- You started as a DJ on the radio?
- Yes, in Tver on “Our Radio”. In my childhood I had two dreams: either to become a philosopher, or an actress. After the 11th grade, I did not enter either philosophy or the acting department.
- And why?
- I didn’t get points. Even you know, perhaps, I will tell you frankly now. I was going to enter a theater institute and was seriously preparing for it. I had a friend, my good friend, Alexei Markov. Actor, actor, director. He studied at the gymnasium, and I at the lyceum, we met at KVN. I always thought: “What a talented Alexey.” I don’t have enough talent, but I really wanted to.
I was preparing to enter the theater and at the last moment did not go to the exam. I thought that I have no moral right to enter the acting, because I have not enough talent. You cannot take the place of others.
As a result, she went to the history department of Tver State University (then she graduated from RUDN University, studied Arabic studies and philosophy). As soon as I arrived, I thought that I needed an audience in order to somehow be realized. I had a need to tell people something. I began to think, like what. And it happens sometimes, when we think about something seriously and for a long time, a mosaic begins to take shape.
I studied for several months in the first year of the Faculty of History, I come home, turn on the radio, there is an announcement in the spirit: “If you speak well and you have a pleasant voice, then you need to be a DJ. Come and take part in the competition. ” When I heard this announcement, honestly, my heart was beating and my hands were shaking. There is a feeling when something is yours, but you did not wait, and you understand that now this is your chance and it is stupid and scary to miss it. It is urgent to do something and at the same time to do it scary. I wrote down my shaking hands the phone number to call, they told me: "Come."
There were three stages of the competition. First, you just had to sign up, tell something about yourself, read the text, then something else, then there was an internship in a broadcast studio. Four were selected for it, and two people should have remained. It was generally a tin. I don’t understand how it turned out that the general director Konstantin Sokolov took me.
I once found a cassette in the country with a recording of my first broadcast. She listened and, frankly, I don’t understand how they took me. It was a horror. I am very grateful to Konstantin Sokolov for taking me on Our Radio.
It was hard labor. In Tver, trolleybuses run from 6 in the morning, and I had hours from 6 to 7. I went by a passing train, which went around 4:40. She made a tricky stop and arrived in 10 minutes. And to get up for this it was necessary at 3:30.
At the same time, I studied at the university. In short - a tough man. But I really wanted this ... My mother twisted her finger at the temple, but apparently understood why and why I was doing it.
The studio was located on the territory of the car-building plant, because there was the highest pipe in the city on which the transmitter stood. And below - the trailer-radio studio of Our Radio. There was no toilet. If you wanted out of need, then you had to go to the next workshop with men who, like the men at the factory, were glued over with naked aunts from magazines.
- How long have you stood in this mode?
- Two years. When I entered Moscow University, I continued to work on weekends on Our Radio in Tver so as not to lose my job on the radio. Periodically fell into a major depression, life was seven days a week. I did not have any student and party youth. I sometimes feel sorry for myself right away. On the other hand, I think that maybe it’s not just that the Lord ruled everything. I did not know any loose parties, discos, drunken parties.
I always worked. When it came to Silver Rain, the same story continued. For a person of a humanitarian warehouse, two mathematicians, two logic on Monday after you worked on Silver Rain on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, eight-hour broadcasts are hell. But there is something to remember.
- Didn’t want to leave?
- There was a feeling that all life was a swamp of gray or black. There are no prospects and everything will be as it is now and nothing will change. There is no joy in life, it is not clear why.
Honestly, I wanted to disappear. You do not see the point. This is usually the case from fatigue and lack of sleep. But I never wanted to quit.
It was a paradox. On the one hand, I wanted to disappear, on the other, I realized that I would never give up.
- Then after working on the radio, did you ever have a similar feeling?
“It happens all the time, but not to that extent.” The last time was in the midst of self-isolation. Suddenly his hands fell, and there was a clear feeling that the world was rolling in tartarara. We are losing everything. And never will be the same. I do not want to live in this terrible world that we are offered. I would not want my children and grandchildren to live in such a world.
