“I don’t like it when people point a finger at me on the street and say“ mom-courier ”- I’m tired of that. When I do my usual work, I will be like everyone else. Of course, it is great to stand out among everyone else, but definitely not because you are working in delivery with two children, ”says 19-year-old Lada, hugging her thin knees.

We are sitting in the kitchen of an apartment on the fifth floor of the Moscow "Khrushchev" building. Lada is wearing a branded green polo shirt from the delivery company, although the girl has not worked as a courier for several weeks. Now her main goal is to find money to pay for a rented room, baby diapers and food.

A year ago, during another interview, Lada said that she liked delivery, and compared this work with a walk with a child, for which "they also pay money." Then she, together with her peer husband, moved to Moscow, and then found out that she was pregnant again. Working as a courier in the capital with two small children has become too difficult.

Lada decided to divorce her husband, although now this issue is in limbo - the court did not divorce the couple due to the quarantine that had begun. According to the girl, the young husband is not yet able to take responsibility for the family: “I already have two children, why should I live with my husband if he cannot provide for me or the children — he is still a child himself.”

Now Lada is trying to clean the apartments - she finds clients herself, but there are still too few of them to completely abandon the delivery.

“In recent weeks, there have been no cleaning orders, and I have to pay for the room on August 5,” says the RT girl. - I got a job in a flower stall, I am on duty there at night. A friend of mine agreed to take her daughters to her for the night so that they would sleep at her place while I was at work. My schedule is - the night after three days, on the first day after the work night I am, of course, sluggish - I want to sleep. "

Despite the difficulties, Lada firmly decided to leave her job as a courier - she does not want her two-year-old and eight-month-old daughter to deliver orders with her: “I don’t want children to work from birth”.

"If you accept help with money, you will be judged"

After Lada became known on the network, people began to write to her with offers to help with things, toys and money. The girl herself several times published videos in which, with tears in her eyes, she spoke about her difficult situation and asked for help to feed her children. But over time, more and more offensive comments began to flow to the girl, and people who at first felt sorry for her began to suspect of fraud.

“One woman first gave me a pack of diapers, then watched a TV show with me and demanded to return the gift. I transferred money to her card, - says Lada. - In general, life has taught that you need to accept help only in the form of work. If you accept help with money, you will be condemned, they will say that you are a fraud. What is fraud? That I have two children and I work? Now, if I didn’t work or invent diseases for children, it’s a fraud. ”

Now the girl talks about it calmly, but before she could cry if they wrote to her in personal messages that she was a liar and a beggar.

"Some wrote:" These are not your children, you do not work in delivery. " I used to get upset, but now it makes no difference to me, I always write in response: “Please come to Moscow, look who I am and who I work. Not a single hater has agreed yet, ”says the interlocutor.

Lada was repeatedly asked why her parents, who remained in her native Rostov-on-Don, did not help her. Parents divorced when she was a young child, both have new families and children. Lada came to Rostov when a self-isolation regime was introduced in Moscow, and lived in a one-room apartment with her daughters, mother, younger sister and stepfather. A few weeks later, she began to rent a separate room, because "it was too close to live with two families."

Lada almost does not communicate with her father, according to her confession, it was like this almost all her life. I ask if she is offended that she and her father were never close.

“Yes, God bless him,” she dismisses and immediately recalls. - Although, to be honest, at school I envied other children whom their parents took from school by car. I always walked back from school or took the bus. That is why I passed my license as soon as I turned 18. Someday I will pick up my daughters from school. "

"We must become a friend to children"

Lada gave birth to her first child when she was 17. A year before, she met her future husband via the Internet. According to her, the first pregnancy was planned and she was not at all afraid.

“From my childhood I imagined that at the age of 30 I would be a young mother and my child would be my friend - I saw examples of other families before me. True, before I always imagined that I would have one son, ”smiles Lada. At this time, the youngest daughter wakes up in the next room and begins to cry, Lada periodically goes into the room to calm her down.  

She and her husband learned about the second pregnancy after moving to Moscow. According to Lada, there were no thoughts about an abortion. 

“It's a child, killing a living thing is a sin, it doesn't matter if it's a human or an animal,” she says. - Sometimes young girls think differently, but then at 40 they come to the doctor, cry and beg for help. They regret that they had an abortion in their youth, they say that their son or daughter would now be 20 years old, and so they are alone and can no longer have anyone. The gynecologist told me about this, ”she says.

The girl admits that it is not always easy for her with children. For example, the youngest daughter cries if her mother is not around, and only calms down in her arms.

“Now it's difficult with children, and then they will grow up and will take care of me too, although it may be selfish to say so,” Lada is embarrassed. - For example, I cleaned one mother's apartment, and she was resting on the couch, and her four-year-old baby brought her a piece of sausage. I also imagine that I will lie down and one of the girls will bring me tea. "

I notice that this idyll can end in adolescence, when children can begin to argue with their parents and move away from them. For example, Lada herself ran away from home to Moscow.

“When your children are 13-15 years old, it’s better that I don’t want to become their friend. Yes, it will be hard, but then the child will not run away from home, he will trust you and listen, - says the young mother. - I remember that my mother promised me for several years that we would go to Moscow, but she never did. At the age of 15 I had to go there myself - I wanted to visit any other place except the Krasnodar Territory and the Rostov Region. "   

Now Lada wants to go with her children to any body of water in the city where you can swim - it is sometimes hot in Moscow and even the wide open windows of the room do not save. And she also has a dream - to go to the sea. In childhood, together with their mother, they rested in Gelendzhik.

“When the girls grow up and become independent, I will tell them:“ Children, bye, I'm at sea! ” - Lada laughs.

She is a little embarrassed, but still says: “I really really want to go to the sea. I remember it most of all as a child. "