5 things you do that make your teenage children angry, and 3 ways you can be satisfied

Laila Ali

Many loving, well-intentioned parents make fun of their teenage sons, shyness, criticize them, blame them, throw frustration and its consequences on their heads, and say things they will never say to another adult.

It is true that teens are moody and sometimes very angry, but before you describe your child as angry, ask yourself this question: Is it possible that I am the cause of this anger?

Psychologist and author Sean Grover says in an article entitled "Things you do that offend your children" on Psychology Today, before you blame your son and start complaining to your friends, ask yourself if you are guilty of the following educational crimes:

Criticism: Constant criticism of your children makes them feel unsuccessful. Parents ’words are strong and affect the identity of a teenager who develops very quickly. Teenagers may behave aggressively, but their feelings about themselves are very fragile and weak. The golden rule: Never say anything to your child that you don't want anyone to tell you.

Unwanted advice: Unwanted advice always has negative results with teenagers. Especially when counseling is provided with guidance that includes sentences such as "You need to do it ..", you were a teenager and you know that teens spend most of their lives resisting requests from adults, so unwanted advice is likely to increase the challenge and reduce confidence .

Comparison: Do you or anyone else you know enjoy negative comparison with others? If the phrase "why not like ..." starts, make sure you only harm your son. This hurt is often the reason why teenagers become angry with their parents. Many of them feel under attack when their parents compare them to their peers or brothers. It also negatively affects friends and brotherhood relationships and increases emotional tension.

The role of the victim: Parenting is not an easy thing, so do not make your hobby complain from your children to others, do not inherit your state as a father to your friends and relatives inside and outside your home, this negative trait weakens your authority as a parent and generates a toxic environment. And because it is a day for you and a day for you, know that when you complain about your son, your son will complain about you, and this is a dead end for everyone.

Self-Inflating: Being proud of yourself in front of your son sends him a confusing message, "You must be like me." But teenagers are known for their keen desire to separate and distinguish from their parents, they do not want to be like you, they want to create a unique identity of their own, so stop saying the sentence that begins with "when I was your age .." because this sentence and its like convey the arrogance and feeling With insecurity.

The means of true parenthood
In exchange for the five actions that you should not do with your teenage son in order not to make him angry person all the time, you must use three methods that will certainly not let you down while practicing your parental tasks that require some authority and a lot of understanding and respect.

To listen more than you talk : listening is the basis for the art of dialogue with children and success in opening channels of communication with them. Adolescents who feel that their parents listen and appreciate their opinions are more helpful and less challenging.

Try this simple suggestion: listen to your son without judging him, without giving advice that he didn't ask for, and without injecting your own experience into the matter. Then closely monitor your child's reactions. The most certain possibility is that he will turn to you next time when he wants to talk about something that occupies him, at least you have guaranteed knowing the direction your son is thinking, and that he will not turn to others you know nothing about if he wants to share his thoughts with someone.

To cherish and value them : Estimate your children the way they are and not the way you want them to be. Children crave attention no matter how much they object, they desperately want their parents to agree to what they do. Find a way to highlight your child's strengths. And if your son fails something, do not comment by saying "I told you about it."

Teenagers feel bad enough when they fail to achieve something they so desperately want, that they don't need parents refusing to add them to their burdens. Do your best to praise your son's efforts regardless of the outcome, and this will reduce his stress levels and increase his self-esteem.

Inherited behavior : Children understand their parents' way of communication and drink their habits. If you are impatient, your child will likely be in a rush. If you are an angry person your son will eventually become so. So be the one you want to be your son.