- © @ Shafran.Anna
- What kind of world are you talking about?
- We understand that in fact there is a serious confrontation between the opposing forces. One wants to consolidate the established order of things, promotes the idea of digitizing the world and enslaves us all.
I do not like the world of Orwell, because there is no God in it.
The man in him is absolutely completely and totally under control.
“And what kind of power moves us toward the world of Orwell?”
- These are world financial elites, in whose hands very powerful resources are concentrated, who would like to consolidate this state of affairs forever in their favor.
We understand that a hundred years have passed since the beginning of the twentieth century, and we are at about the same point. We see that the world is unfair, redistribution is carried out unfairly. There should no longer be hungry and poor countries. Hunger today is a political thing. Only political and nothing more. In reality, mankind today has all the resources and capabilities to close all social problems. But they do not close as a result of political things.
By the way, the question of when was the last time I felt depressed. It was March-April, bad weather, a real hassle. Gray sky, no blue glimmer, no ray of sunshine. Everything is in the clouds, slush, decadent mood. All are closed according to their minks, deprived of the opportunity to interact, communicate. We are informed that "Everything is bad, it will be even worse." We must limit ourselves in our freedom. We must accept that it is good and right.
The virus does not mean that we must deprive humanity of freedom. There were a lot of viruses. This is not a reason to close the whole world in apartments. If you listen to what normal, real, academic, and not politicized doctors say, they then said and now say that mortality does not exceed mortality from ordinary flu.
Now in Italy there is a scandal at the parliament level over the trial of how many deaths have been attributed to the coronavirus. There is some catch here. It is impossible not to notice.
We understand that we are in a situation where something is not right as they tell us. It is impossible not to notice the thinking person. *
Then there are two options: either you give up, and you come to terms with the fact that you can’t do anything and stay to live in this world and think about how to be. Do not give birth to children so that they do not continue to exist in this miserable world of Orwell? Go to the catacombs, partisans?
Another option is if you do not want to put up with it. You begin to write friends who also think. At this moment, the awareness of "who, if not us?" In fact, everything is in our hands. What is the difference between an angel and a man? An angel does not have free will. A person can act by virtue of his ideas about what is needed and not needed. With all the minuses and complexities of our earthly life in this biological body, we have an advantage. We can act.
As a result of all conversations and reflection, I came to the conclusion that we have no right not to act.
Now the world is in a state of “before” and “after”. What will happen after is up to us.
If we do nothing, we will not have the moral right to complain. I want to have such a moral right if something suddenly goes wrong. I am convinced that victory will be ours. Now I understand that we are the absolute majority. In such critical moments, when we make a choice for ourselves, we identify ourselves in the same way, where we are and with whom.
I tell you frankly, I haven’t told anyone about this. In the last twilight period, mystically, I felt so bad that my body got off the couch, there was no order in my brain, but my body got up, went into the bedroom and went to the icons. I picked up the prayer book and read the prayer rule. I read it in the morning, in the afternoon somehow let me go, by evening I was already cheerful, full of strength, energy and understood that we had to act and victory would be ours. We are with God, and God is with us.
I am now acting for the glory of God. I try to fulfill the prayer rule, morning and evening. Of course it doesn’t always work out.
In my prayer rule, I also pray in my own words. I ask the Lord to give me the opportunity to work for the glory of God. When you act for the glory of God, everything changes. All doubts go somewhere on the one hundred fifty-fourth plan. This is a radically different feeling in space.
I am grateful to this pandemic, self-isolation, quarantine. If not for them, I would not have come to the super-comfortable state in which I am now. The world will be different, it is changing now. The Lord sent quarantine so that everyone makes a choice for themselves, so that something finally changes.
- Did you ever feel that God left you?
