TESTIMONY
Françoise's family was rather united until a violent argument broke out. At the microphone of "La Libre antenne" on Europe 1, Françoise evokes this quarrel that shattered her family during the holiday season. Her eldest daughter, who could no longer bear to be reproached and treated madly by her two children and her ex-husband, lost her temper. Françoise confides in Olivier Delacroix the pain she feels for her daughter and the pain caused by this family quarrel.
>> Listen to Françoise's testimony in full here
During the end of year celebrations our family met. My oldest daughter lives in Florence with her daughter, and her son lives in London. My youngest daughter and her daughter live in the Alpes-Maritimes. There was a real family breakdown during the holidays. My oldest daughter entered into an extremely violent anger against her ex-husband during a meal. They have been separated for five years, but they seemed to have had good relationships after their separation, and sometimes the whole family reunited for certain occasions.
" This altercation was a surprise to me "My eldest daughter denounced a situation which she had suffered for five years, that is to say since her separation. She noticed that her two children and her ex-husband were joining forces to blame her, a situation she could no longer bear and that she wanted to denounce. She wanted it to stop. I feel like it lasted an hour. It was a giant anger, during which she showed an appalling rudeness. My eldest daughter is by no means rude. He is a very elegant person, passionate about the arts, who has invested himself in his children in a remarkable way. I honestly was shocked by her verbal abuse.
My eldest daughter is 51 years old, her son is 30 years old and her daughter is 28 years old. We are not talking about young children. After these end of year celebrations, the vision I had of my family exploded. I had never heard my grandchildren criticize their mother. My grandson hadn't told me anything. My granddaughter had called me once or twice to tell me about her discomfort in Florence, but didn't blame her mother. This altercation was a surprise to me. I knew that my son-in-law had a whole series of small faults, otherwise my daughter would not have left him.
" My son-in-law accuses my daughter of being mad "Among all that my daughter said the night she broke out, there were a number of things that she had touched on a bit, but that I hadn't recorded as important. These were normal things that happen in all families. But we are no longer a classic situation, my son-in-law accuses my daughter of being crazy. The two children of my oldest daughter are of the opinion of their father. They uttered the word "schizophrenic", which has nothing to do with reality. They frankly accused her of being unbalanced.
I was afraid of these accusations. My mother was an abusive mother. I was beaten and so was my sister. When I was a teenager, something worse happened after my parents' divorce was declared. My mother's lover forced me, he raped me. From this relationship was born my eldest daughter. My two daughters are the children of this man. At 20, I was alone with my two daughters whom I raised entirely alone. I'm totally against family secrets, so they know. There is an extraordinary force between the three of us.
>> Find Olivier Delacroix's Free Antenna in replay and podcast here
My youngest daughter was in trouble 20 years ago when she was expecting her baby. I had taken a large house so that she could give birth to her child in pleasant conditions. At the same time, my oldest daughter, my son-in-law and their two children were financially stuck. They asked us if they could live in this big house with us temporarily. We accepted. After three months, it was not going at all. At that time, my son-in-law started to tell me that my daughter had a psychiatric problem, because of which harmony could not reign in the house. Life went on and I never thought about it again.
When these accusations came back during the holiday season, I made the connection and realized that the same maneuvers were at stake. I learned that my son-in-law had already declared that my daughters and I were all three struck with a form of madness. I wondered if that could be true, if it was possible that I had passed on something excessive to my two daughters, so that the three of us could be cataloged.
" I have pain for my daughter "That evening, after everyone was gone, my daughter expressed great relief after saying what she had to say. The concern is the form she used. She was angry and had very hurtful words about her two children. After understanding the realities she had mentioned, I told my daughter that she was a courageous and upright woman, and that she did honor to women.
I have pain for my daughter, because of what her children make her live, whereas she was an exemplary mother. My grandson managed to study thanks to her. She is the one who put everything in place in the household. It's an injustice, I never wanted her to have that to live. I also feel sorry for myself because of this burst. I do not believe that the harmony which reigned before between my grandchildren and me is broken, I believe that it is interrupted.