It is a widespread fear among many men: the "blow of the breakdown". Erection problems are, however, "inevitable", according to doctor Damien Mascret, columnist in the program "Sans rendez-vous" on Europe 1. But even if this phenomenon can happen to any man, it is not neither dramatic in itself, nor is it inevitable.
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“Yes, it's inevitable. A lot of men unfortunately stick with the erection pattern they had when they were teenagers: something automatic, very firm and durable. It's the ideal pattern, though. one can say, but it is a fantasy. It lasts a certain time, obviously, but it induces above all what is called 'the pressure of performance'. There is a received idea which circulates as well among men as among women, according to which the erection is ultimately the faithful thermometer of arousal, but that is not the case.
We can very well have a lot of excitement without having an erection. And conversely, we can also have quite reasonable erections while the excitement is not very important. So we must abandon this idea. Above all, we must move on to another received idea, the one that is compared to the erection of the teenager, is called 'the erection of maturity'.
So it's a more common problem among seniors?
Already, to be more precise, we are talking about seniors from the age of 60. But erection problems depend on people. In any case, the erection is less spontaneous, that's for sure. It is also slower to obtain. It is more fluctuating. I'll come back to that in a moment. Basically, it's less predictable. But what is certain is that where indeed, when we are young, a certain mental excitement is enough for the erection to be triggered, when we are older, we will indeed need direct physical stimulation. , that the penis is stimulated so that the erection is triggered.
However these are diagrams, there may be counter examples. But what is certain is that if we work with this idea, this pressure of performance, we will increase our anxiety. However, we know very well that the more anxiety increases, the more it will slow down the erection. So that is obviously not a good solution. It is often at this time that men, of course, go to consult.
For those who accept what I would call 'penis autonomy', that is to say that the penis does what it wants and that the erection is fluctuating, it goes much better.
Because yes, if you have mental arousal or physical stimulation that drops below a certain threshold, something physiological is happening. There is a kind of internal tourniquet in the penis when it is erect, but when it goes below a certain stiffness, this tourniquet can suddenly be lifted and the man can lose his erection. Conversely, if there is pressure in the penis, which is very important at the start and the erection is very firm, even if the excitement decreases a little or because we change position, it does not. will not reach this threshold and you will not lose your erection. But most often, indeed, men lose at the time of these fluctuations.
What can be done in the event of a breakdown?
First, you have to accept this idea that the erection fluctuates. This is valid for both partners. And then, we must also ask ourselves what is expected of the sexual act. Because if one or the other is indeed expecting a performative model with a powerful erection, it is considered that the important thing in the sexual relationship is the penetration.
Well there, we will have to work on what we call 'role plays', 'inversion games'. We often say to the man: 'what if it is your wife who suddenly tells you that it is getting painful? What are you doing ? Are you sure you want to continue or will you move on? ' Do the same: relax on that side. Remember that sexuality is a team game for adults, we work together.
Are there any drugs that promote erection?
In some cases, medication may be used. But it is especially interesting when the performance pressure is particularly high. Because indeed, we are going to remove this anxiety that I was talking about and which is a brake on erection. But it does not trigger the erection. Some believe that these drugs trigger the erection, when in reality, they are just delaying the return to fluidity of the penis after erection, as long as they are not going to initiate the erection, but simply delay loss of erection.
Some people feel when they test these drugs that they are the initiators and that they trigger their erection. But that's not the case, it's just a placebo effect because they are no longer anxious about not having an erection, about not satisfying their partner. This performative scheme, which I condemn a little bit, will be lifted. This is why the erection will come on more easily. "