9 mistakes you can make daily that make you unloved

Laila Ali

Many succumb to the misconception that being loved comes from natural traits that only the lucky few have such a beautiful appearance, the amazing ability to manage social relationships, and having the talent to access hearts directly without introductions.

It is easy to fall prey to this misconception, in fact being loved is something that can be controlled because it is a matter of emotional intelligence, "writer Munira Rangola says in an article on" Your Story. "

In a study conducted at the University of California, more than 500 adjectives were established for people based on their perceived importance to obtain the admiration of others. The study concluded that the higher-rated traits had no correlation with innate characteristics such as being social, smart or attractive. Instead, the most important qualities were sincerity, transparency and the ability to understand.

Being loved is a force that can greatly affect your future. A study by the University of Massachusetts found that managers were willing to accept an argument without supporting evidence, if the person presented was a loved person.

Unlikely attributes
Travis Bravery author (Emotional Intelligence) Travis Bradbury says in an article on Forbes that he conducted research to uncover key behaviors that discourage people when it comes to acceptance, including:

1- Pride behind the mask of humility , we all know these people who love to show themselves behind the mask of self-denial. For example, a girl who mocks herself for being obsessed when she really wants to draw attention to the fact that she is smart, or a man who mocks himself for following a strict diet when he really wants to know about him as an outstanding person with a strong will.

"Everyone does not like the selflessness that comes by showing off something, because it is not just an ordinary brag, but rather an attempt at deception," says Bradbury, who holds a PhD in clinical psychology.

2- Excessive seriousness : Everyone is attracted to energetic and enthusiastic people, but these enthusiasts are often very serious personalities, who indulge themselves in their actions to the fullest extent. As for lovable people, they are the ones who balance work and ability to have fun, and at work they are serious, but they are friendly. They also get their job done quickly because they are socially effective and benefit from their co-workers.

3- Not asking enough questions: The biggest mistake people make during group conversations is to focus heavily on what they will say, and not to listen or focus with the person speaking at this moment.

Everyone knows that there is a lot of selfishness in it. To avoid this habit, you have to ask a few questions. People like to know that you listen to them and that you are interested in what they say, and your questions to them about what they say show that you not only listen, but also care. This returns with much respect and appreciation.

4- Emotional kidnapping: These are actions that people take in order to obtain the sympathy of others, such as people who throw things and scream and make people cry in some situations they are in through a crisis or a problem.

These traits show how a person is socially weak and emotionally unstable, and these behaviors indicate low emotional intelligence. Once you show this level of instability, people ask whether you are trustworthy and able to preserve it.

Control of your emotions makes you special, when you are able to control your feelings in front of someone who wrongs you instead of exploding in them, making him look bad for you.

5- Looking at your phone again and again: The most thing that others hate is when you go out to see a text message or have a quick look at it in the middle of a conversation. When others talk to you, focus all your energy on the conversation, it is more fun and effective.

6- Intentionally mentioning the important people you know during your conversation: It's nice to know important people, but using each conversation as an opportunity to mention it is ridiculous. Rather than making you look so interesting, it makes people feel proud and bragging about them, when you link everything you know to just what you know and conversations lose their usefulness.

7- Gossiping: People make themselves terrible when they exaggerate gossip excessively, or when they usually make gossip for them. Talking about the actions of others or their calamities may harm the feelings of those who transmit information about gossip, and it is also guaranteed to make you appear negative, malevolent, and unloved.

8- Closed mind: If you want to be loved you must be open, which makes you friendly and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already made an opinion and does not want to listen. An open mind is crucial because it means being able to come up with new ideas and adapt especially in the work environment.

To eliminate prejudices and judgments you need to see the world through the eyes of others. This does not require that you believe what they believe or condone their behavior that you do not like, but simply that you stop making judgments on them for long enough until you understand what they really want.

9- Expose a lot of your secrets : Be careful to share a lot of information about your life to others, such as the problems you are going through, and private personal confessions. If you go into the finer details of your life without getting to know the other person first, you are sending a message that you only see your problems.

Social trainer Elizabeth Sue says, in an article on Ladies' website, that people hate people trying to attract interest in deliberate and vulgar ways, while all you need to win people is to be friendly and attentive. And when you speak in a friendly, confident and concise manner, people are more attentive and convinced than if you tried to show them that you were important.