Does being in a relationship mean giving up masturbation?

For some people, knowing that your companion is indulging in this solitary pleasure can be badly lived.

The sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine addressed the issue on Thursday afternoon on Europe 1.

This is a question that can cause friction in a couple.

Can a man practice masturbation when he is in a relationship?

This impulse, which does not concern only these gentlemen, can be badly experienced by the companion or the companion.

The sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine broached this delicate subject Thursday afternoon in the program Sans Rendez-Vous on Europe 1.

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It's a funny question.

It is once again based on the idea that men have always irrepressible impulses, that their sexuality with their women allows them to satisfy some of it and that therefore there would be a kind of rise in power.

It would also be necessary to masturbate to try to ejaculate and thus remove this male drive pressure.

This is obviously a received idea.

Moreover, women also masturbate and not always to fill a lack of sexuality but just out of curiosity because their body belongs to them.

Of course, one could ask the question why does he masturbate, why it may be addicting for some.

But that's another question, it raises the question of the uneasiness of the man in question or the woman in question.

But otherwise we have the right to do good.

Do you have to hide it from your partner?

I do not have a precise answer to give because it is specific to each one.

It can be done in secret because we do not want to share it with the other, because by definition the fantasy of this masturbation only holds if there is no one else.

Some will put their masturbation in the context of the relationship and moreover will do violence to the partner who attends it when he does not wish to attend.

And then others know that we can indulge in masturbation but we do not comment on it since it only belongs to the one who experiences it.

Women can feel humiliated, right?

It is true that they are often very strongly humiliated.

They have the feeling that when their partner masturbates, he is leaning on someone other than her.

But this is not necessarily the case.

They may also think that it is a desire for elsewhere which awkwardly finds a space and that sooner or later it will look elsewhere.

But you can't reduce male masturbation to that at all.

There, it reflects above all 100% of female anxiety and therefore of her idea of ​​personal value.

From when can masturbation be a problem for a couple?

I like this expression that says 'masturbation makes you deaf'.

Obviously it does not make deaf, but it makes the other deaf.

From the moment I am no longer able to be in touch with the other or that I am no longer available because I masturbate a first time, a second time, a third time, there we are in an addiction and there that poses a real problem.

Masturbation in the office, for example, can it mean that we are addicted? 

If you can't concentrate on something, if you don't want to indulge in relationships with others and you are forced at some point to be referred to your desire, to your excitement, then yes you is in something that is out of balance.

But it is understandable that some women can be a little hurt or upset if they find out that their man is masturbating while watching pornography or thinking of someone else.

Of course, we can understand it all the more so if there is no sexuality between them.

So there is really the feeling of not having a role to play in that.

Now, does a woman always have to be miserable about not being the firefighter?

At one point, she may instead wonder about what is going on with her man.

Is the function of the wife to be the nurse or the firefighter of the insecurity or the fragility of the other?

I do not believe that.