Grandparents and grandchildren .. love despite the struggle of generations and different ideas

Larissa Slaei - Beirut

Grandmother and grandmother have a special place in the lives of our children, as they are a haven and a caring refuge if they are cruel to them, but their involvement in raising a child may be a source of inconvenience to parents due to their excessive pampering of the grandson, and their constant desire to overcome their mistakes.

The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is a loving relationship that exceeds expectation, as the grandparents constitute a basic image of childhood and a support to the family. They give the grandchildren emotional security, and give them a feeling of protection as if they were a wall they can lean on, although some relationships are not without convulsions and clashes between the grandfather and the grandson, especially in what is known as the generational struggle and the difference of ideas and nature.

To what extent does the intervention of grandparents in raising a child affect its upbringing? Is there a way to harmonize the packages of parents and the kindness of grandparents? We review some life experiences that show the pros and cons of this relationship and its nature:

Grandpa pamper his grandchildren and takes an initiative to protect them
Nadine Ghaleb (35 years) lives with her mother, she is the grandmother of her three children, she remembers her father who died several months ago and how he was excessively pampering them and trying to meet all their demands, and if the children made a mistake and tried to punish them, he would be the first initiative to defend them to protect them from punishment.

Nadine does not hide that this matter was causing her extreme distress, and nevertheless she is ashamed to ask the grandfather not to interfere in raising her children for fear that this matter will offend him. She tries to address the positive and negative matters of her children away from the grandparents, and does not praise their behavior so as not to over praise and do not punish them for their mistakes so as not to spoil this as well, and leave them time spent together and later on with their children.

Nevertheless, Nadine affirms that grandparents' dealings with grandchildren have many advantages. It gives grandchildren family security and stability, gives them communication with their origins and provides them with advice wrapped in affection and kindness, and supported by previous experiences.

The modern generation is temperamental
As for Mrs. Antoinette El Khoury (Nadine’s mother), the seventieth grandmother, she considers that education differed between the old generation and the new generation or the Internet generation, and there is difficulty in dealing with it because it is a very moody generation, an independent generation and does not like to control it.

But being a school teacher, and as a result of her experience in education, she was able to deal with grandchildren and interact with them, and when you are bothered by them, the method of silence and neglect is adopted as a form of punishment. She admits that the difference exists between modern education and old education.

She points out that many of the problems that occur between the spouses, whose negative impact is reflected on raising children, are easily resolved by the grandparents by virtue of their experience in life. The grandfather is also the best teacher for grandchildren, and the younger ones listen to his advice more than any media, so the death of their grandfather has a profound and sad impact on their lives.

In short, the presence of the grandfather and the grandmother is a positive element in the life of the grandchildren - even if some parents do not like this matter - and they also contribute to forming their personality and consolidating their beautiful memories.

Grandparents and participate in raising children
Grandmother is a beautiful grandmother, grandchildren. It is a piece of the ancestral liver and they have the right to raise them, just as fathers should give this right to grandparents. Grandchildren are the harvest of age for grandparents and it is not the right of parents to deny grandparents from participating in their upbringing. In many cases, there are quarrels between parents and grandparents about the parenting methods of parenting, such as severely beating children in front of their grandparents.

"I never accept that my grandchildren will be beaten in front of me. This raises pain for me, and my daughters must know that grandparents have experience with raising methods, and we must agree on a specific method for education to be correct and away from the spasm that results in conflicting opinions about raising them."

Between parenting and parenting
As for her daughter, Ghani Itani, she has a different opinion, and explains that raising parents for children depends on responsibility unlike the grandparents who offer love and affection and strive to make the relationship solid and distinct, for example, as she tries to educate her children according to modern education methods and the current environment, her mother does not prefer to punish anyone before her, so the dispute arises Or, when they are reprimanded, her mother does not accept him at all and admonishes her, demanding that she not shout at them.

The child rejects the advice of his parents and accepts it from his grandparents
The family advisory Katrina Shaheen indicates that what attracts the child to grandparents is their pampering for him, just as the ancestral affection prevents parents from punishing their children, and this is what children love most, stressing that "there are no grandparents whose goal is to spoil the educational system of the father and mother, but their actions arise from the motive of love They break the rules of the father and mother by giving the best feelings, and they spoil the grandchildren with the extra significance.

The child sometimes rejects the advice of his parents when she bears a reprimand or a threat, and accepts it from his grandparents because their style shows more affection and love, so parents must give their children safety and affection.

She finishes her talk that the father and mother live in parenting with their children with their sweet and bitter, but the two grandparents live with the grandchildren of parenting and the late motherhood is only sweet, and the bitter side leaves it to the father and mother, so grandparents see the grandchildren as a natural extension of their lineage and a source of happiness and pride in their lives.

In their turn, grandchildren find in the ancestors the bosom that gives them a sense of safety and belonging. So having grandparents in the family is a safety valve for grandchildren, says family consultant Katrina.