Laure reconnected with her son after three years of silence: "The confinement calmed me"

TESTIMONY

A year ago, Laure called on Olivier Delacroix.

It had been three years since her son had cut ties with her, deciding to live with his father when he was eleven years old.

Laure then made a suicide attempt.

Today, she is better and has reconnected with her son who is now fourteen years old.

They went on vacation together this summer and were able to discuss the reasons for their distance.

At the microphone of "La Libre antenna", on Europe 1, Laure says that the confinement allowed her to calm down.  

>> Listen to Laure's testimony in full here

"We spoke a year ago. At that time I was in the bottom of the hole. I'm a mom to a boy who is now 14 years old. When I called you, I had been divorced from his daddy since three years. My son and I had always been very close. He was eleven at the time. We separated with his dad in September. He spent Christmas with him. When he came back, Antoine gave me said he didn't want to live with me anymore. 

I made the mistake of taking too many pills to forget.

I was hospitalized.

I was completely detached from my son.

He cut ties with me and blocked my phone number.

I was devastated because I didn't understand.

It was very brutal.

I was depressed.

I felt lost.

I clicked when I learned that in China there was a virus that they could not cure.

Sounds silly, but I've always been afraid of viruses.

Then there was the announcement of confinement. 

I completely skipped my antidepressant treatment

This period of confinement forced me to come face to face with myself.

It allowed me to calm down.

At the same time, I felt guilty about my relatives who cared about me because they knew I was alone.

I had the coronavirus in a mild way.

I completely skipped my antidepressant treatment.

I weaned at home.

I was not well for two weeks.

I regained feelings that I had lost from the medication.

I went back to writing lists of things I wanted to do. 

I continued to write to Antoine every week, even though I had no response.

I lived it more serenely by telling myself that it was very important that Antoine be assured that I was there for him.

I took care of my health so that my parents could be reassured.

At the time of the deconfinement, in May, Antoine contacted me.

He said to me: "Mom, I found the voice you had when I was a child. That's it, you're better."

It was the prettiest thing he could say to me.

It gave me back confidence. 

My suicide attempt had traumatized him

He wanted us to meet for lunch at noon.

What we did.

It went very well.

I didn't ask why there was this silence, although I knew my suicide attempt had upset him.

Then, Antoine called me regularly and he wanted us to spend a month of vacation together.

I was delighted.

We went to Tours to fill up on nature.

It was really good.

Antoine shared with me what he liked, his musical tastes.

He made me discover his little world.

When we both met at home, I asked him why the silence, if it was related to my suicide attempt.

He told me it had traumatized him.

For him, that meant I didn't want to see him again.

I could tell he was embarrassed.

He was very embarrassed about the behavior he had had with me and my parents.

I told him that we couldn't go back on what was done.

What matters is to experience things in the present, that we are well together and that we manage to say things serenely.

>> Find Olivier Delacroix's Libre antenna in replay and podcast here

Finding the truth is less important than finding your serenity.

I got lost a lot, I lost a lot of energy and I used up those I loved a lot by wanting to seek the truth.

I calmed down by finding my serenity.

You also have to learn to take care of yourself and to breathe.

I found great comfort in relaxation therapy and meditation. "