- Never. Fair. I had a feeling that I was behaving badly and resorting to God only when I needed help and intercession. And when it’s good, I don’t serve him as I should. That's why I reproach myself. I do not want this to sound like boasting, but now I am trying to make sure that everything is for the glory of God, and it strengthens me very much.
- There was a moment when you vividly felt that God was near?
- I had a few such moments. Frankly, I have been worried about God since childhood. About the age of five, I thought about it for sure. I remember I had a great-grandmother Dunya, an icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary hung in our room. When I looked at her, it seemed to me that there was something very important, a secret that I wanted to fall into. I asked my grandmother what it was. She was telling.
Our windows overlooked the field and the river. I went out on the field, looked at the sky and thought maybe there are angels there. I did not want to doubt that God is.
I myself began to go to the temple. Nobody drove me there. When she matured, she began to skip classes, leaving for the temple.
Because no one there would definitely not notice me. I wanted to consider myself involved in what was happening there.
I remember the episode when I left the temple, it was a summer sunny day, I looked up at the sky and experienced such a feeling of grace, indescribable. I think many experienced this feeling when you feel yourself completely part of the universe and are in absolute love for everything. It is literally a couple of moments. When you once experienced this, you understand what all this is about and what you should strive for.
“Have you ever thought of leaving the nun?”
- I thought. I was interested in spiritual issues at school, and I was very interested in the world of ancient philosophy. My heroine was Aspazia. She was a powerful, bright woman with intellectual abilities. She had a philosophical salon where all the best minds of our time gathered around her. I really liked it. The synergy of intelligence, philosophy and eroticism, when everything is subtly intertwined ... It gives rise to sacredness, of which one wants to be a part. I have my own program “Strategy”, where I discuss political, philosophical issues with guests. It seems to me - this is my philosophical salon. But, as you understand, this intellectual, philosophical, erotic theme is poorly combined with spirituality, religion and monasticism.
I had a clear decision in the 11th grade: “If I do not enter the university, it will be a shame for me and my family. I cannot survive this shame, and I will go to the monastery. ” But I entered the history faculty and did not go to the monastery.
- Still to come.
- Hardly. One must have a very strong will to be a monk or nun. This is not for me at the moment. Too radical choice.
- What do you lack in life now?
- A new world, a new configuration, on a more equitable basis.
The economic benefits that we once put at the forefront lead to a false result.
At some point, we stopped being ashamed of greed, the desire to make money. This has come into use. In general, it’s not very decent to ask, “How much do you earn?” It seems to me, on an intuitive level, we feel that it’s not very decent to say “Subscribe, like.”
There is no ideal world and cannot be, but we must strive to make our everyday existence more enjoyable.
The world that I would like to, on the path to which we are now, does not imply a thirst for celebrity and fame. It involves calm constructive human communication.
It seems to me that the time of clip thinking and short videos is leaving. People have already eaten up this, as in 2000 people ate glamor. People are already ready for larger forms and more serious conversation. What matters is not quantity, but quality.
I would like us to prioritize serving God. It is impossible to receive the welfare of the world if you serve the golden calf. Whatever the beautiful words disguised, in any case, the choice is always worth it: either the golden calf or God. Either God or Satan.
- © @ Shafran.Anna
“Have you ever chosen a calf?”
- Probably not. If you serve the golden calf, then inevitably you become his slave. You take money for something and say something you don’t believe in, voice thoughts that you don’t share. This leads to self-destruction. You lose the most valuable thing - freedom.
- Have you ever exchanged freedom for money?
- No, thank God. I hope I don’t have that choice. As soon as you take the wrong money, at the same moment the whole structure that you yourself asked God for and wanted to be destroyed.
Strength in truth and selfless service. Ignore everyone who will smile ironically at these words. Their time is running out.
- It’s easy to talk about such things to people who don’t need to think about a piece of bread for tomorrow.
