, at 47, it has to stop.
"