This Tuesday in "Sans Rendez-vous", Catherine Blanc responds to Anaëlle, a mother who thinks that her 13-year-old son is watching porn and does not know how to react.
For the sexologist and psychoanalyst, it is necessary to demonstrate pedagogy and make her understand that this has nothing to do with reality.
It is accessed in a few clicks with disconcerting ease. In our society where internet screens are everywhere, including in our pockets, accessing pornography has never been easier, even for a 13 year old boy. This is also the problem of Anaëlle, who thinks that her son watches this kind of films and does not know if she should let him. In "Sans Rendez-vous" this Tuesday, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc advises him to show pedagogy by explaining to him that porn is very different from reality.
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Anaëlle's question
"I have a 13 year old son who I suspect of watching porn. My husband seems to say it's natural at his age but it bothers me a bit: I think he's a bit young and that this gives him a reductive vision of sexuality. There are no feelings, it's a bit of butchery, they are actors… Should we let it happen? "
Catherine Blanc's response
"In our time, it is difficult for parents to control access to pornography because of smartphones. Rather than forbidding it, I believe that we must show pedagogy since this young man will be confronted sooner or later The father of this young man is right when he argues that it is natural to be interested in these things at 13. On the other hand, it is not normal to watch porn in order to construct oneself sexually because it is is not a representation of reality.
This young man, like others, watch this kind of films to see how the penetration technically works, but they find themselves confronted with things which do not correspond to reality like the duration, the pleasure, the relational attitude ... So much so that porn can become a polluting model for their future sex life.
What if we catch our teenager watching porn?
You have to explain to them that they are actors and that this is not the reality.
But beware the goal is not that the vision of naked bodies is reprehensible.
What is problematic is the reduction of the sexual relation to a simple physical urge.
And that's what you have to be able to tell the child to help him understand that he will not have a performance to play when he discovers sexuality himself.
Otherwise, he will obviously be put in a situation of failure in the face of what he is looking at, this model which has nothing real. "