Vanesa Lorenzo.

Barcelona, ​​1977. After many years being one of the great Spanish models, she has changed the spotlight for letters and publishes

Grow Together

, her proposal to educate children based on yoga and positive discipline.

He convinces an unbeliever of the benefits for children of yoga and positive discipline - they are a super complementary philosophy and educational methodology. The two have common values: respect, coherence, common sense ... They are very general and not very tangible values, but very necessary for the growth of our children and, also, for ours as adults. With these issues it is difficult to distinguish what is science and what is smoke. Yes, it is true, that is why I have developed the book together with a yoga teacher and a child psychologist. Our education makes us doubt. Previous generations come from a behavioral education in which there is one person who commands and another who obeys. It is how we have grown. But I believe that, now more than ever, we need our children to have critical thinking and to be able to face a world that is going to be very different from ours, at work and in how we relate to each other. It is important that we do a review of how we educate them because another era is beginning and our children have different needs. What educational changes should we make? Just because we are children does not mean that they are stupid or that we have to lose respect for them. Positive discipline proposes three-way respect: towards the child, towards the adult and towards the situation in which one finds oneself. With which it is not a laxity that the child does what he wants and, as there are no prizes or punishments, anything goes. No. What is proposed is that the child also be part of the decision-making so that they do not obey, but have criteria to behave in one way or another. And then there is a very important point, which is to understand the neural development that the child is going through, to know what we can really expect from a four-year-old, a six-year-old, an eight-year-old and a ten-year-old. . Because that will help us face the challenge of a problem that could have happened from a much more respectful point of view. You cannot always reason with a child, that is also part of being a child. As soon as you see the child's behavior from another point of view, you solve it from another prism. If you see that when he has a tantrum it is part of his development, you understand that you should not cut that tantrum because he is in that process and it is not bad. If you understand that that child is not manipulating you, nor does he want to bitch you, your perspective is: "How can I help him manage that anger?" Positive discipline is a revision of the father and the mother, because it begins with your change of perspective that you can approach the child from another prism. If not, it is impossible. With your interest in education, do you seek to protect your daughters so that they have the conventional childhood that neither you, as a model since you were a child, nor your partner, Carles Puyol, as a footballer, could have? I had not thought about it and it is likely. But I think as a positive. My parents, when I went to Paris when I was 18 years old, they gave me such a big vote of confidence that I had to be responsible because I could not fail them, it is a lot of responsibility for someone so young and you have already been working as a model for years. a lot of responsibility. I went with an agency that answered for me, but in reality, when I lived in that tiny apartment in Paris, I was alone. It had to be an 18-year-old adult. I asked my mother to leave and she told me that she was not very funny, but that I was of legal age and could leave if I decided to. You also have to let your children make mistakes, in the last generations of parents I see a lot of overprotection and not so much nor so bald. Do you miss having had a more conventional childhood? It is true that I started making advertisements very young, but I enjoyed it so much ... My parents didn't let go of me, they were always with me: in the studios, on the set ... It is true that it was an atypical childhood, but wonderful. Then adolescence was more difficult. I missed things and now I really think I never had a group of friends when I was young. I missed all that and developed in a different way: traveling and ... the university of life, I suppose. That has many risks. It worked out well for me, but you are absolutely right because I remember when I was in New York, it that moved around, the lifestyle ... I resorted to yoga to avoid these dangers, which gave me discipline and order within chaos, nomadic life, anarchy and jet-lag. The bet went well for me, but I have had many friends around who deviated. Is the world of modeling as uncontrolled as it seems from the outside? It has its dangers. It is normal that it worries you as a father, it would also worry me. What happens is that, in my experience, people who chose to go towards bad habits of life used to agree that they came from unstructured families. Even though I was far from my parents, I had very strong ties with my family. And part of those bonds of trust was letting your daughter make mistakes and I'm here today. It is essential to convey to your children that you do not love them because they are

cracks

, but because they are your children and that is absolute and non-negotiable love.

If you do it wrong, I will help you try to do better. Are you worried that being the daughters of celebrities will distort reality? They are still too young to understand the concept of being a recognized person.

It is true that many times they ask why they ask for photos of daddy on the street and we try to lead him to a very tangible answer so that they understand it without giving it importance: "Because dad played soccer very well and this person loves soccer and makes illusion ".

For now the message is very simple, but I do not know in the future.

But more than that aspect, I still don't know how we are going to manage it, what worries me and I find it more difficult is how to educate them in abundance. That they understand that you have luxuries that are not normal. Exactly.

That they understand the privilege of having all the needs covered by living in a comfortable economy, although I believe that the abundance in children also occurs today in average economies.

I have not grown up with so many things and I did not lack anything.

This is really difficult and it is a challenge that I often ask myself that we have to manage. In the book you raise the problem of female mental load, that is, how the mother almost unconsciously assumes that the children are her responsibility and not the responsibility of the mother. father.

Isn't this changing very slowly.

I don't know why it costs us so much, but we have a lot left.

It will go on for a long time because it has been implanted in so many generations, so many years, that it is very difficult to erase.

Sometimes I think it is even in our genetics.

Look, I've even put it into a book and a thousand times I have to say to myself: "Vanesa, you're already doing the same thing again."

It is a problem for both mother and father.

It is internalized by both parties to think that the father is helping you with the children, we say it without even thinking about it.

"Help me with this".

How can you help me, if it's as much yours as it is mine?

What a horror and, furthermore, then you have to be grateful for it. It is an assumed cultural machismo. Yes and women and men suffer it.

Then there is a very interesting point and that is that it even occurs in homosexual couples with children, which is already fireworks, that is, so that we understand.

How is it possible that we have a sexist load so

heavy

that in a couple of two men there is one person who takes the role of mother and another that of father?

We do not know how to manage a home with equivalent roles.

We have to fix it.

It is a question of justice.

And that's it.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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