This Friday in "Sans Rendez-vous", the sex therapist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responds to Allan, whose 4-year-old daughter plays "daddy and mum" with a little boy of her age.

A situation to which he does not know how to react. 

Is it normal for two 4 year olds to play "mom and dad", and should they be stopped if they are caught?

This is the question of Allan, father of a 4-year-old girl, whose friend has surprised his son and the latter playing in a bed.

He doesn't know how to react, or if he should worry.

For the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc, it is a completely normal situation at that age.

In "Without Rendezvous" this Friday, she specifies all the same that it is necessary to ensure that both are consenting.  

Allan's question

I have a friend who caught his 4 year old son in bed playing mommy and daddy with my same age daughter.

Should i be worried?

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Catherine Blanc's response

"No, it's completely normal. From the age of 3, the child is preoccupied with sexuality: his gender, his gender and what to do with it. It is also at this time that the sexual drive is awakened. The child is curious about this area that he can grind, cajole or even show off. And this is part of his games with his friends / girlfriends, regardless of sex because the idea is to sexuality. 

There is perhaps a border between showing off and faking the act.

Did he see it through certain images?

Not just pictures, if he lives in the countryside for example he sees him with animals.

It can also be seen through soft sensual scenes in the movies.

The child understands well what is his role under the duvet, even if he has not understood that there is penetration.

They are on top of each other and rub against each other, as they can with cushions for example.

And they can see that it triggers an excitement, a pleasure. 

So we should not worry?

No, but you still have to check that the two children Allan talks about wanted to play together and were not rushed.

It is also possible to discuss it with them, because at that age, they are not at all shy. 

From what age does modesty arrive? 

Towards the age of reason, therefore 6-7 years, he will gain in modesty.

And even if he continues to play mommy and daddy, he will feel a great deal of guilt.

And it is there also, if he is constrained in one way or another, that he is in the difficulty of his expression.

This is where we must be vigilant.

So no anguish, but let's still let the child express himself to know how far it is to go and if all goes well. "