“I want you to know” Some people find it difficult to post

“I want you to know” Some people find it hard to post on September 30th, 20:33

A series of celebrity news stories are being heard on SNS every day.

Some touch the remaining family members and throw the words "why commit suicide."

But do you know that some people find it painful to see these reactions?

"I've always blamed myself for not being a lifeline for my parents."

These are the voices of those who lost their families to suicide.

(Network News Department Reporter Naoko Okubo Takumi Deguchi)

“Knowing that some people blame themselves”

"I would be grateful if you could find out that some children blame themselves for not being the lifeline of their parents." Noboru Takachi

, an actor who lost his mother to suicide at the age of 17, posted on SNS.

The post has received a lot of feedback.

Kochi-san's series of posts

"I'm a self-defeated orphan, and it's hardest to see" Why did you have a child? "That's what I wanted to know the most. I believed. When I was closed, I couldn't reach what people around me said to me. It was this year when I was 55 that I thought I was loved too. "

Kochi-san's series of posts

"I died in my bag, but now I believe that he took good care of me and loved me until the end. Even if that wasn't true, the orphan was dead. I forgave myself because I felt that way from the bottom of my heart. I would be grateful if you could know that some children blame me for not being the lifeline of my parents. "

How did you feel behind the post?

When I talked to Mr. Kochi directly, he said, "I didn't think it was a person."

Noboru Takachi

"I always blamed myself for not being a lifeline for my parents. I closed my heart to the feeling that I wasn't loved or that I shouldn't have been there. I had been feeling sick for a long time. I was supported by my colleagues around me, and with the help I was able to reconsider my relationship with my mother, but I couldn't think of it as a person, and my current feelings. Posted in "

In his post, Kochi also sends a message to the people around him.

"When a person encounters an event that he or she cannot understand, he or she tends to conclude by imagining that he or she wants to understand it. I think it's important to put the practice into your own mind. It may be a practice that puts the life of the remaining family first. "

Noboru Takachi "It

's

hard to hear a story that decides the cause without permission. Anyway, I want you to leave it alone. That's all. So that the parties can ask for help on their own. I want you to help me when I become

A voice of empathy that spreads

Many comments have been received on the Internet, sympathizing with people who have had similar experiences.

"I really understand. My dad died on his own. I was depressed that neither my wife nor my child was a reason to keep him, but I think that's not the case these days. "

I'm also a deceased child. Even though I was there, I was thinking" why? "And chose" because of myself ". It's been over 13 years and it's still there. I can't wipe my feelings, but now I can understand the feelings that I would have suffered a

lot. "" I have a lot of sympathies. "I have a child ..." "I feel sorry for my deceased child ..." How much do you gouge the wounds on the side that was left behind? "

" I had the same experience, but I have the same opinion. I didn't like being said to be pitiful. I still think about what kind of feelings I had and died myself No one knows. "

Tips for supporting children who blame themselves

How should the surroundings support the children who blame themselves?

The hint was given by the Ashinaga Ikueikai, which has been providing mental care for children who have died from their parents for many years.

We provide financial support by lending scholarships to high school and university students who have lost their parents due to illness, disaster, or suicide.

For more than 20 years, Masahiro Nishida, General Manager of the Mental Care Division, has been involved in support mainly for elementary and junior high school students.

According to Mr. Nishida, many of the deceased children continued to wonder, "Why did they die themselves?" "What caused them?" "Why didn't they notice?" "Why did they stop if they spoke to them at that time?" He says he blames his parents for his death.

In a questionnaire survey conducted by the Ikueikai on high school students who lost their parents to suicide in 2001, 30% of the 95 respondents answered that "the death of their parents was their fault" and "the mother who was left behind" Thirty percent of the children thought that they might die.

In addition, there are cases where the public is urged not to talk about parental suicide, and the psychological burden is said to be greater.

"Ashinaga Ikueikai" Director Masahiro Nishida

"Not only do we blame ourselves, but some children are oppressed because they say,'Don't say that your parents died.'"

It is a kind of violence to talk about the cause by speculation

Recently, there are some posts on the net that talk about the cause of suicide.

But Nishida points out that these words are a kind of violence for children who have lost their parents.

"Ashinaga Ikueikai" Director Masahiro Nishida

"When I listened to the stories of the children, the parents who died by themselves had their own condition and suffering to the last minute, and did not want to bother their families, so they had troubles alone. It seems that people often die because, even if there is a suicide note, the words written in it are not all, and there are not a few people who can accurately convey the reason for their death. It feels like a kind of violence to spread the "view", "prediction" and "interpretation" of the cause while the family and even the person himself do not know the cause of the death. "

And it is important to watch over as usual.

"Ashinaga Ikueikai" Director Masahiro Nishida

"I have seen children with the same experience and thoughts gather and share pain and emotions, and slowly change little by little. Through the same relationships, I realized that it is important to spend time without applying labels and prejudices. It is also important to continue to convey information such as the parties that can express your feelings. It is also important to keep communicating information at your own timing. It is also necessary for society to watch over so that they can participate in such activities. "

"I want you to leave it alone"

Now that we have an environment in which we can easily express various opinions, it may be that the posts we wrote casually hurt people.

The words of Mr. Kochi, who spoke to me during the interview, left a lasting impression on me.

"'I want you to leave it alone', that's all. I want the parties to help me when they come to ask for help."

We felt that we had to keep that message in mind.

For those who have troubles Information on the consultation desk

The Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare is calling on people in need to use the consultation desk.

The website of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare provides contact information for telephone consultations by local governments and the QR code of consultation counters provided by multiple NPOs on SNS.

You can search by "Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare SNS".

Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare website "Mamorouyo Kokoro" https://www.mhlw.go.jp/mamorouyokokoro/

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