Wednesday, in "Sans Rendez-vous" on Europe 1, the psychologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc responded to Elsa.

This listener fears for the sustainability of her couple because she wants children with her partner ... but is firmly opposed to this idea. 

Many couples make the birth of a child an accomplishment, an important and even defining stage in their life.

Others, on the other hand, do not feel the urge to give birth.

If the couple share the same vision, then all is well.

But what if one of the two partners is opposed to the idea of ​​having a child?

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Find all of Sans rendez-vous in replay and podcast here

Elsa's question

I have been in a relationship for 5 years with the one I consider the man of my life.

However, he is adamant that he does not want to have children, whereas I do.

I'm starting to doubt more and more the sustainability of our relationship, what do you think?

Catherine Blanc's response

It is a legitimate reason for quarrel.

However, Elsa says that her partner is "the man of her life" meaning that she sees in this man everything she loves and also a great parent.

It turns out that the sire does not intend to be sire.

So let's stop saying "this is the man of my life" or "this is the woman of my life" and let us face the facts: there are a lot of men and women in our life on the planet!

It is a matter of chance depending on the encounters we have.

Then let's also say that relationships evolve.

Anyone can go back on certain things or on certain decisions.

Finally, you have to know that to engage with someone is to risk not reaching your personal goal.

All this put together, the relationship can come to an end.

In the name of what a man should force himself to have children and in the same way, in the name of what Elsa should deprive herself of having children?

If there is coercion or renunciation within the couple, the relationship will deteriorate ...

Isn't it a matter of time?

One cannot know how categorical the "no" of Elsa's spouse is.

He may not be ready or think he is too young.

Or the birth and the definitive commitment that birth represents is something of anxiety for him and his point of view will not change.

There is only her and him who know how to situate themselves.