Will confinement get the better of some couples who are tired of being in close proximity for almost two months? It is still too early to say, but Annabelle wonders about the need to continue her relationship once the deconfinement begins. This 30-year-old couple for a year has observed a drop in her libido concomitant with the start of confinement. In Sans Rendez-vous on Europe 1, Thursday, sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc tries to enlighten her on her feelings during this particular period.
The question of Annabelle, 34 years old
"I have been in a relationship for a year. But since confinement, I have questioned my couple. I no longer feel a romantic feeling towards him, my libido with my partner is also affected, so that I can have a lot of desire for other men. What do you think? "
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Catherine Blanc's response
The confinement generates a very close proximity and a difficulty in finding what pushes us to seek a completeness in the other. Inevitably, this is fairly standard and there is no need to worry when the sexual desire is a bit in trouble at that time. That said, it is also a time when for some couples it is revealed what work, friendships and the rest allow to hide. All of a sudden, we are faced with the reality of the relational vacuum that is at work.
Does confinement exacerbate this drop in libido?
Yes, because there were enough outside occupations to deny this reality, to ignore it, and therefore not to work there. Often, we are very distracted by our external environment, we are very little in the being that we are and in the depth of relationships. We let ourselves be carried away by what is easy.
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When there is something to occupy and feed us a little to the right and to the left, we end up denying what is in trouble and on which we would have to work to nourish it, so that the relationship continues.
What is at stake there, in this time of confinement, Annabelle measures poverty. Is it the poverty of the link or its poor poverty in terms of creativity that makes her look for a backup idea outside, in another place, towards other places, other arms, when she sums up her companion to the because of his occasional discomfort from confinement?
But aren't his desires for others fantasies?
Not all fantasies are to be fulfilled since we have certain fantasies that are unmanageable. Some are aggressive, others devouring, without any measure and respect for the environment. They are often there to move our desire, to nourish it, to find it a kind of inner bubbling.
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Between the inaccessible reverie and the steeper and more agreed reality, there is a large margin. The error would be to think that on the one hand, there is nothing left, when there is at all possible. While on the one hand, there is in fact a dream when there is, opposite, a reality which needs to be regularly fed. The fantasy always seems to move quite easily, which could be a misinterpretation.
How should Annabelle react?
Either the feelings were already of this order before confinement, and it is the observation that in these two months of confinement, 'we have done nothing more, proof that we do not know how to put energy into the couple '. In this case, we will have to think about an energy to put in a separation or an urgency to remedy it before it is too late.
If on the other hand, it is only a feeling which was born within the framework of confinement, when things were fairly sweet upstream, there should be no confusion, perhaps it is only from the depression of the situation she projects on a couple. And you shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater!