Chinanews Client Beijing, September 8th (Lang Lang) "The bride price is controlled within 10,000 yuan, the wedding banquet does not exceed 10 tables, and the wedding car does not exceed 6..." Because of the marriage customs reform advocated, recently, Shandong Yi Shui County was drawn into the spotlight.
Netizens have different opinions on this, some people support it, and there are many voices of doubt. "The pain of the bride price" has once again become the focus of public opinion.
When young men and women talk about marriage, when one hundred yuan bills are said to be two things, is this kind of marriage stronger than gold, or love business?
The picture shows the true love declaration wall in the Marriage Registration Hall in Chengguan District, Lanzhou City.
Photo by Cui Lin (not related to graphics and text)
Marriage Customs Reform in Small County in Shandong:
Is the 10,000 yuan limit set for the betrothal overcorrection?
This reform of marriage customs in Yishui County, Shandong has been pushed to the forefront of public opinion.
The local government has made clear requirements from the aspects of wedding format and wedding standard.
It is recommended that the bride price is not required or required less, and the bride price is controlled within 10,000 yuan; the wedding car does not exceed 6; the wedding banquet can only invite immediate family members, and the scale does not exceed 10 tables.
The staff of Yishui County government explained that the purpose of reforming marriage customs is to reduce the burden on the masses and not to materialize marriage.
"Long drought meets the sweet rain, encountering old friends in other homes, wedding nights in the bridal chamber, and inscriptions on the gold list", these are the four happy events in life in the eyes of the Chinese.
Among them, the "Buddle Night" is not only a happy event, but also a major event. In the eyes of many people, marriage is even the second life of a person. The discussion about it has never stopped, and any topic about marriage and love is often the most socially controversial.
Data map.
Photo by China News Agency reporter Zhang Yao
The poorer the more important, who makes marriage a business?
The reform of marriage customs in Yishui has attracted the support of many netizens, who believe that this will help curb the unhealthy trend of "highly-priced gifts".
Especially in rural areas, in order to save face, the "lizi" is lost, and the betrothal gifts that follow the market and follow the trend make some families miserable, and even become poor and return to poverty due to marriage.
"Wan Zi (10,000 5 yuan banknotes) Qianhong (1,000 hundred yuan banknotes) and one green (a few 50 yuan banknotes)", "three catties (weight of a hundred yuan banknote)", these are all popular gifts among the folks As the saying goes, but behind these simple sentences are heavy real gold and silver.
According to these statements, young people need to prepare about 100,000 to 150,000 yuan just for wedding gifts.
According to data from the National Bureau of Statistics, the per capita disposable income of rural residents nationwide was 16,021 yuan in 2019, and the “pain” caused by the bride price is obvious.
Netizen comment screenshot
In some areas, there is a saying that "the poorer the more you want", it means that the poorer the man's family, the more the gift will be given, which can be regarded as a "guarantee" for the woman.
"It's not easy to get rid of poverty, and it's even more difficult to be well-off; to tie a good relationship is ruined." This chanting describes such a helpless reality.
Excessive beauties not only increase the financial burden on the family, but may also lead to tragedies. Similar news is not uncommon.
In March 2018, a 20-year-old working in Lu'an, Anhui Province, because he couldn't afford the 300,000 gift from his girlfriend's house, he cut his wrists and committed suicide in a hotel after drinking.
In February 2017, the old man Chen used his life savings to buy a wedding house for his son in the city in Anyang, Henan, and prepared a gift of 110,000 yuan, and owed more than 200,000 foreign debts.
On the wedding night, the young couple had a fierce dispute over the gift money, and the bridegroom beat the bride to death...
The tragedy caused by the bride price is embarrassing. Even if you pass the bride price and barely get married, economic and psychological pressure will inevitably dilute the joy of moving towards a new life.
Photo by Yang Qun (not related to graphic and text)
Wedding gift, the "pre-compensation" of marriage to women?
However, some netizens believe that although the starting point of the initiative is good, it cannot be "one size fits all" and restricted by uniform standards.
Others believe that the reason why the bride price has become a folk custom that has been passed down through the ages must be reasonable.
Their logic is: Don't ask for a betrothal gift, or ask for too little, which will make the man feel that it is too easy to marry himself. Who will feed the bait fish?
The woman will worry that she will not be taken seriously after marriage.
Netizen comment screenshot
Many people hold the view: Although they are now advocating equality between men and women, in marriage, in terms of social division of labor and family roles, there are still differences between men and women.
Women not only have to go out to work to bear family expenses, but also have to conceive and have children, take care of the family, and even sacrifice their own careers for this; if the man files for divorce, then women will have to pay for the family’s financial, fertility, labor and other aspects. Become a "empty".
The existence of the bride price can make up for this loss to a certain extent.
Economist Xue Zhaofeng said that marriage is a social phenomenon and an economic act.
He explained the role of the bride price in this way: Because the time point of the man and woman's role is late and early, one party does sowing and fertilization, and the other party is responsible for harvesting.
The person in charge of harvesting is more likely to knock on the stick of the person who paid earlier, so the man is required to give a mortgage. If there is a problem in the marriage, he can make a bottom line.
Moreover, with the development of the economy and changes in concepts, more and more parents will choose to use the bride price as a financial aid to the small family. Although the man gave the bride price, the money will eventually be used in the small family.
So what is unreasonable is not the gift itself, but the unrealistic standard of the gift.
Data map.
Photo by China News Agency reporter Yang Bo (not related to graphic and text)
Let marrying a daughter-in-law is no longer an economic account
Social topics related to the bride price have been discussed for many years, but there is often no answer that can convince all parties. The pain of the bride price that some families face seems to be an unsolvable issue.
The starting point of the Yishui County Government’s initiative is good. It advocates changing customs and opposing comparisons.
However, in the process of implementation, the local government should pay attention to the methods and methods, and make recommendations. The most important thing is to let the public see the risks and hidden dangers behind the sky-high price gifts and treat marriages rationally.
It is undeniable that today, as the process of urbanization is accelerating, there are certain differences between urban and rural areas, but only by proceeding from the actual situation, correctly viewing this difference and improving the rural economic and social environment, can we create conditions for curbing the pain of the bride price. .
In addition, it is necessary to protect women's rights and let the concept of "equality between men and women" take root in the rural land, so that women can get rid of the predicament of being objectified, and then balance the ratio of men to women from the aspect of population structure.
In the eyes of many people, it is unrealistic to solve the chronic social problem of "highly-priced gifts" in a short period of time. It is necessary to make efforts in terms of policies, concepts, and economics. Only with this economic account can the new fashion of civilized weddings become popular.
(Finish)