- In 2019, family affairs judges from Créteil interviewed 287 children out of the 4,500 new cases before them.
- The report Separation: children first will be broadcast at 8.50pm on France 5 in the program Le monde en face.
“I know that children have a say. It was with these words that Louis, at the age of twelve, began his letter to Delphine Thouillon, judge for family affairs in Créteil, in the Val-de-Marne. His parents are in the process of separation, the young teenager and his little sister ask the magistrate to have custody exclusively for their mother. How to manage these children caught in the heart of a conflict that exceeds them? What place should be given to their requests? This is the object of the report by Delphine Cinier La Séparation: les enfants, first broadcast on France 5 on Tuesday evening in the program Le monde en face . We follow the stories of three families followed by this magistrate in office for four years. Interview.
How many children, like Louis, write to you in the context of a particularly conflicting divorce?
In 2019, family affairs judges from Créteil interviewed 287 children out of the 4,888 new cases before us. Today, more than half of divorces are settled by mutual consent, the parents manage to find an agreement. We take care of those for whom this was not the case. But the degrees of conflict are very diverse. In our jurisdiction, families are systematically summoned for a family mediation appointment before seeing a family affairs judge. In some cases, it defuses some of the tension.
In the report, you explain that it is not because a “child wants something” that you will access it. What place do you give to their requests in your final decision?
The hearing of a child is one element of the file among others. We also take into account the parents' practice, social surveys or ordered expert opinions. We are trying to find out if there is a real and serious cause - physical or psychological violence in particular - that justifies the fact that he no longer wishes to see one of his parents. We often notice that in case of conflict, he will, more or less consciously, take the side of the guardian parent to buy himself a kind of tranquility. In this case, our role is to maintain the link. We have to plan for the future: a child who no longer sees one of his two parents may suffer from it later.
How does one unravel the true from the false in children's discourse? Some are victims of manipulation…
It does happen, even if it is not the majority of cases. We realize that the speech is stereotyped, as if repeated. The child takes sides with one parent, systematically disparages the other. When you dig, there aren't really any answers. In extreme cases, the charges laid can be particularly serious: violence, sexual assault or the radicalization of the other parent. Expert opinions are then ordered, investigations are carried out to verify the statements. In these files, the children's judge is regularly seized, especially if it is considered that the child is used as a weapon in the conflict of his parents and that he goes into the background as the hatred between them is strong.
What guides your decisions?
The interest of the child. We have to plan for the future, we wonder where it will be best. Or the least bad. Solutions must be found to help a family to calm down. This can go through mediation, family therapy or social assistance for children, which sets up educational assistance. It should always be borne in mind that in these conflicts, children are the first victims.
Society
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