The popular belief which would like that one does not announce its pregnancy before three months would it be one of the causes of the taboo which remains on the stopped pregnancies?

This is what Marie-Hélène Lahaye thinks, jurist and whistleblower on obstetric violence, author of the book "Childbirth, women deserve better" (Éd. Michalon).

Since women have not made these pregnancies exist in the public sphere, it is then difficult to give legitimacy to the pain generated by their loss.

For her, it is also the patriarchal injunction "not to annoy society with the small problems of women, which tarnish the image of a smooth and efficient body" which poses a problem.

However, a study by the British Medical Journal conducted in 2017 found that 39% of women who experienced an early miscarriage present, three months later, symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

In France, the Agapa association, which supports women and couples who are victims of miscarriage, hosted a Focus team, which was able to attend a support group.

Sometimes violent medical care

For Annie K., one of the participants, this painful episode is first lived in silence, "an event put under the carpet" for many years, before realizing that it was a trauma.

But, for several other participants, like Ingrid, it was during the medical treatment that the suffering began.

A brutal announcement, words that hurt, followed by a painful curettage operation.

"At that point, I didn't feel. Only a big void."

She regrets that no psychological follow-up has been offered to her, and that the nursing staff are not better trained in the emotional and psychological support of women victims of arrested pregnancies.

This is also what Margaux T. deplores, who after her operation is placed in the recovery room next to an infant of a few minutes and his mother.

"It is a problem that births and stopped pregnancies are taken care of in the same place in hospitals. It is very violent for a woman who has just had a miscarriage to hear women giving birth, for example."

Awareness of the need to support these women is slowly emerging within the medical profession.

The Parisian perinatal health network offers training for nursing staff, as do some associations.

Repeated miscarriages

For Maud C. on the contrary, who was taken care of at the Franco-British hospital in Levallois-Perret and then at the Béclère hospital in Clamart, the accompaniment of the caregivers was a saving support in her obstacle course.

This mother of two children has lived through seven stopped pregnancies, without any scientific explanation ever shedding light on her case.

Auscultated, observed, watched, "I have the impression of having given my body to science", she recalls.

Although we now know that most pregnancies end for genetic reasons, this phenomenon remains very little studied.

Mourning

In France, we can officially register a first name in the family record book and organize a funeral if the fetus weighs more than 500 g or the termination of pregnancy occurs after the 20th week, as recommended by the WHO.

Between the 13th and the 21st week, this is an option.

If the parents do not wish it, it is the town hall which then organizes a collective cremation.

These measures were designed to help families mourn the loss of these children.

But for the participants of this support group, it is also important to allow those who experience early miscarriages to be able to experience a real grieving process.

"It is important for us to make them exist somewhere to mourn," abounds Maud J., who has chosen to place plaques with the first names of these children in the sanctuary of Sainte-Beaume, in the south of France.

At the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris, a stele has been dedicated to perinatal mourning so that families can meditate if they feel the need.

Giving a first name, wearing a bracelet or getting a tattoo, so many ways that families have found to keep track of these children.

But above all, it is a question of lifting the veil on this reality and breaking the taboo which seems crucial to allow us to rebuild ourselves.

It is with this in mind that Margaux T., who was already focusing on pre- and post-natal well-being with her company Rebirth, decided to create a discussion forum.

Sharing and making her story known is also Maud Jan-Ailleret's position.

After her pregnancies repeatedly stopped, she wrote a novel "Give me sons or I die" (Ed. Grasset), where she is inspired by her experience and that of other women victims of arrested pregnancies. collected the testimony.

It is also an opportunity to make these events more readable for the partners and families of women who are going through these ordeals.

Find below the full video of the support group

FR WB FOCUS EXTRA VIDEO FALSE LAYERS

54:38

The summary of the week

France 24 invites you to come back to the news that marked the week

I subscribe

Take international news everywhere with you!

Download the France 24 application

google-play-badge_FR