I would have summed up this fall’s First Dating at the Altar last week as still long-winded (as it were) and nonsensical, because almost nothing seems to be happening.
But after seeing the most recent episode, I realized that this season has actually yielded more than I thought.
The fact that little has happened between the couples throughout the season - no kisses or hugs have been seen - is due to the fact that there was no decent spark between them at any point.
It can also be identified by many viewers when looking for a relationship.
Matti even cried in the most recent episode of his disappointment that nothing had become of him and Mira because the relationship was too friendly.
Although she was the one who made the decision, she was just as disappointed as Mira.
Of course, many viewers may ask if that spark could have been helped a little by touching another more.
But if there is no attraction to one, it is often not added by touching it, because one may not even want to touch it.
The program prominently showed how difficult it is to form a relationship.
So many things have to come together, and it is not enough to have a perfect match on paper based on expert analysis.
Program participants are already adults with a clear vision of what they want or don’t want.
One’s own ways can also be difficult to be flexible and another can be difficult to understand.
Mere desire is not yet enough to make a relationship work.
Yes, most people had a desire for it.
For example, Emma desperately wanted a pair from him and Tuomas, but could not show it in the right way and was captured by her insecurities and fears.
They divorced as early as the middle of the season, and I think in the most recent episode, Thomas unleashed his disappointment in a completely wrong way - outright anger - at Emma.
She blamed Emma for not being ready for that program, but Emma had still passed all the expert tests.
Emma's uncertainty increased specifically with Tuomas, so it would be worth noting Tuomas as well.
Emma got to know Tuomas' disappointment that he could not find a partner he liked in the program. Photo: Konsta Vihavainen
Like Emma, the other women of the season have suffered from feelings of insecurity, and sometimes I wonder if the constant clinging to grievances and people’s differences is even a reason for couples to divorce: when things and relationships are constantly questioned and shared, interest eventually ends.
With positivity and attachment to the good side of the other when you often get better things done.
For example, Kati has rooted out the differences between her and Janne - maybe too much, and Janne is clearly tired and frustrated with Kati's threshing.
Mira has also often told Mati about grievances and the same topic that Kati Janne has to say: not speaking.
Judith, on the other hand, could be awarded the title of Most Positive Person of the Year: he has worked shoulder-to-shoulder — and far too much — to make Tommi like him even more.
Nor can it work for one to do clearly more work in front of the relationship than the other.
The Jews are still waiting to see if Tom would want to touch Judith. Photo: Konsta Vihavainen
The best gift of the season has been that the program has made visible the differences in communication between people.
Janne is a vagina for Kati, and she doesn't even have anything in her mind.
Kati needs a deep conversation partner, and Janne can't become like that if she's not.
Janne is clearly annoyed that she is hoped to be different.
Compromises must be made, of course, but one cannot begin to change oneself too much.
However, I fully understand Kat’s wish and sorrow.
Fortunately, Kati and Janne see the shortcomings of their relationship and - most importantly - they are both trying to work on the relationship. Photo: Konsta Vihavainen
The program shows a clear difference in how women and men communicate: women want to cut things through because otherwise they will feel insecure and insecure.
Men, on the other hand, can't or dare to work on things that they think are "ok".
They take the current situation (at least seemingly) casually, but may nut things in their own heads about which women have no knowledge.
The demise of women and the silence of men tend to feed the loss of a general sense of security in a relationship.
Women may also overinterpret silence and draw their own conclusions.
Therefore, the importance of a good conversational connection cannot be stressed enough.
Non-speaking leads to misunderstandings and bitterness, which is noticeable especially in both divorce couples.
Mira experiences injustice in Mati's communication, while Tuomas and Emma both interact with each other.
The difference between the two pairs has been quite controversial because communication hasn’t worked even when separated.
It’s a great pity, and I would have liked the experts to have helped the couples get better.
For example, Matti has handled her separation from Mira poorly, as she did not share her thoughts along the way and thus did not even give the relationship a chance.
For Mira, Mati's friendly feelings came as a complete surprise, as Matti hadn't even hinted at such feelings throughout the relationship.
Mira was disappointed with Mati's inability to speak. Photo: Konsta Vihavainen / MTV3
Finally, Mira wanted to find out things and share her own feelings and how she felt betrayed because Matti did not share her own feelings along the way.
Matti closed completely and said he was not going to apologize.
No apologies would have been needed here, but general empathy and taking responsibility for one’s own speech.
It’s quite understandable that a romantic spark and different plans for the future took them differently, but the difference could still have been dealt with by adult discussion.
At first, I thought that Kati, Emma, and Mira, even with a little searching, would look for grievances in their relationship and gain too much reassurance about the relationship, but the fact is, viewers can’t know what’s going on outside the cameras.
The fact that they have felt insecure often indicates that there is usually a reason for it as well.
For example, in the name of honesty, Matti could have shared his friendship feelings earlier, so that Mira would not have had more time to build joint plans for the future.
However, Mira sensed that not everything is fine - and intuition is often relied upon.
It’s straightforward to tell the other directly if the relationship isn’t progressing - even though the other is hurting.
However, it flips less time than leaving one to “hang” in so-called uncertainty.
Of course, it is difficult to admit that this is not going to be anything.
Especially when there are so many expectations loaded into the relationship and the relationship still becomes public on TV.
Even if viewers wanted it, there are not always happy endings - and that, too, must be accepted.
Maybe something much better is promised for each participant.
I hope so.
The first period of the first dates at the altar program on MTV3 on Tuesday 1.12.
at 9 p.m.