I have to write to you because I am almost blowing my skin again just now. My friend and I divided up the household as follows: He does the vacuuming, I do the rest. I know that this is not the best distribution - but I am not writing to you about it, Ella. The reason I long for your answer is this: My friend cannot vacuum.
If you watch him doing his weekly house cleaning, it looks like he has an ultra-flexible vacuum cleaner that attracts the dust magnetically and whose mere presence does the job. When my friend is vacuuming, he casually walks through our 49-square-meter apartment. When I vacuum, I crawl around on all fours, constantly plugging and unplugging the floor nozzle to get anywhere, and turning around on my own axis several times. Vacuuming me takes three times as long as he does. IT'S ALSO THREE TIMES AS CLEAN FOR ME.
Dear Ella, once again, after secretly sucking behind his back, I am sitting in the apartment frustrated and have no idea how I can teach him what I want in a non-violent way - in such a way that he does it too! Do you know how I can do that?
Your cleaning fairy
PS: I hate vacuuming!
Dear cleaning fairy,
We could let your friend wipe the question off to warm up, because it has been in my mailbox for months. Unfortunately the column could not appear for a while due to Corona; but now it's finally starting again. And what could be more natural than to start with a topic that is extremely urgent in times of threatening domestic quarantines?
As for the matter, I am caught between two stools, in a place that your friend would not suck because he would be too lazy to move her to one side while cleaning. At home I fluctuate between phases of impressive neglect and phases in which I use cotton swabs to pull dirt out of the corners of the drawer. I had to google the term "floor nozzle"; I do not have one, but two flowers for the housewife. Google that.
From my point of view, you have three options. One costs money, one mental strength and the third self-conquest. Sequentially.
A colleague of mine swears by his robot hoover. I toyed with the idea of buying one myself - not because clean floors are overly important to me, but because my colleague simply raves about it (kettlebell is pre-ordered, Francesco). If I understand correctly, the device the size of a frisbee disk drives quietly through the apartment and does its job fairly reliably, provided that the way has been cleared beforehand. It is not cheap, but in your case it could contribute more to the satisfaction of the couple than a holiday together, which will be canceled for many this year anyway.