>> Singles are starting to find time long. With confinement, many French people find themselves unable to satisfy their desires and their impulses. This is the case of Sophie, 26, who is anxious about not having sex for a long time. Our sex therapist Catherine Blanc gave her advice on Wednesday on the program Sans rendez-vous.
Sophie's question, 26:
I am single and I tell myself that I would not have sex for a long time, even from May 11 since the bars and clubs are closed, but these are the places where I flirt most often. Dating sites do not pack, it worries me, what do you think?
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Catherine Blanc's answer:
"You shouldn't be anxious, but you can understand that the time of celibacy stretches during confinement. Anyway, this is a question I often hear: how am I going to meet someone, when dating sites are not my thing. With my friends we go around in circles with people in couple or single, groups of friends do not evolve. So the possible places to meet are bars and nightclubs It is in these places that she is used to putting all her attire to work to meet strangers that she would not necessarily approach in the street.
It is difficult to go to meet people, and if all these places are closed and in addition to work you have to maintain a distance. The problem is that we will find ourselves with each other, talking to each other and smiling with the eyes that will have to be laughing, since the mouths will not be able to express it (because of the masks). We must be able to give ourselves value by maintaining a distance. We will have to wonder when the masks will fall to satisfy our desires. We will have to go beyond our modesty, since these masks will put a distance between us.
Sophie talks about anxiety, but shouldn't you make an effort and try your luck, then see what will happen?
Forcing yourself is good for getting out of your comfort zone, but for many people it is anxiety-provoking. We do not know very well to whom we are addressing, we do not have control of the situation, will we share this with his colleagues… Being able to control a little more the exchange with the other is the situation preferable, and natural, so you can't blame him. As for anxiety, one could say that it is only the story of a few months or even weeks.
She is only 26 years old, the dating sites could correspond to her finally, right?
Yes of course. From our point of view 26 years is very young, but for her it may be a time when his wife was already married and already had a child, where his girlfriends are already in a relationship. For young women of 26 years who are approaching their thirties, the anxiety rises from not having developed a relationship.
It goes far beyond sexual desire: it is the idea of being able to create a couple, to create a relationship over time, before perhaps dying out for another. So it puts a little more pressure and anxiety. A young woman of 26 years old can be in this state of mind in normal times, and in addition watered with the anxiety and the anguish of the coronavirus.
Do you think the dredger will change, and that nothing will be as before?
We will always have to adapt to new data, and this is new. But it was already the case: men no longer flirt like before, and women no longer flirt like before, especially because of all the events that hit the headlines (the MeToo wave, editor's note ). You have to develop your drag, and each one to find his model and the expression of his desires. "