Lucia stands at the door and soon it is Christmas and New Year celebrations . For many, it means family reunions, end of preschool or school and a lot of moments that we want to share and share with our loved ones.

The increased use of social media has meant that we can suddenly share practically everything with everyone, our own lives but also our children's.

Many parents are uncertain about how to relate to this. What pictures of the children can / should we share or not share on social media?

The issue comes up in parenting forums, in leadership pages and in our flow, and many times the views are severely disjointed. Interestingly, most of us adults are heard and seen, even though this is a question that primarily concerns our children.

We would therefore like to encourage you as a parent to let your child speak.

Letting the child speak and get involved when we parents want to post things online is important for several reasons. Firstly, all children have the right to think about things that affect them.

Asking the children also means that we show them that they are worth listening to and that what they think and think is important.

Children do as we do, in psychology it is called model learning. Therefore, it is also important that we are good role models and always ask the child before, for example, sharing pictures of the child with others.

We then show the child how to do practical, something they will have with them in their own relationships when they want to post things about their friends.

You as a parent need to decide for yourself the best way to ask and listen to your child.

This is because children, just like adults, are very different. Age and level of maturity have a huge impact on how easy it is that eg. understand the consequences or to express their will.

A 3-year-old can neither express nor understand the consequences of publishing an image, while a 14-year-old can have clearer opinions. Before you post anything: make the child involved in the whole process.

Tell the child what you thought, listen to your child and show interest in the child's opinions. These 5 questions you can ask yourself before posting (from the American Academy of Pediatrics):

  • Why are you sharing the photo? It is not your information that you share, but your child's. Remind yourself of this every time you think about posting something.
  • Would you like someone to share this about you? Since we are all different, this issue can be difficult to measure. The best thing to do when your child is old enough is to ask. It is important that the child is co-determining.
  • Could your child be ashamed or think this is embarrassing? Either now or in the future.
  • Is there anyone who shouldn't know or see this about your child? People google each other all the time, from employers to potential romantic relationships. If what you want to post could hit your child later in life: don't do it.
  • What is on the web is what most people have to go on when they create an image of a person. In what way can what you want to post make your child appear?