THE SEX QUESTION - Does the man still have to take the first step?

>> Paintings, books, plays, films ... In many cultural works endowed with a romance, man takes the first step.

So much so that in the collective imagination, it is indeed up to the man to go to a woman.

In fact, creating a sort of seduction parade in which the man proposes and the woman disposes.

But in a post #MeToo society, is it still up to the man to first reveal his interest and desire for a woman?

In "Sans Rendez-vous" on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc takes stock of this process which is often accompanied by a lump in the stomach, and whose outcome may be as joyful as it is devastating for the woman. ego and morale. 

What is a first step? 

This expression translates in reality several situations.

This may be when talking to each other for the first time of course, but also who will initiate a kiss, who will start to touch the other, or who will be at the origin of a sexual act.

Overall, we can say that a first step is to signify that we are interested in the other, that we have desire for him. 

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Has the first step become more difficult since the #MeToo wave? 

It is of course extremely complicated.

Quite naturally, we were on a "man proposes, woman disposes" basis.

This also allowed women not to reveal themselves too much in their desire and men to court them more or less elegantly.

But it is precisely on the notion of elegance that the problem rests in part.

Some women can hear something quite pleasant and exciting in a slightly wild sentence, while others quite rightly see it as an assault made on them.

So today the question arises for a man to be able to express his desire without being perceived as a pervert, and for a woman to be able to welcome him without having the feeling of being the prey of a ruthless hunter.

But the question is reversed if we imagine a world in which it is only women who take the first step.

Because we are never in the other's mind, so we never know what it means for a person to be solicited in terms of desire.

And this is the whole difficulty of the social debate on this notion of manifestation of desire.

Does man always have to take the first step?

No, of course.

Simply, he has the right to do it as a woman also has the possibility, without feeling illegitimate and improper.

Women are just as eager and are quite free to take the first step.

Whether it is the man or the woman, we must communicate with each other with elegance and respect. 

Why are we always afraid of taking a "rake"?

Our pride is always at the rendezvous of anything that can challenge us in our power.

And we love the idea of ​​being people of power.

It's just a matter of pride because in fact you don't die of it.

The no, we always have it in our pocket, so we might as well propose and risk a yes.