- I understand and agree with you. Thank God, I didn’t have to be in such situations yet, but I keep in mind the thought that it may be necessary to sweep the floors and wash the toilets. Because in the seventeenth year, too few people expected that this could happen, and then the philosophical ships left. Someone was everything, but suddenly became nothing.
“Would you board?”
“Of course, I would have stayed here.” This is my country, the land of my ancestors. My grandfathers fought during the Great Patriotic War. We simply have no right. Otherwise, why?
Human life is very short. There is not much time left to fix something.
I now have a lot of questions that need to be addressed. I need funds, but I can’t take everything. If I take the money of people whom I do not respect, with whom there are radically opposing views on fundamental issues, then how will I live then?
“When was the last time you were ashamed?”
- I have a project that I’ve been doing for several years with my friend Svetlana Dragan “One Step Ahead,” a geopolitical forecast. When I talked six months ago with my colleague, Sergei Kornievsky, he asked me about friends and I did not voice Sveta's name. I don’t know why, it seemed to me that this was innermost. And people began to write about it to her. Probably she was unpleasant at that moment when people were arrogant: “She didn’t name you, she doesn’t consider her friend!” I am very ashamed that I brought such unpleasant experiences to my girlfriend.
- By the way, how does astrology combine with faith in God?
- When the son of God was born, the first who came to worship him were the wise men who saw him by the star that appeared in the sky. I look at it that way.
- If you could take an annual vacation and do something - what would it be?
- I would very much like to go to the village, very far away, into the wilderness, so that it looks like those paintings that Konchalovsky reproduced in the film "Uncle Vanya." A beautiful estate, shabby, old, somewhere the paint peeled off, somewhere the door squinted, but it has such a spirit of history, prayer ... On the river bank, the Central Russian landscape, somewhere the willow squinted over the river ... It's quiet, there is no endless heresy, no news, no information chewing gum that we grind every day. There is absolute peace and peace, which could be reflected in the world of the soul.
I also love Italy. This is just a miracle of miracles. I have been to the cities of forty or fifty. I travel to Italy very often, I have seen a lot of cities and provinces. In general, we are in unequal conditions. This is a monstrous injustice. There is a man who was born in a remote settlement, where the fence squinted, the shabby Khrushchev and the industrial landscape all around. And there is a man who was born in Florence or in Bologna. He walks the streets like a museum, the windows are cozy, shops. They have it in the blood. They absorb all this beauty with mother’s milk. It is paradoxical, but our land gave birth to Lomonosov, Korolev, Tsiolkovsky and many others. Therefore, it is not clear which is better.
From the point of view, Italians were more fortunate, even due to the fact that they didn’t have as much destruction as they did in Russia during World War II. I adore Italy, it improves the mood, even one thought about Italy immediately inspires.
- Do you want a house there?
“Well, it would be nice,” I used to think so. But now we have amendments to the constitution - the nationalization of the elites. A very necessary process is necessary, because we lived with a colonial constitution. I really didn’t like it. Our hands are absolutely tied, we ourselves tied them with a ninety-third year constitution, dictated by American advisers.
Now we are finally taking the first step towards the liberation and strengthening of real sovereignty.
You can go to Italy for several weeks, months, but without a house. You can rent a house there, and in Russia you can have such a manor as Konchalovsky’s in Uncle Van.
- What do you say to your son when he asks about the meaning of life?
“He doesn't ask me yet.” Boys, as I understand it, these are not girls. They grow up later. I was completely different at twelve. He is still a child. We, of course, are talking about this from my submission. I consistently systematically explain that the future of man is in his intellect and creativity. It is impossible to develop using computer games and gadgets, only the old fashioned way: books, classes.
If he asked me about the meaning of life ... At the moment, I want him to simply grow up to be a decent person.
- Is it difficult to raise a son?
- Absolutely not. My grandparents help me a lot. Due to my employment and profession, I have very little time. I think he likes what I do. He is pleased that his mother is known to some extent.
“Does he express it somehow?”
