Farida Ahmed

From the first moment you hold your baby in your arms, the advice of mothers and grandmothers inherited from generation to generation.

"Leave him crying and don't hold him. Feed him every two hours, forcing him to sleep in his room." These are examples of advice the new mother will receive from here and there.

Specialists confirm that these tips are wrong, and even lead to negative consequences and consequences that you do not want your child or your relationship with. Do not listen to these tips, carry your baby and hug him as much as you want, he will grow balanced, together and independently.

On the other side,
writer Marwa Rakha, who specializes in education in the manner of Montessori, believes that there are a number of advice that the new mother receives must be called myths because of her direct harm to the child, his behavior and his relationship to his mother, yet these myths are transmitted from one generation to another and continue until today, and from Those tips:

Many people think baby crying is useful (Pixels).

1- Leave your baby crying
Many mothers think that crying the baby is beneficial to him and contributes to the expansion of his lungs, but "Rakha" indicates that leaving the child crying reduces his intelligence in his early childhood and increases his rebellion and vengeance in his adolescence, and loses him the ability to control his emotions in his youth, Emphasizing that he feels his mother being let down in his early days and months.

The infant may not be able to express himself with words or signs, but there are many reasons for the crying of a child other than hunger and wetness, and all he needs at that time is the bosom of his mother in order to calm down.

2- Don't get
pregnant The new mother always gets repeated advice "Don't hold your baby until you don't spoil him." Indeed, ignoring the child’s innate needs is spoiling him, and neglect also spoils him.

"Rakha" assures Al Jazeera Net that the infant always needs to cuddle, and in his first year needs to go with you everywhere and not put him on the ground and leave him because you are the center of his entire world.

Leaving the child without getting pregnant makes him sad and crying a lot, warning that your refusal to meet his needs in his first three years on the pretext of not spoiling him makes you pay for the rest of your life from stubbornness, defiance and constant anger. 

Baby can only express himself by crying (Bixaby)

3- He should sleep independently.
Most children need to sleep beside the mother for several years in order to move to their own rooms, but the mother often hears the advice of leaving him to sleep in his private room to get used to the matter since childhood.

Rakha explains that the child needs to be breastfed a lot during the night, and feels safe while in the arms of his mother. 

After that, the child begins to resist sleep in every way because he is afraid of the new world, and he needs to feel safe, and that will only come in his mother's bosom, and gradually the fear will go away and his sleep becomes normal.

The educational expert emphasized that the child should not sleep independently in his room except when he is ready to do so, when he does not cry, is forced, and does not defeat every night until he despairs and sleeps.

4- Breastfeeding every two hours One
of the most common advice that a new experienced mother hears is to organize breastfeeding every two hours until the child gets used to the system and does not cling to breastfeeding all day and at any time.

Rakha emphasizes that the child knows his needs, and the mother must take into account that, and he should not impose specific times on him for breastfeeding.

Each child differs from the other in his sense of hunger, as he requests breastfeeding, whether natural or industrial, to meet his needs other than hunger, such as his sense of safety, and stay in the bosom of his mother and communicate with her and smell her smell.

Breastfeeding meets a child's need for food and a sense of safety (German)

5- Hit the ground with his feet. It is
usually advised by the women of the new mother’s family if her newborn has reached the age of four months to guide him frequently, and to make him hit the ground or the furniture with his feet until his back becomes stronger and his muscles are strengthened and he can walk quickly.

Rakha explains that each child has his nervous system, and the skills that can be developed to grow, but he cannot walk prematurely, sit or crawl, and that advice is wrong.

She adds that all that the mother can do is not impede him from his natural growth. "You cannot insist on accustoming the child to the pacifier in his mouth all the time, and wondering about his delay in speaking. She cannot surround him with a wall inside the house, narrowing his space and amazing him because he was late. In love, walking, or even preventing him from touching and recognizing things himself and wondering that his perception does not grow and he becomes aware of things. "


If you try to separate your child from you before they are ready, get sad (Getty Images)

6- He should go to the nursery.
Some mothers advise that the child should go to the nursery or kindergarten early so that he can speak and express himself, and become social because he fears dealing with people.

But Rakha emphasizes that it is important that the child only go to the nursery school when he is ready for it, whether he is at the age of two, three or even four years.

And you see that the child learns to speak when he finds someone who talks to him with love and interest in his home, as he learns socialities, behaviors, duties and feelings in his home and through interaction with his family and the circles surrounding him, and the nursery has no relationship to that.

She cautioned against the danger of dealing with the child's refusal and crying simply because of the nursery, stressing that his crying is not natural and that the reason he stops crying is despair and not habit, and that whenever you try to separate your child from you before he is ready, he is sad and lost his confidence in you and himself.