THE SEX QUESTION - My boyfriend's dog is more important than me, I can't stand him anymore

The dog may well be Man's best friend, while at its limits.

This is what Keliana lives through, a listener who can no longer bear to see her partner's pet monopolizing his partner's love.

But for the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc, this situation can be linked to that of mothers who abandon their husbands in favor of a child who needs a lot of attention.

In "Without Rendezvous" this Thursday, the specialist therefore advises her to use this parallel in order to make this man aware of the discomfort she is experiencing. 

Keliana's question

I met a man that I like.

But small problem: his dog comes first.

It's crazy love that I don't really understand.

It's like a child and I'm really sick of it coming first and monopolizing our whole life.

What do you think ?

Should I tell him about it?

Or do I have to keep this to myself?

>> Find all of Sans rendez-vous in replay and podcast here

Catherine Blanc's response

I believe that this is exactly what also plays out in couples where there are children who draw attention to them in a major way, to the point of abandoning one of the two partners.

Generally, mothers leave husbands a little on the sidelines, so preoccupied with children who cannot be left.

Here it is more or less the same thing, except that it seems curious to us because it is a dog.

However, from an emotional point of view, it can be of the same order.

This dog is also his source of pleasure, perhaps also of security, since he created this special bond with this animal.

A bond so strong that he feels much more security than within the framework of the couple. 

Is it problematic that the partner takes a back seat?

She's not a dog, so she doesn't have to compare things.

But she lives in a relationship of rivalry, which perhaps raises the question of what she experienced as a child.

Did she have a brother, a sister?

How did she share her mother with her father?

These questions are important because from the moment we see the fusional side of a man with his dog, it allows us to understand how we cannot speak to each other.

Because if we weren't encumbered with our own worry about being in the background, we could simply say that we love this dog.

Should Keliana issue a "dog or me" ultimatum?

I think that first of all, she must first take stock of what bothers her in her companion's relationship with her dog.

Only then will she be able to go talk to him to tell him that it is necessary to manage to preserve a relationship in which the animal is not the guide.

Keliana can actually relate to a child by saying, "Just imagine for a moment if we had children together and I did the same. It would put our relationship at risk."

If he reacts well, he may find something to soften things up.

If he reacts badly, I think she will know that there is little room for her in this relationship.