- Not. I just feel it. We have just constructive, friendly relations with him, the foundation of which is sincere great love.
- Now who does Leo want to be?
- He hasn't decided yet. I would like him to go to Baumanka somewhere. But I don’t know what he will choose for himself. We spoke about freedom and choice. I will accept any, but I would like to hope that this is something adequate. I can only direct.
- And where is the line?
- The process of education is generally a violent process. I wonder how many people graduated from music school if they were not forced? For example, I graduated, but only because I was forced to. My son also studies at a music school in two classes: cello and piano. Probably, Leve is simpler in this sense, he has friends there and something pulls in there, besides music. But still have to force.
- What do you want to leave after yourself?
- I would like my work to be a contribution to what we have wanted for so long and it has been accomplished. So that we overcome the threat of transition to distance education, which is identical to the death of education and, consequently, the death of our country. No technology, no industry, nothing is possible without man. And a person appears as a result of a long and tedious process of education and upbringing. Cadres decide everything.
I want us to save ourselves in terms of civilization and nation. We are now faced with serious threats in the literal sense of the word. In the post-Soviet space, we are surrounded by American biological laboratories, where the development of biological weapons against the Slavic ethnic group is openly underway.
By the way, I cannot but worry about the issue of aggressively promoted vaccination against coronavirus. We know that the fastest vaccine was created in four years and that, from a well-studied disease, from mumps. By the fall of this year, a normal vaccine cannot be created. But for some reason this idea is being promoted to us. Reason to beware. **
If globally, then all the time I think that the era is imprinted in architecture. If we could become a strong great power, independent, which would offer the world an alternative in the form of the ark of freedom and creative opportunities ...
You can’t impose anything. This is the road to nowhere. You impose is a manipulation. Manipulation on what? On fear. This is a rotten foundation. As a result, everything collapses.
You are truly great when you have done something truly beautiful, which gives you the opportunity to reproduce and reproduce your well-being, creates an attractiveness, as a result of which people themselves come to you.
I would like for us to create such a beautiful, harmonious aesthetics of the new Russia and the Russian state.
It should not be mechanistic with a lack of soul, high-tech. This is all from some kind of Orwell. I want something warm, sincere. Classical architecture, which attracts us and gives a warm feeling, because it is in harmony with nature.
Yes, it should be architecture, which will be in harmony with nature and in which echoes of our past history, our exploits and achievements will be embodied. I would like to participate actively in this.
- How would you like to die?
- Did not think about it. I would like to be with my family and not suddenly, in order to have time to confess, partake and say goodbye.
- Who would you like to be the first to meet in the afterlife?
- I think that there are no boundaries of space. We are all both dead and living in one world at the same time. I wish there were those people whom I love today, here and now.
Thoughts of death plunge me into a heavy and unpleasant thought, because I immediately realize that we have very little time and our lives are fleeting. I am afraid of not having time to do something, offend someone, make some mistakes.
You started talking to you now, and I even wanted to cry. Because I take this seriously. I try not to think about it.
If you think in terms of Christianity, our strength is that we can pray for ourselves and for the departed ancestors. And they do not have the opportunity to pray for themselves. Therefore, it is our duty to help them here. By our prayer we help them there. They already can’t help themselves there.
I’m afraid to make many mistakes, to do wrong and then go to eternity not where I would like to. This cannot be corrected later.
“Will they pray for you here?”
- I really hope that they will. I try to educate my son like that.
* According to statistics on a special website of the World Health Organization, at the time of preparation of the material in the world recorded more than 11.635 million cases of coronavirus. The number of people who died with COVID-19 exceeded 539 thousand.
** Coronavirus vaccine trials - at Sechenovskiy University and Burdenko Hospital - are successful. Patients feel good, the reaction to vaccines lasted no more than a day.
The WHO also talked about testing the drug against coronavirus - the second phase will begin in about two months. In the near future, the organization will create a committee to determine which new drugs will be able to take part in the second phase of the trials.