Mission Impossible .. Why shouldn't you be a perfect mother?

Farida Ahmed

`` Perfect mother '' is a magical term and stereotype that shows the mother as having supernatural abilities, a combination of pure tranquility, excessive vitality, enduring wisdom and endless dedication, a mixture of the mother's qualities between health, beauty, strength, independence and reason, and another combination of qualities she must give to her children. In order to constantly look for that picture, the relationship between the mother and her children is negatively affected, since there is actually no “perfect mother”, while perhaps it is better to be just a “good mother”.

Ideal mother .. Impossible qualities
Day for Mother lists the ideal mother's qualities as follows:

1. She always spends quality time with her children.

2 - self-sufficient children.

3- They teach them manners and behaviors.

4 - friendly with them.

5 - give them confidence and give importance to their views.

6- Always exist.

8 - encourage them and listen to them very accurately.

9 - share their problems.

10 - expresses love for children, and do not lose patience quickly.

Based on these qualities, the pursuit of the "ideal" degree requires that the mother always devote itself to spending a lot of time with her children, and to be an independent personality and able to rely on herself, in addition to be happy and playful and always ready to meet the child's emotional needs without feeling tireless or Fatigue, which makes no sense at all, according to pediatrician Rana Safwat.

Safwat says that the mother faces many difficult life requirements between work and trying to material independence, and provide a healthy life for her children from preparing healthy meals, and attention to cleanliness, study and exercise, in addition to caring for the home and talking with children and solve their problems, and meet the requirements of her husband, and spend a pleasant time is not without Playing and loving with children, and reconciling all these things on a daily basis is very difficult.

She adds, "Once the mother tries to strive to achieve this, she finds herself unable to achieve what she wants, which may affect her negatively, and will run out of energy very quickly and find herself lose control and deviate from that image against her will. It will even undermine his self-confidence because of his constant urge to be perfect too. "

Advantages of maternity are not ideal
Safwat asserts that there are many advantages to being an ideal mother:

1. You have some energy that allows you to complete the day without feeling enormous stress.

2 - you will not always blame your children because of the pressure, you will not feel the lack of continuous and self-flogging.

3 - Create a normal relationship with your children where spaces of anger and tolerance, and you will not feel exhausted emotional.

4 - Preparing your children that life is not always perfect, and that there is room for error, tolerance and anger but limits, which is good training to empty some negative energy.

5 - spending your time away from children allows you to rest and clear the mind and recharge your energy, also teach them self-reliance and solve their own problems because you are not always present.

Enough to be a good mother
A child does not need a perfect mother who may harm her by her constant quest for perfection, but she needs a good mother who is close by when she needs it, accepts her flaws and tries to repair them with him, and creates them naturally in a natural society. Safwat determines the qualities of a good mother and her role in the life of her children and what she should do as follows:

1 - Teaching children to help always, and it starts from home to help you in housework, whether male or female, through that they will learn the values ​​of participation, cooperation and responsibility.

2 - respect for others, and starts from your respect for your child, no matter how small, you can miss but must apologize for your mistake, and here the child will learn respect and the need to apologize.

3 - healthy relationships, avoid raising differences between parents in front of children, but it is possible to discuss different views in a civilized manner in front of children to learn to accept the difference.

4 - Engage the father in the responsibility of the children, and get a special time on your own or with your friends to feel the importance of the time alone to clear the mind and independence.

5 - Allow mistake and repeat it at first, and allow yourself to anger sometimes and punishment, but within certain limits do not exceed, it is human nature.

6 - accompanying children at different ages, and talk to them and discuss and contain them always.

7. Flexibility and calmness Most of the time, it enables you to think well and deal well with them, and search for solutions well.

8 - Learn how to organize your time, and make sure to allocate time, even a simple for your children to talk to them or play or read stories.