TESTIMONY
Fifteen years ago, Christiane lost her husband who committed suicide. Her husband was her mainstay and since her death, she has lost a taste for life. Now she is afraid to go out of her house and is no longer interested in anything. She says it is her two animals that keep her alive. At the microphone of "La Libre antenne" on Europe 1, Christiane confides in Olivier Delacroix her grief which has lasted for fifteen years.
>> Listen to Christiane's testimony in full here
"I am 76 years old. I made my life. I expect nothing more. I have two animals that keep me alive. I would like to leave after them because they are used to me. My husband is gone fifteen years ago. It was my crutch. It had a very high place for me. I am very negative. I am always afraid to go out. People scare me. When I go out, I can't wait to get home quickly to find myself at home. I'm at home. I force myself for everything. When I have to go somewhere, I get sick of it in advance.
" I look forward to leaving this world "I find the days long. I look forward to leaving this world, while being annoyed because of my animals. Nothing interests me anymore. I have had no smell or taste for ten years. It left little by little. I'm told it's in the head. I consulted a psychiatrist for fifteen years when my husband left. It felt good to speak. Only my husband was missing, so I felt like annoying others when I talked about it, it didn't interest them.
I have children. They come to see me a little, but they are tired of seeing that I am not well since their father left. I'm off. I don't have the same zest for life that I had when my husband was there. We did a lot of things, I had friends. I do not have anything. My childhood friends have gone far. They say I am negative. I admit it, I'm not gay. On Sunday, I go to my sister's house. We talk about things and others, but now she is losing her immediate memory.
>> Find Olivier Delacroix's Free Antenna in replay and podcast here
It doesn't interest me to see my children. I've been like this since my husband left in 2003. He committed suicide. I felt responsible. He was so nice, he never said no to anyone. I haven't talked enough, I haven't done the right thing. I questioned myself. When I redo the film, I see everything in black. I only saw through my husband. My husband counted more than my children. I've done everything in my life, now nothing tells me. "