What does it mean to be "asexual"? Is a person manifesting his disinterest in carnal relationships necessarily so? In the show Sans rendez-vous on Europe 1, sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine Blanc replied on Thursday to Sara, a listener who wonders about the possible asexuality of one of her friends.
Sara's question
"A friend told me that he practically never had sex in his life and did not feel the need for it. He is however 33 years old and a handsome boy. Would he be asexual?"
Catherine Blanc's response
To be asexual is to have no interest in sexuality, neither concerning the other, nor concerning oneself. There is no masturbation, no more interest in one sex or another. This is not frequent, asexuals representing, according to an English study, 1% of the population.
Is it a pathology?
It is complicated to speak of pathology. The answer is to think about what makes us build by giving space or no place to sexuality. From a psychological point of view, we can always say that there is matter to flourish in one way or another and this fulfillment can go through a denial of sexuality. We will then question whether there has been a trauma or an injunction, but also question the organic, hormonal part: something does not arise in itself, a physiological impetus linked to hormones. But I don't like the idea of "pathologizing" each other because as such we could also "pathologize" the heterosexual who believes that if he is not in a relationship, he will not have not a normal life.
Are asexuals smarter people?
Asexuals are mainly people who transfer the sexual impulse to other things. When it is not the case, it is people who are depressed, and in this case, we are less interested in sexuality than in the depressed state and the difficulty of taking a place in society. But generally, sexuality has found another way of expression which is so enjoyable that sexuality is no longer of interest.
Do they still have physical relationships?
Some men and women are asexual and still make love to meet each other and maintain a relationship, because they can still be in love. It is the notion of sex, penetration and sexual play that does not concern them. It is therefore necessary to find a partner who participates in the same functioning and who for certain reasons (religious, ethical questions ...) establish a comfortable "deal" where everyone finds his account.
In addition, just because a person is asexual does not mean that they cannot have an erection. She just doesn't want to go to sexuality. However, if by chance this person made love to meet the desire of his partner, he may very well feel pleasure. A pleasure that will however not be accompanied by the erotic fantasy. Also, this will not require you to return there next time.