THE PSYCHO QUESTION - Love has no age?

Is having a much younger or much older partner a problem?

In our society, couples with a large age difference are often judged negatively.

But an essential question remains: does love have no age?

The psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc answered it Thursday afternoon in the show Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1.

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Find all of Sans rendez-vous in replay and podcast here

When do we consider that there is a big difference in age? 

"Usually it's when there is a generation of difference, that is, when the person could be the parent of the other. It starts to talk as soon as there is a question of generation, for example 20 years or 18 years apart. There, we say to ourselves: 'she could be my daughter or he could be my son.' In the minds of people, there is something that flirts with the idea of ​​incest , which inevitably worries.

Is libido different when you are 20 years apart?

Or do we manage to get almost on the same pace?

Sexual desire is a surge of life that pursues us until the end of our days.

Desire always finds material for expression.

When two people are very strongly attracted, if they have not stopped at their age difference, it is to say how active their desire is.

But there is simply a life that is going to be a little shorter for one or the other.

There is a time when, indeed, there can be disorders because the one who was very young when the other was already mature will find himself with lots of impulses in his life.

The 30-year-olds, the 40-year-old, the 50-year-old are times when there are different things, which are questioned differently, where we ask for example the question of parenthood.

Then later we ask the question of his personal desire.

However, the other is not in the same rhythm, the same look at himself.

What makes a 50 year old man attracted to a 30 year old young woman?

We could say it in the same way that young women are very attracted to men older than themselves, for a story of maturity also no doubt.

For men, there is a will to live.

Sometimes there is frustration with women of the same age, wives who have settled into a friendship rather than a sexual relationship.

It is also finding a youth that idealizes them: a young woman sees in a mature man a Pygmalion, a man who is powerful.

Isn't it just because she falls in love with this man, and that's it?

Love is a complicated thing, you don't just fall in love.

We fall in love with a story, we fall in love with what the other evokes in our fantasy, in our imagination.

So obviously if I fall in love with a man who is all in muscles, I see his virility there.

But I also see in a man professionally accomplished his virility, even though he has fewer muscles, fewer tips of hair on his head.

In reality, we are looking for the power in the other, the power of life.

It is true of the young woman for the more mature man, but it is also true of the young man who sees the successful woman, the woman released in a woman older than him. "