What do you remember about the sex education of your youth? Did the teacher slip a condom over the banana and illustrate heterosexual by inserting a finger into the hole formed by the thumb and forefinger?
Do not worry! Sex education has made great strides in recent years.
Sanni Sadetuuli Saarinen, a subject teacher in health education, a Finnish influencer and a member of Instagram's Science community, talks about what every woman should know about sex at the latest as an adult. Sex education is now close to Saarinen's heart, although the enlightenment he received at the beginning of the 21st century was in keeping with his spirit.
- In my own school days, sex education was intercourse-focused, and there was little talk about emotions or pleasure in health education classes. In teaching, sex formed a very mechanical image.
Sexuality is important for well-being. That is why Saarinen is happy that sex education is being increased all the time.
Health education classes show not only condoms and artificial penises, but also oral sex protectors, models of a woman’s clitoris, and picture cards that concretely show what all sex can be. And young people are no longer laughed at, but the teacher is asked directly about, for example, how to masturbate.
Such could be a modern adult sex education class:
1. Our sex always repeats the same pattern and ends when, after receiving, the man sighs and turns his side. What to do?
Sexual education has long revolved around contraception and intercourse. That’s why many adults even think that sex ends when both - or at least a man - is triggered. Saarinen likes to shake this idea.
- Both really don't necessarily get an orgasm, but it doesn't have to be the purpose of sex either.
So sex could be thought of more broadly than just intercourse, and not to set it as a goal every time. Surprisingly, you can find that you enjoy sex more.
2. Is it weird to think about pvc overalls, betrayal and my mother’s female guy during sex?
Many wonder if their own sex-related desires and preferences are normal. Saarinen assures that everything is allowed, as long as it does not infringe on others and respects the rights of others. For example, everyone has the right to their own fantasies, the right to be seen as themselves and the right to decide what and how to tell about their sexuality. Respecting the sexual rights of others also means not seeking to define the sexuality of another for that purpose. Instead, you get to define yourself exactly as you want, and want exactly what you want.
Thus, sexuality has no limits if they are not set. If sexual roles and thoughts within one’s head are never questioned, they affect behavior. Each of us embraces perceptions of our environment, what is normal and what is not. Above all, Saarinen encourages talking and questioning.
- Emotions and talking should be understood as an important part of sexuality. Even though there is more talk about sex all the time, it can be difficult for people in their thirties to say their feelings and tell what feels good and what doesn’t. Some people don’t know how to talk about sex even with a long-term partner, so strong is the idea that talking about sex is embarrassing.
3. I'm 45 and worried about the dwindling of my desires - whether to get an orgasm yet changed a few years?
It's just. Saarinen urges the rejection of the idea that sex and sexuality are just a matter of reproductive age, so to speak.
- Sexual needs are needs where, for example, sleep and food needs. They manifest in different ways at different ages and at different stages of life, but they still always exist.
So it’s not worth thinking that sexuality only begins in adolescence or ends in menopause. If the environment does not allow us to understand otherwise, one considers sexuality to be a common thing.
- For young children, sexuality is natural. Parents can make it a disgrace if they are unable to deal with their own distorted thoughts.
4. It’s hard to enjoy when I try to pull my stomach in and prevent another from seeing cellulites. Do you have to settle for sex in the dark?
Many are still wondering if it is valid as it is. Naturally, the perception of our body also affects the sex life. Saarinen urges you to think about where your own body image came from and who influenced it. How have parents commented on appearance and body, and how have partners treated it?
- It is worth thinking about why you think so about yourself and whether your body image is real.
The more impassively you can relate to your own body, the easier it is to get there. It’s best to be neutral about your own body: be aware of its best aspects, but also realistically see the points you don’t like - and accept them as part of yourself. Fortunately, body positivity can be developed quite easily.
- Watching body-friendly content on social media can increase respect for your own body. You should also ask your loved ones what it is like in their eyes. Others often see a lot of that precious and beautiful that is hard to spot for themselves. It has not been in our culture to say the good sides of others out loud, but it is worth learning.
Attitudes toward oneself often become gentler with age. After adolescence, the biggest upheavals in body image are typically pregnancy and childbirth, after which many learn to respect their bodies - even if the previous ideal body escapes farther.
5. The partner is about the wrong place. How to guide another without feeling incompetent?
When Saarinen asked his Instagram followers which sex-related issues are still not talked about enough, the woman's enjoyment came to the fore. Women may still not see it as an important part of a functioning sex life. Many want to please their partner and make sure the other enjoys it. You should dare to talk about things that seem embarrassing, but you may not want to have a discussion during sex.
- Your own enjoyment should be appreciated! There should be more talk about female sexuality and pleasure in general.
6. I would like to, but my favorite set and chips are of more interest again. Where's the problem?
In Saarinen's opinion, it is a good thing that there is more talk about sexuality. However, it is often forgotten that sexuality and desire vary over a person’s life. Sex cannot be through life in a similar role.
- Many people feel reluctant, but for everyone it is not a problem. It is also normal that you are not terribly interested in sex or do not want to be open and experimental.
However, if reluctance bothers you, you might want to think about the reasons for it. You should feel free to tell your partner about your own wishes and feelings. You can also feel your own desires through different touches and fantasies.
- If reluctance bothers you, you should feel free to seek help from, for example, sexual therapy alone or with a partner.
This is an article by We Women. You can read the original story on the Me Women page.
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